Desperately Seeking Baby...Babies Found

My thoughts on raising twins and a singleton after infertility.

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Friday, November 30, 2007



Last Day of NaBloPoMo

Before I had children, I never could understand how anyone could hurt a child (well, anyone really, but especially a child). Now that I'm mother, that feeling is even stronger. How can someone do that? I just read a story where a mother killed her young children in a store bathroom. So sad.

I have to stop thinking about in an attempt to do so, on to more fun topics.

Someone googled pencil test and it brought this person to a post I had written a while ago in which I mention the test that supposedly shows how many children you will have and in what order - well, I guess it's right for far. :-D

Ella and Benjamin were fussy babies last night - they kept waking up and screaming. It's got to be that they are teething - what else could it be? So I'm a bit tired today, and I'd imagine the babies are too since they got very little sleep as well. Darn. I was hoping we'd be even more lucky than we already are and have babies who go through teething with no issues.

Well, I don't know when I'll be blogging again since it isn't NaBloPoMo anymore, but I may have things to talk about so I might be back sooner than I think. Have a great weekend everyone!

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Thursday, November 29, 2007

Twin Talk & December

Those of you who read both this blog and my other one will notice that this post is exactly what I wrote on the other one. I'm just lazy today, and I don't remember reading that each post for NaBloPoMo has to be unique (of course, I didn't look either).

Yesterday afternoon when I finally got to the daycare (after spending 45 minutes trying to get from First Hill to Shoreline), I went straight to my babies and said hello to them. They smiled. Then the day care provider (DCP from now on) asked me if I wanted to sign the babies out (apparently, I was supposed to be doing this all this time), so I said yes just as soon as I was reaching down to get Ella. I went to go over to sign the book, and I think Ella thought I was leaving her again as she started to cry Jon was telling me that the DCP told him that Ella will cry when he leaves in the morning. Aww sweetie! Mommy and papa don't want to leave you! I quickly signed them out and went to go pick up Ella. She was a happy girl...until later when she had gotten tired of playing in the exercauser and well, wanted to sleep. She was a bit mad at me for making her wait until I could finish putting the silverware in the dishwasher (we desperately needed more bottles cleaned). Her little face got so red. I felt so bad. I snuggled with her for a while after that. I gave her some food and she promptly fell asleep, but in true Ella fashion, she woke up the second I put her in her crib. She started to talk to the bears hanging from the mobile. She kept waking up last night - she must be teething - this is not like her to keep waking up that much. I think Benjamin might have slept the entire night except for maybe one little squeak that a pacifier helped with.

This morning, Benjamin saw that I was leaving and he started to cry. I bent down (he was in the bouncy seat) and I gave him a kiss and gave him my hand. He got a hold of my glove and wouldn't let it go. He had a smile on his face at that moment as if to say, "you can't go now. I have you." I broke free of his strong grasp, and headed toward the door. He started crying again. Aww - he didn't want me to leave. I wanted so much to stay, but I couldn't. I had to walk really fast to the bus stop to make it there on time. I can't wait until we have another car so we can spend more time with each other in the morning and maybe I can switch my work hours so I can get home earlier (if I'm given the approval).

December is going to be a busy month as it is every year, but this year, is even busier. We've met new people through our childbirth classes so we're getting together with them, and this year, most of my support group are parents so we're getting together to celebrate. What a wonderful year we've all had. Except for one lady who had her baby in late 2006, we've all had our babies in 2007 (that reminds me, I need to send a birthday card to my friend's child who turns 1 on Sunday).

This weekend, we're going to a friend's choir concert and to a Toys for Tots event that another friend does every year. Hopefully, the weather cooperates!

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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

short post

Today's blog entry is going to be a short one. I'm writing this at a little after 9 and I desperately want to go to lay down and go to sleep.

I went to go see my OB/GYN today for the usual yearly exam. I gave her a picture of Benjamin and Ella - she seemed happy to get it. It was nice to talk to her. She had her 2nd child 3 months ago and had just returned to work.

Well, that will be all for today. It will be good when NaBloPoMo is over so I won't feel like I have to blog something.


Tuesday, November 27, 2007

The Day Today

Today was just a long, crazy day at work. I hope I never have a day like that again, except I will, tomorrow. Actually, tomorrow will be short (due to a doctor's appointment) but will still be crazy.

Tonight, when we came home, I had Benjamin and Ella on the gymini together. It was cute because Benjamin kept smiling at his sister and Ella was busy trying to eat the butterfly hanging down from the frog. Sometimes she would lose her grip on the butterfly, and would hit Benjamin in the face. He had a startled look on his face, then just went right back to smiling at his sister. This happened at least 3 times. Benjamin still hasn't rolled over again. Ella did though.

