Desperately Seeking Baby...Babies Found

My thoughts on raising twins and a singleton after infertility.

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Turtles and Babies Talking

Over the weekend, I got my haircut. It feels way too short, but thankfully, hair grows. On Saturday, a friend and I walked around Greenlake with Ben & Ella in their new double stroller. It took us a while to get around because we stopped a few times and while stopped, people would come to talk to us about twins, including one lady who is 13 weeks pregnant with twins asking me to tell her something positive. I told her that it is just fun to see them interact with each other. While on the walk, we got to see some turtles. I had never seen turtles at Greenlake before. In fact, the last time I saw a turtle in real life was when we were on a beach on Oahu. And those turtles were HUGE, the ones at Greenlake are little.

And now for some updates on my cuties…

Both Jon and I heard Benjamin say something that sounded an awful lot like “puff” while we were giving them Gerber puffs and later, while watching Ella in her bath playing with a duck, it sounded as if he said “duck”. Words that he says on a regular basis are “mama”, “dada” or “ba”(I think for bottle) or “nuh” (he says this when it’s time for food or when he’s getting tired or upset so it has multiple meanings). I’m sure I’m missing some.

Ella, when she sees one of the kitties, she says a sound that sounds like “keh” – I’m pretty sure she’s trying to say kitty because she says that sound only when she sees one of the kitties. Other words she says are “dada” and occasionally, “mama”. She does more babbling – I have a harder time understanding her babbling than with Benjamin.


Friday, April 25, 2008

Cute Baby Stories & Update

Lately, I've been giving Ben & Ella some Gerber puffs. Ella will eat them (or rather nibble on them) after she picks them up, but Benjamin will find it hilarious to have a puff in each hand and not put them into his mouth. He thinks his parents should do the work of putting the puff into his mouth. Last night, he had two puffs in one hand and one puff in the other and that was just the funniest thing EVER!

This morning, I heard Ella talking and went into their room to find Ella was standing up in her crib (nothing new). She was facing Benjamin and I'm pretty sure trying to get him to wake up so they could talk to each other. Before I went to pick up Ella, I just checked on Benjamin really quick and that wasn't cool. Ella wanted picked up NOW.

On the crawling front, Benjamin is becoming increasingly frustrated that he keeps going backwards. He looked up at me last night like he wanted me to figure it out for him. Poor guy - he'll get there soon enough, I'm sure.


Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Ella & Kitty Food

One thing that I forgot to mention yesterday is that since we have not put the gate back up between our dining area and kitchen, Ella likes to crawl in there and guess what she likes to crawl toward? The kitty food. Ugh! We really need to put that gate back up.

We took it down when we had guests so enough people could watch the babies, but when you're by yourself, it can be a little hard when one baby goes crawling off and the other baby will not sit down no matter how hard you try to get him to do so and he doesn't know how to stand on his own yet.

Well, that's about it.


Monday, April 21, 2008

Baby Stuff & Pictures

We had some wacky weather this past weekend. After having a nice 79 degree day last weekend, this weekend, we got snow! Friday night, we got some fluffy snowflakes coming down and, of course, we went out to take pictures in it (see my flickr site).

So Friday night, we just watched the snow come down. Saturday, we didn't do much of anything except for chores and hang out at home. I think we went on a walk, but it was cold so we didn't stay out too long.

Sunday, Jon went to go get our new double stroller that we had sent to his work and we tested it out that day. I took pictures of that, but I haven't uploaded them yet. During the walk, Ella was playing peek-a-boo with us. It was so cute. Benjamin fell asleep.

Earlier that day, we went to the store and used one of these carts that has a "car" in front of the cart. They were so cute in it. Ella had her hands on her wheel while Benjamin had one hand on the wheel with the other just resting on the door of the car. If only my camera phone wasn't at home charging, I would have taken pictures!

Ella is so funny. She likes to sleep on her knees so her butt is up in the air.

Benjamin is getting closer to getting up on those hands and knees by himself and moving forward. He's gotten up on his hands and knees many times, but when he moves forward, his whole body falls forward.

Along with the snow pictures I mentioned above, there are some other pictures up on flickr - there are some of my baby shower last year that one of the hosts gave to me at a friend's b-day party this year, as well as some of our kitties. And speaking of kitties - Oliver turned 4 over the weekend. Happy birthday to my spaz kitty!

Labels: ,

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Update on my cuties

Benjamin is still working hard on getting up on his hands and knees on his own. When we put him in that position, he will rock back and forth a little bit and I remember Ella doing the same, so it may not be too long before he's crawling around like his sister. We'll see.