Oh, and what else is kinda funny. Benjamin wouldn't talk to me tonight, but he would talk to his sister. You've seen her all day! Talk to me! It was still cute though.

Ella talked to the bears on the mobile - so cute.

What's interesting is that earlier, the babies were just put into their bed, the light was turned off and they're asleep now. That was easy - they must have been tired.

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Monday, November 26, 2007

A Long Post for Monday

Hopefully, all goes well with my mother-in-law’s doctor appointment today. She’s meeting with a neurologist.

I finished reading Happiness Sold Separately. For those that may not know, it is about a couple who went through fertility treatments and all that entails, then early in the book, the main female character learns that her husband is having an affair. The woman had distanced herself from her husband – falling into this black hole I think a lot of us know all too well. A lot of the things that the character says about her treatments and failing to get pregnant or keep a pregnancy is what I believe a lot of us feel. However, there was one thing that kind irked me and I’ll write about it below the line so if you don’t want to know part of the story – don’t read below the line!

So a while ago, I asked for advice on how to carry the twins into and out of daycare when there is only parent around. Since we have the new convertible car seats installed, we no longer can carry them out in the car seats as these ones stay in the car. This morning, Jon tried the plan of putting one baby in the Bjorn and carrying the other – well, when one leans over to get the other baby while one is in the Bjorn – the Bjorn baby will squirm and try to wiggle her way out of the Bjorn. So that won’t work. Onto the next idea of using a stroller. Either, Jon will have to call the daycare to tell them when he’s outside so he can go in through the garage (the day care is on the bottom floor of the house) or he’s going to have wheel the stroller over and ring the doorbell with one baby in arms, and go back down the stairs after he hands over one baby to go get the other. Of course, this means we need to go get a stroller now. We were going to wait a bit, but I guess not anymore. At least when I go pick them up later, someone at the daycare can help me bring them out to the car.

Benjamin hasn’t rolled over since that one time he did so the other day. Ella is still the roll over queen (from her tummy to her back anyway). Last night, we got suckered into letting the babies sleep with us. First, Ella woke up screaming and I went to go give her a pacifier. That worked for a bit, but then later, she woke up again, and next thing I know, Jon is back in our room laying down with her. When Benjamin woke a while later, I tried the pacifier trick, but that wasn’t working. I picked him up and I just loved holding him so I just brought him to bed with me. I didn’t get much sleep after that – he kept making weird noises and I couldn’t stop looking at him laying there so peaceful. Ella looked equally peaceful. My little happy family – Oliver was in there too, but no Sophie.

After the couple tries to reconcile, they are a bit more relaxed about sex and what do you know, they get pregnant! So if you’re trying to get pregnant, just relax! UGH! Unfortunately, that happiness of being pregnant took a really sad turn and they ended up having a miscarriage after seeing the heartbeat on two separate occasions and after graduating to the OB’s office. The couple later learns why the miscarriage occurred and why she wasn’t able to stay pregnant.

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Sunday, November 25, 2007

Little Post

Boo - the Huskies lost yesterday. But the Seahawks won today!

I managed to get one project done this weekend - so happy. This project will be a Christmas gift for a couple different people. Yay!

Well, I must keep this one short. I need to go give my daughter a bath, then when Benjamin wakes up from his little nap, he'll get one too.

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Saturday, November 24, 2007

Football, Rolling Over and Car Seats

Apple Cup is going on right now - Go Huskies!!!

Ella is continuing to roll over, so it wasn't just a one time thing. Benjamin also rolled over for the first time today from his tummy to his back, but he only did it once today. Hopefully, he'll try to do it again soon. Ella is trying to roll from her back to her tummy and she's been really close.

Jon's mom told us why they didn't come to Thanksgiving dinner at our house - she said she couldn't walk when she tried to get up to do so that morning. She's going to a doctor on Monday. I wish they would have told us why Thursday morning so I'm not thinking Jon's dad hates me and the twins (though he's only met them once).

We got new car seats - we ended up getting this one. One is black and the other (a friend of mine will like the colors on this one) is pink and brown (the one in the link). Because of gift certs we had, it only cost us $8 to get the car seats (my kind of price). We didn't get a new stroller yet - none of the (very limited) choices at Babies 'R Us really caught my attention (well, one did in that it is the same pattern as our infant car seats). Any recommendations out there for a twin stroller? We might get umbrella strollers for when we are bought around, but for those times it is just one of us, we'll need a twin stroller.

Well, I better go. Jon is going to meet his friends for game night and the babies are going to want to eat soon. I kinda hope that they go to bed easy tonight as I've been up since 5:30 and I'm exhausted!

Before I go, has anyone read Happiness Sold Separately? If so, what did you think? I'm almost done with it (it takes me 3 weeks to finish a book these days).

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Friday, November 23, 2007

Friday Post

How sad is the story about Dennis Quiad's twins - I hope that they get better soon. :-(

For me - nothing much to say today. Ready for the work day to be over so I can go home to my twins. Though I need to make a stop at Tar&get to get some things for the babies and maybe get a scanner/copier/printer that they have on sale (we haven't had a printer in a while so we need one). I also need to stop by at the library as I have CDs to pick up there. Exciting, I know.


Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thankful at Thanksgiving

I hope everyone had or is having a wonderful Thanksgiving. We are thankful for a lot. Our babies, our kitties, our friends, and much more.

Jon and I ended up spending Thanksgiving on our own. Jon's parents decided to not come up for some reason. Sometimes I wonder if my father-in-law likes me and the babies. Anyway, we ended up having a wonderful day. We watched some football games - a must on Thanksgiving for me. We went on a walk before dinner, and then we had our dinner. We have some leftovers! I know what I'm having for dinner tomorrow. While we were eating dinner, we had the babies in their high chairs, but they were a bit cranky and needed a nap - per usual, Ella slept for maybe 10 minutes, if that. I hope this means she'll sleep through the night (which reminds me, Ella woke up for about 10 or so minutes at 1:30 this morning, but other than that, both babies slept throughout the night).

Also, I managed to get about 5 or 6 loads of laundry done - something I wouldn't have done had we had company over. We desperately needed some laundry done.

And the most wonderful part of the day - Ella has rolled over!!!! She did it from her tummy to her back, so far, a total of 8 times today. The last few, it seemed each time I put her on her tummy, she'd roll right over. She got so excited, especially the last few times she did. She seemed so proud of herself. I certainly am proud of her. Benjamin looked like he was about to roll over when he was on his tummy, but he didn't. I was getting excited that both babies might roll over on Thanksgiving.

How cute - Ella is talking to her papa right now. They are hanging out with me upstairs as I write my blog post for the day.

Well, that's it for now. I have to go to work tomorrow. We are trying to make it a bit more enjoyable to be at work by having a potluck.

Anyway, happy Thanksgiving again!

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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Baby Talk

Yesterday, I spent some time organizing the blogs that I read into categories. I haven't finished yet and I'm not sure when I will. That area of my blog has needed some updates for a while.

For a while, I've thought about starting a new blog here on blogger that will be about being a mom of twins. This blog will continue to be out there if anyone chose to read the archives, but I wouldn't write on this one anymore. This blog isn't about my infertility anymore, so I feel like I should move on from this one and start a new one. I'd need a cutesy title though. Any ideas?

I need to think about whether it would be worth making the switch.

On the topic of twins, Benjamin woke up every 2 hours last night. At 4:30, I just let him lay in bed with me. Jon had Ella upstairs. At first, this wasn't what he wanted, but when I got him closer to me, he settled right in. I guess he needed some snuggle time. I'm thinking he's teething as he's been drooling A LOT lately. Ella has too, I think.

One of the day care ladies was telling us yesterday that Ella is very close to rolling over. I know she's been close - I'm just waiting for her to actually do it. Benjamin, not so much. When I put him on his tummy, he'll lift up his head for a little while, then he's had enough of that. He seems closer to rolling over from his back to his front.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Singing to Babies

For those who have had c-sections, does your scar just randomly hurt sometimes? Mine does - perhaps I just moved in a weird way or something.

Sometimes when I look at a picture of my babies, I'm just amazed I'm their mother...that I'm a mother to anyone.

I'm looking at this picture of Ella and Benjamin with Santa, and I think - Ella is my beautiful girl and Benjamin is my handsome dude. That reminds me - one song that they both seem to like is my own version of "Beautiful Girls" by Sean Kingston (and apparently, many others). It goes something like (though the lyrics change sometimes)...

"Beautiful Girl
Ella is a Beautiful Girl.
She is the cutest baby girl
in this whole wide world,
of that I am sure."

Then I'll turn to Benjamin and sing

"Handsome Dude
Benjamin's a handsome dude
He is the cutest baby boy
in this whole wide world
of that I am sure."

They both just smile when I sing that, especially Ella.

There are many other songs I'll use the melody for and substitute my own words - always the lyrics have to include Benjamin and Ella. They seem to like me singing to them.

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Monday, November 19, 2007

Manic Monday...wish it was Sunday

I wish I could watch those videos of Benjamin & Ella talking when I'm at work - they are so cute! This morning - I'm guessing around 4 a.m., I heard Benjamin talking in his crib. So incredibly cute. It had to be dark in there, so maybe he was trying to tell us to come get him or maybe he was trying to wake up Ella. In either case, it worked. Ella woke up and Jon went to go get her - he went upstairs with her. Then a bit later, I got up to go get Benjamin. I laid him down next to me and we fell asleep next to each other. It was hard waking up this morning at 5:30 to pump with his cute little self next to me. I eventually did get up and when I was done pumping, Benjamin woke up and gave me a huge smile.