That reminds me...last night, Ella went off crawling while I was playing with Benjamin. I got up to go watch her and when she saw Jon, her crawling speeded up to get to him. It was so cute!

Ella has a bit of a yeast infection. Poor girl! Our pediatrician recommended putting Lotrimin on her 4 times a day, letting her have more diaper free time, and not using wipes for a while but a wet washcloth. It seems to be doing better today. Early this morning, she woke up around 3 and we said that if she woke up on her own in the middle of the night, we would change her. So Jon got up to go get her and she thought it was the greatest thing ever to have both of her parents giving her all the attention. She didn't have to share that time with her brother. It was so cute the way she just squealed with delight.

I told one of my bosses about this and she said her youngest daughter (around 2 years old) was so happy one night to have her parents all to herself. She told her mommy to sit to one side of her and her daddy to sit on the other side of her and she had the happiest look on her face. That's about how Ella was like last night.


Good News Today

I've heard two pieces of good news today. One from a support group friend that has hopeful news that she will be adopting a baby through a domestic adoption. Things are still being worked out, but I really hope that this adoption works out. She recently tried surrogacy, but there ended up being some issues with that and that same day learned of this potential for adopting a baby.

The other piece of good news is that a coworker has gotten a referral from Taiwan for a 2 month baby boy! I think I've mentioned him before - he and his wife tried fertility treatments, but unfortunately, nothing worked. They then decided that adoption was the right route for them to take. I am just so happy for them.

The latter adoption is a little sad too because the family giving him up for adoption has 3 kids, but they can't afford a fourth. How sad for them to feel like they have no choice but to give up their child (well, it's sad whenever this happens). And I can't help but wonder how the child will feel learning down the road of the circumstances behind his adoption.

I have no doubt that my coworker and his wife will be wonderful parents to this little boy (who is just one little cutie)! They also have a dossier over in China, so maybe soon, they will have two children like they have wanted for so long. Yay! And, of course, my support group friend and her husband will be wonderful parents!

Labels: ,

Monday, April 14, 2008

Book Club Time!

This month’s book club pick was The Mistress’s Daughter by A.M. Homes. Having not had any experience with adoption, it was a very interesting book to read. It was from an aspect of adoption that I don't hear very often. The words she used to express her feelings and to share this part of her life were wonderful. Thank you for writing this book - I can't imagine that it was easy.

And now onto the questions - I’m having a hard time writing good, coherent answers to these questions, so bear with me! I hope that my answers are o.k.!

1. Why do you think the author's biological father went through the DNA testing if he was still going to go along pretending she didn't exist? How did you react to that emotionally as the reader?

I’m not sure anyone can really answer that question other than the man himself. Part of me thinks it might be because of his wife, but there might have been something else there. As for my reaction, it was amazement. While I understand those who give up a child for adoption as something they think is in the child’s best interest, I don’t understand just cutting off all ties like that especially after he had spent some time with her. Of course, I don’t understand a lot of what people do to each other.

2. Genealogy -- the quest to learn more about her birth family's history -- forms a large part of the latter half of the book. On page 152, the author notes, "I remind myself that the quest to answer the question Who am I? is not unique to the adoptee." How much do you know about your own family history? Is it something that interests you? How has it influenced your decisions related to infertility treatment (if at all)?

A while back, my mother’s side of my family had a reunion and my mom put together a notebook showing who our ancestors are. She got some information, but I really wanted to find out more so I looked into it a bit further and a friend of mine is also helping with this. I just think it is so interesting knowing where your ancestors came from and how they got where they are and what their lives were like (as much as you can know on that last part). I’m a big fan of history so all of this is very interesting to me.
As far as whether it influenced my decisions to infertility treatments, I don’t think it has. My desire to have children was not to continue with any family line (though I certainly thought about how I’d like to give my parents more grandchildren or my nieces and nephews cousins on my side of the family); it was mainly about just my desire to be someone’s mom.

3. On page 150, the author says, "The desire to know oneself and one's history is not always equal to the pain the new information causes." Reading about her sometimes rocky relationship with her birth parents, I scribbled on a sticky note, "Be careful what you wish for." Whatever your views or background regarding adoption, how do you feel about disclosure in cases of adoptions that took place some years ago, when secrecy was the norm? How much openness would you personally be comfortable with in an adoption situation today?