That reminds me, yesterday, I was sorting some clothes for a friend and I thought Ella was sleeping, but I turn around after getting some hats out to sort, and there was Ella staring at me and giving me a big smile. How sweet is that?

I just went to go pick up the pics I'm going to submit to the baby model contest I mentioned a few days ago. We'll see if anything comes of it. The pics I chose are a couple that are on my flickr site - I'm too lazy to point out which ones.

Some of these look kinda cute - I'm tempted to get some for Ella.

We will be spending Thanksgiving at our house with my in-laws. Hopefully, despite my mother-in-law's dislike of the holiday, we will have a good time. I'm looking forward to it. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to the holidays with my babies though I do wish my family could join us. I guess I just like big celebrations.

I really don't think I'm going to make it to 6 months for pumping. My supply is seriously dwindling. It makes me kinda sad it's nearing the end because I want to give my babies breast milk, but also glad that I won't have to strap on that bra and those suction cups anymore. Speaking of, I should finish up my lunch and go pump.

My thoughts are just all over the place today!

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Sunday, November 18, 2007

Ella talking

Ella videos (I found them)....


Benjamin Talking

A couple videos of Benjamin talking...(Ella is crying in the background of the first - she's with her grandma, so we're not neglecting her...)

I know I have some of Ella talking - I just need to find them in all these videos we have!

Holding Hands

Holding Hands
Originally uploaded by heathercim
How cute is this? They're holding hands!!!

And a video of them...

Lazy Sunday

I don't have much to talk about today. We're just having a lazy Sunday - hanging out at home and playing. Just the kind of weekend day I like...though I did just get done balancing the checkbook and paying some bills. What a fun time that is. Now, I'll go see if I can put together a box of clothes for a friend having a baby in February and another for one lady in a lab in the department Jon works in. But first, I should probably get something to eat while I have the chance. We might even watch a football game today too - the Seahawks play in about an hour.

Hey, that reminds me. I guess Seattle is getting a major league soccer team - I wonder how that will go. Will people in this town go to a soccer game? It doesn't seem like many people go to a Sounders game (soccer team in town). I've never been to one...though I've only been to one Seahawks game and that was because my dad got free tickets. Those seats are expensive!

Anywho, off to eat and put together those boxes while I have a chance.

And for the person who made that comment a few days ago, why can't you admit who you are?


Saturday, November 17, 2007

With Santa

With Santa
Originally uploaded by heathercim
Here's a picture of them with Santa.

Support Group & Santa

Benjamin is so cute. He has become quite the talker - he says so many different sounds. It sounds as if he's telling a story. So cute. Ella has been doing that for a while now - her talking has a lot of gurgling in it - so funny and cute.

Well, this morning, though I almost didn't go, I went to a support group meeting with other multiple moms. One of the moms was from my infertility support group - it was a surprise to see her there. Her babies are just a month old. I was so glad she was there - I didn't realize until I saw her how much I miss the ladies from that group. We're planning a get-together in early December - it will be great to see them and to see the changes that each baby has made.

Another one of the couples I had met before from my multiples class at UW. It was a good discussion so I'm glad I went. We helped answer each other's questions we had on sleeping, bathing, developmental milestones, etc. I will definitely be going to the next Saturday meeting in December.

After I came home, Jon and I got the babies ready to go get pictures taken with Santa. It was great - we just walked right in, took their coats off, took the pictures, then got the coats back on and came back home. We were there for maybe 10 minutes total. I'll be adding some of the pics to flickr pretty soon if anyone wants to see - link is off to the right.

We came back home and we were greeted by the smell of cookies baking. My mother-in-law ended up coming up last night and she's staying until tomorrow or Monday. I'm not sure actually. What a nice surprise.

Well, that's all for today. Check on flickr for some pics soon!

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Friday, November 16, 2007

Weekend Plans

Tomorrow, I plan to try to go to a multiples group support meeting in the morning. I'm trying to meet new people, and this seems like a good way to do so. And it will be nice to talk to other twin moms about developmental stages and what not. Should I take into account that they were born at 35 weeks when thinking of developmental stages?

Later in the day tomorrow, Jon and I are taking Benjamin and Ella to meet Santa for the first time. My employer has this event every year - or I should say the employee group does. A question - I always thought when I had kids, I would let them know about Santa but tell them it's a fictional character that is a symbol of the joy of the holiday. But I don't know now - do I let them believe in Santa and then later, they find out it was just mom and dad giving the gifts the whole time? I mean - all of us know that Santa is a fictional character in my family but when I hosted Christmas last year, I still had gifts from Santa.

This question is a small question on the scheme of things, but it's a question I have nonetheless.

Only 3 more hours left to go before I can leave here and some time with Benjamin and Ella! Hopefully, I get to the daycare well before 6 this time (last night, we left here at 4:35 and I got to the day care at 5:55 - way too long of a commute - I'm thinking I should have voted differently on the transportation issue we voted on this month).

One last thing before I go - seriously, who made that comment the other day? Just tell me who you are - person I know IRL or stupid troll?

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Thursday, November 15, 2007

Car Seat Question

Lately, I've been looking at car seats as Benjamin is nearing the end of the time he can fit into the infant car seat and some places are having sales after Thanksgiving, so that seems like a good time to buy! Anyway, I've narrowed it down to a few that seem alright - we just to try them out in our car to see which one fits best. The question Jon asked me last night and what I've been wondering about myself for a while. How are we supposed to carry the babies from our car into the day care when they aren't in the infant car seats anymore and they're not yet walking? Picking them up seems like it would be less of an issue since someone at the day care can help me take the babies out to the car since my babies are the last to leave, but what about drop of when there are other kids there? We certainly don't want to leave one baby in the car...


Response to Comment & Baby Update

To whoever just posted an anon. comment on my last post - are you someone I know IRL or just my "lovely" troll? Fess up please!

I answered you in my comments for that post, but Jon already goes off and plays with his friends every Friday night (though it sounds like he may be taking this Friday off - he's not sure yet. I think it depends on if his mom is coming over or not). My previous comment on this subject was that I wish they weren't playing EVERY Friday night.

I might have commented on this before, but I work all week too and I'd like some hang out with friends time too. I feel like I haven't seen any of them in forever. If I'm awake enough tonight, I may go see a friend play her music at an open mike night, but since I was up at 4 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep until 10 minutes before my alarm - it isn't looking likely...again, but maybe I'll get my 2nd wind by then.

In other news, Benjamin might have an eye infection. Jon called the pediatrician this morning to set up a possible appointment (unless the doctor says what we can do when she talks to Jon). Poor little guy. I hope he's o.k. Since Jon has sick time and can use it for when his kids are sick and I have no sick time (until Feb.) and can't use it for that purpose, I can't take him to the doctor myself.

Both babies woke at 4 this morning. I went to Ella three times to put the pacifier back in her mouth - letting her cry it out was not working. I tried. So on the 4th time visiting their room, I picked her up and brought her to bed with me to sleep until my alarm went off at 5:30. Jon was upstairs with Benjamin at the time. She was so cute laying their next to me. When my alarm went off, I couldn't get up - she was just so cute. I just had to stare at her and her cuteness.

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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Santa, Modeling & More

This Saturday, Benjamin and Ella will have their first photo taken with Santa! My employer has a Santa picture day at the office, so we can avoid all those lines at the mall and we can take our own pictures. We aren't required to buy pictures from the photographer there. I'm curious how Benjamin and Ella will do.

My employer is also looking for baby models for our products - I'm going to go ahead and enter Benjamin and Ella and see what happens. It was not my intention to go searching for modeling gigs for my babies - I just saw this when I came into work yesterday, so I thought we might try it just for this.

Regarding pumping - My goal was to make it, at least, to when the babies were 6 months, but my supply is dwindling that I wonder if I will be able to make it that long. Ever since I started working, my supply has slowly gone down. It kinda makes me sad that I'm not able to give Benjamin & Ella as much as I feel I should.

It makes me sad that I'm never going to have that much time off with my children ever again. I envy the stay-at-home moms now - I didn't think that I ever would, but I do. Of course, I say that now as I'm sitting at work. What I'd really like is a part-time job. If only.

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Tuesday, November 13, 2007

5 month pictures

Happy 5 months, Benjamin and Ella!!!


(they turned 5 months yesterday)

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Monday, November 12, 2007


Got this in an e-mail from - thought it was cute... (comments in bold are mine)

You didn't know becoming a parent meant...
• Stacking today's unread newspaper on top of yesterday's unread newspaper. So many magazines to read - just stacking one on top of the other.
• Eating dinner like you're trying to break a Guinness world record for the most pasta swallowed in the shortest amount of time. Standing up. This is so true. This is what it felt like when I was at home with them when they were younger - trying to eat quickly.
• Letting your partner choose between poop and laundry as a conversation topic. Yep - so who is going to do some laundry and who is going to do the dishes.
• Figuring out how to pee without putting the baby down. This one I've only done once. At the football game, I didn't have anyone to hold Benjamin so I had to pee while holding him in the Bjorn - interesting experience.
• Wearing a bra that looks like something from a 1930s Sears catalogue. I guess my bra does kinda look like that. I could probably go back to my normal bras seeing as I'm not breastfeeding anymore - just pumping.
• Spending three hours getting the baby to sleep and then waking him up two minutes later to make sure he's still breathing. I've done this a few times.
• Forgetting what you were... There is that sleep-deprived daze.


Sunday, November 11, 2007

short post

Today, we went to a belated Halloween party. We had a good time, I think. Both babies had short little naps so they were being a bit cranky tonight when we got home as they didn't get a good nap this afternoon. I learned today that Benjamin and Ella are the last of the childbirth class babies (those that showed up to the party anyway) to roll over. Yes, this made me a bit sad and nervous. My babies have gotten so close, but haven't done it yet. I'll try to post pictures later.

Well, there are other things I want to write about but I don't think I will/should right now.


Saturday, November 10, 2007


So far, Happiness Sold Separately is not what I expected, but so far, it seems like an o.k. book. Hopefully, I can finish it and the other library book by the 24th when they're due! I doubt I will. The only time I have to read is in the vanpool and occasionally at lunch at work. I suppose I could read instead of watching tv...

Right now, Sophie (one of my kitties) is laying on my lap making it hard to type. She wants the love. She definitely has become more affectionate towards me ever since I became pregnant and even more so since the babies came home. I'm not sure if she is just lacking in the love or she just loves me more - probably the former. I guess I won't be leaving the computer for a while - though I really need to get going and get some things done. I need to figure out a dish to bring to a party we're going to tomorrow - any ideas? Something simple. I was thinking a baked pasta dish maybe.

Alright, I'm going to go read some blogs since Sophie isn't letting me get up.

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Friday, November 09, 2007

Icky Dream & more

I had a bad dream last night that Ella started to have seizures and then her face became distorted like one's face would become when looking in a funhouse mirror. I think what caused me to have such a horrible dream was that after I woke up with Ella at 3:45 a.m. (I don't know why she's waking up in the middle of the night these days) and gave her a bit to eat as she seemed to be hungry, I put her down as soon pretty soon after she was done eating and I was afraid she would choke. She's not sleeping on the elevated pillow thing anymore and she still spits up a lot.

She woke up again around 6 this morning. I think Ella woke up even before her 3:45 feeding as I remember Jon coming from downstairs with her as I bringing Benjamin out of his room. Benjamin woke up about 2:30, I think, then again around 6. What can we do to get these babies to sleep all through the night - in ella's case, sleep through the night again? There's a meeting on Monday night with one of the multiples groups I'm involved in that will have a speaker talking about sleep issues. Jon's mom and cousin are visiting on Monday, and since I've never met one of Jon's extended family members, I'm kinda interested in meeting her. It almost seemed like Jon's parents don't talk to their siblings or other family members as I never hear about them - well, hardly ever. We'll see how it goes. I may be able to meet her when I get home from work (yes, I have to work on Monday) and then go to the meeting.

Well, that's all for now

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Thursday, November 08, 2007

Today's post (what a creative title)

I ended up going home early yesterday, and I'm glad I did. I really needed that rest. It felt weird, though, to go home and not go get the babies. I went home and slept for a couple hours before I went to go get Benjamin and Ella. When we got home, we just hung out for a bit. At one point, I was holding Benjamin and Ella was in the bouncy seat in front of us. Ella sneezed, and Benjamin thought that was hilarious apparently because he let out a little chuckle. So adorable!

This morning, I decided to go in a bit later to work again to rest a bit more, but today I was able to make it throughout the whole day. I actually feel a lot better than I did yesterday. I still have a stuffy nose, but I don't have the aches and pains as much as I did yesterday and the day before. Because I went in late, I was able to go with Jon to drop off the babies at daycare. Ella, once again, cried as we were leaving. That makes me so sad. I didn't want to leave them!

One thing that has changed since the babies started day care is that our bed time for them has changed. They used to go to bed between 7:30 and 8, but now, it can be anywhere between 8 and 9 (though Benjamin is still awake and it's 8:53 p.m. as I write this and he isn't showing any signs of wanting to sleep). We're still trying to figure out the new routine.

One year ago yesterday, our lives changed forever - we found out we were pregnant. What a wonderful day that was - the best election day ever!

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Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Blech, Ugh, Grr

Yesterday afternoon, I started to feel crappy, but this morning, I felt o.k. so I just came in to work a bit later than usual. However, now, I’m wishing I had just stayed at home. I feel so incredibly exhausted right now and Jon was very nice in letting me go to sleep early and for taking care of the babies who woke up during the night. Both babies woke up at some point in the night – Ella waited until nearly 4 to do so. Benjamin woke up at midnight or so, I think. I have no idea what kind of cold medication I can take while pumping – we called the pediatrician’s office and they told us what to look for, but we couldn’t find any medication that had what they were talking about (I don’t remember what they said). So because I have a fear of taking something I shouldn’t, I’m taking anything other than ibuprofen for my headache.

So my husband has been playing a game with some of his guy friends (and one girl friend). I thought when he signed up for this they wouldn’t be playing every Friday night, but nope, they’re playing this Friday…again. Don’t get me wrong - I love Ben & Ella and I love to hang out with them, but as they mentioned on Scrubs last week, each parent needs a break. I did have a break last night because I wasn’t feeling so well, so I appreciate that, but it’s not the same. I wonder how some of the other spouses feel about them playing every Friday.

This morning, because I was late, I went with Jon to take Ben & Ella to daycare. Ella started to cry when we were leaving. :-( Jon said that this was the first time that she fussed when he’s left. It was hard to go – especially since she was crying when we left. I’m going to leave a bit early today since there’s a Sonics game tonight – hopefully, I’ll get to the day care well before 6.

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Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Baby Talk and TV

I wonder if anyone still struggling with infertility still reads this blog. I would imagine with all my posts with pictures and videos would scare a lot of people away still going through it. I really didn't mean to cause anyone grief. Sorry. I guess I was just excited to show off Benjamin and Ella.

On that note, if you don't want to hear about babies, you probably should stop reading this post now. And I probably should say that this blog has pretty much become a mom blog as that is all I know right now, so if this hurts you, I am so sorry. Please know that anyone going through infertility, I hurt for you. I wish you the happiness that I have been fortunate enough to obtain.


Jon and I were watching Scrubs the other night. This is a show that I had gotten irritated at with its storyline of two of the characters trying to get pregnant and her going for *the* test after a couple months (or something like that). I continue to watch it though because it can be funny or, in last Thursday's night's show, cry-worthy. On the show, the main character and his pseudo-girlfriend were having a baby and when they had the baby and the baby cried out, it made me and my husband tear up (I wonder if he wants me sharing that with the world). That scene reminded me of the first time I heard Ella cry - right when they took her out of me and announced the baby was a girl. What a wonderful moment that was. When they took out Benjamin, he didn't cry - he was very quiet. All I remember of him is that they announced that he was a big boy (for a twin). In those two minutes in the OR, I became a mother and I cried then and I cried watching that scene because how wonderful is that sound of a baby crying for the first time.

I wish I could give them hugs right now. And although they both woke up at 4 a.m. today and so I've been awake ever since, I love them with all my heart and couldn't imagine life without them.

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Monday, November 05, 2007

Babies in the Fall

Babies in the Fall
Originally uploaded by heathercim
Nice picture of the babies in the leaves on one of their walks with their papa. More pictures on flickr site.

And here's a video of Benjamin laughing!

National Infertility Awareness Week

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. Most people reading this blog already know all about infertility and what it can do to someone going through it and know that things like "just relax" and "just adopt" are not good things to say. However, if there is anyone out there that wants to learn more, please go to the link above - it's to Resolve's website - they are an infertility organiztion.

Or you can read the blogs to those I've linked to off to the right who have gone through infertility or are still on that emotional rollercoaster. There's also a video you can watch that I've linked to off to the right that I found to be a great video to show those who aren't going through it.

I'm sure there are many other places to go, but that's all I'll mention.


Sunday, November 04, 2007

Walks & Pictures

Interesting - mama merit badges...

It's 4:21 on a Sunday afternoon. The weekend is almost over.

The babies and I had 2 good walks today. Once around a track while Jon and a friend ran, and another through a nearby park so another friend could take a family photo of the four of us. Jon says he wants to use the photo for our Christmas card, but I thought our Christmas card would just be a photo of the babies. Do people really want to see us too? Oh, and I thought the babies would be in cute little Christmas outfits too, not in Bjorns.

I'm not sure the photos ending up being all that great since my new glasses have transition lenses, so it looks like I'm wearing sunglasses. I forgot about that since these glasses are so new (got them on Friday) - I should have worn my old glasses.

Well, better go, I've got one fussy baby and I'm sure the other one will be fussy soon. And well, there are chores to do too.

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Saturday, November 03, 2007


Oh, and thanks to OHN on her comment to my post yesterday. That does make me feel better.


Quick Post about Various Things

hmm...what to write about today. I don't really have much time on the weekends to blog so this is going to be a quick post.

The babies' 2nd day at the day care went well. I got there about 15 minutes earlier yesterday than on Thursday. I really appreciate that. They seemed happy to see me and I was happy to see them. I walk in to the house and I hear Ella's little squeal. I come downstairs and see her cute little face looking up at me. So cute. Benjamin was being fed at the time.

Oh, for some silly reason, I think I'm going to have time to read 3 different books in the next few weeks. I borrowed a book from a friend (Lean Mean Thirteen) and a couple from the library (one that I've read about on other blogs (Happiness Sold Separately) and the other because I've read the first 3 of this series (Shopaholic & Baby). If I manage to read these, I'll have something to write about on this blog. :-D

Well, that's it for today.

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Friday, November 02, 2007

Daycare Day 1

Yesterday, Benjamin and Ella had their first day at daycare. And wouldn't you know that traffic ended up sucking again and this time I can blame it all on Bill Clinton and the Sonics. Bill Clinton was in town lecturing and signing his book and the Sonics had their home opener - are the Sonics moving to OK anytime soon like they keep threatening to do?

Anyway, I got there about 5:45-5:50 - just before the 6 p.m. cut-off when the daycare starts charging by the minute! I knocked on the door - I wasn't sure if I should knock or just walk in - it's a home daycare so I knocked and waited for the door to open. I came in and went downstairs to where the daycare is and saw my children being held by the daycare provider and a helper. I said hi to Ella and she smiled so big at me! Aawww!!! I then picked her up and said hi to Benjamin - he just looked at me.

I asked the daycare person how things went and she said that they were good babies. Ella took short little nap and Benjamin took longer naps. Benjamin didn't really cry, while Ella would all of a sudden cry, but would be calmed down when being paid attention to or held. All of this sounds normal for them. Both of them, per Jon, were very interested in their new surroundings. Apparently, there were 4 girls that were super excited that there were TWO babies! So adorable! By the time I got there, there was only one child there.

When we got home, Ella was really tired. It was an exciting day - she probably felt the need to stay awake as much as possible so she didn't miss anything. She took a nap when we got home - a good size one too and she still went to sleep a little before 8 and slept mostly through the night (Jon got up once to give her the pacifier and she went back to sleep).

While Ella slept, Benjamin and I hung out. Benjamin was super excited to tell me all about his day - he couldn't stop talking. I've never seen him talk so much. Usually, Ella is the chatterbox. It was just so cute listening to him tell me all about his day. (Benjamin slept pretty much the entire night too - though he did wake up about 11:30, but fell right back to sleep in my arms. I gave him a pacifier and he went back to sleep).

Later, Ella woke up and Jon and I were changing their diapers, Ella began to tell us all about her day. She is so cute when she gets into chatterbox mode. And if you turn away, she seems to wait until you come back.

Well, that's day 1. I'm a little less anxious about them being at the daycare, but I still wish it was me or Jon that could take care of them. Please, please, please let traffic be great tonight.

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Thursday, November 01, 2007

1st Halloween

Just thought I would write about Benjamin & Ella’s 1st Halloween. They came to visit me at work in their cute little costumes…emphasis on the little when it comes to Benjamin. I got him a 3-6 month cow costume, but he really doesn’t fit into it. He’s a big boy! He’s wearing stuff that says it’s for 9 months (though it’s Car*ters stuff and that seems to mean it goes up to 9 months, not that it starts at 9 months). Anyway, after we visited with people and had some lunch, the babies, Jon and my mom-in-law went to go visit Jon’s work for a bit. Then when I finally got home after a rather long commute home, it was time for trick-or-treaters. We thought of going out around our neighborhood just to show them off, but Benjamin’s costume was off and there was no way I was going to attempt to put it back on him and Jon had promised him he didn’t have to wear it again. Plus, he fell asleep and we had to get stuff ready for their 1st day in daycare. Ella, on the other hand, got her costume back on (Jon had taken it off) and she helped us answer the door. We got a good turn out this year – there weren’t any OMG outfits this year though there were a lot of cuties!
So that’s their first Halloween. We’re going to a late Halloween party on the 11th, so we’ll dress them up again. I went to a store nearby my work and found a costume for Benjamin for $5, so he’ll have something to wear. He’ll be a fire chief (though it looks like a bumblebee costume) (and the costume could double as a sleeping blanket so we’ll get our money’s worth, I think).

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Day 1 at Day Care

My heart is just aching today. Today is Benjamin & Ella's first day at daycare. My husband dropped them off so I didn't have that heartbreak of saying goodbye to them there. I will be picking them up though. With one car, this is going to be interesting. My husband dropped them off then took the car to Northgate where my vanpool meets (I took the bus there). He then took the bus to work from there. I will go find the car (he told me where it's at),then go pick up the babies. He will take the bus home. As soon as we can pay off our Civic, we're getting another car. I'm hoping that our tax refund will take care of that, so it will be another few months.

Anyway, I hope that they do well at the day care. I miss them terribly. When I first came back to work, it was nice to have that break - some adult interaction, but I want to be back home with my babies now. And now, Jon isn't even at home with them. Someone that is essentially a stranger is watching them now. Sure we've met the daycare providers several times, but we still don't know her all that well and neither do Benjamin and Ella.

I wish it was time to go home now - I hope that we have great traffic tonight. I am so incredibly anxious to get them and bring them home.

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