Not having adopted or been adopted, I know I’m not the best person to answer this question. My mother-in-law is an adoptee and one of her daughters is adopted. My sister-in-law knows who her biological parents are, but my mother-in-law doesn’t. I do wonder if my mother-in-law ever had or has the desire to know who her biological parents are. Would she want her biological mother or father (if they are still alive) to come looking for her? I guess my desire to know would be so strong, but again, I’ve never been in this situation. If I had adopted a child, I would think I would want to have an open adoption so my child knows who her biological parents are and would know where they came from, but I know that I would be nervous about that openness just because I’d be afraid my child would find the biological parents better and wish the adoption had never happened. I’m sure that’s irrational thinking, but I know I would have that fear. And that may have been why my first research into adoption was international adoption where the chance of an open adoption is a lot slimmer than a domestic one.

4. Our community often speaks of the injustice of the homestudy process. From our parent-in-waiting eyes, is seems incredibly unfair that some can become parents at the drop of a trou, while infertiles to have to go through the judgments by a third party of their innermost selves to prove themselves worthy. Homes' book, however, shows not the parent perspective but the adopted child's. She talks about the effects of coming into her parents' home just months after their son died, about the burden she felt to heal her family. "I grew up doused in grief." She wonders (a few times) why an agency would give her parents an infant so soon after a child had died. Does reading from the adoptee perspective change your opinion on the homestudy process? Who is responsible for making sure hopeful parents are ready to parent a child borne to others? To what degree should hopeful parents be cleared of their grief, and who should determine this? How should it be determined? Should people stuck in grief NOT pass a homestudy? How should the desires of the hopeful parents be balanced with the rights and needs of the child?

This is so hard to answer. Of course, we shouldn’t just place a child into any home that expresses an interest in raising a child, but it just seems so unfair that so many couples are able to get pregnant at a drop of a hat and go on to abuse or neglect the child while others who can’t get pregnant have to go through so much to get into a position to be a parent. However, the homestudy process is definitely something that needs to be done in order to make sure that the best interests of the child are met. I just don’t know to set the criteria on what is a “good home” and what makes “good” parents. I certainly wouldn’t want the job of making that decision. I did wonder myself why her parents were given an infant so soon after the death of their child, but it would be hard to determine when a good time is to say, “o.k. they’ve grieved enough.” I just don’t even know how that would be determined – each person is so completely different. I wish I could think of a more thoughtful answer to this question, but my words are failing me today.

Hop along to another stop on this blog tour by visiting the main list at You can also sign up for the next book on this online book club: Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen (with author participation!)


Fun in the Sun & Baby Update

Well, Friday night I went off to the library book sale and got myself a few books – a lot of them were on my amazon wish list and I got them for $1.00 each!

Saturday morning, I went to the sale the Eastside multiples group has every 6 months and got my children some summer clothes – and Benjamin some 18 month (yes, 18 months) shirts that will go over his head. Some 12 month stuff works o.k. if it has a lot of buttons – like the button down shirts – but even the onesies or other shirts are getting a little too snug to get on him in that size. That afternoon, we took advantage of the nice weather (supposedly, it got up to around 78 degrees or so) and had a picnic at Magnuson Park and wandered around there for a bit. Here are some pictures that a friend of mine took while were there. I have to point out this one with all four of us though. :-D

Ella had fun climbing all over Kaylee, another friend’s German shepherd, but she did not think the grass was all that fun. It was almost like there was an invisible barrier where the blanket ended and the grass begun. She went on the grass for a little bit, but soon made it clear that she did not like the grass. She did, however, enjoy eating a daisy. I thought she was chewing on a puff, but no, it was a daisy. I should have known it was something besides a puff when she had this disgusted look on her face.

Benjamin had a fun time in the grass - he kicked his legs, pulled up on the grass and stared at the daisies. He enjoyed walking around too. There was a time there he was upset because he was hungry, but I think he had a good time. He even took a little nap (he hadn’t taken a good nap all day, so he was due anyway).

Sunday morning, we took a walk to a park nearby our house - both babies enjoyed swinging in the infant swings, but it started to get too cold so we headed back home. Later that day, Ella went to a few different places with Jon while Benjamin and I hung out at home. We started this plan of on even days, if one of us has to go somewhere, we take the same sex baby, but if it is an odd day, then we take the opposite sex baby. It seems to be working out o.k. Though I didn’t take them to the book sale (near bedtime for them) or to the sale on Saturday (way too crowded to take a baby – though some people did).

In other news – Ella is so funny. I don’t think she likes her knees on the hardwoods so much or she really wants to walk already, but her new way of transportation is to crawl on her hands and feet. I took a few pictures, so hopefully, I’ll upload soon.

Benjamin is also developing a new skill. He’s starting to get up on his hands and knees! He’s pushing that butt up to get up there, so maybe soon, we’ll have two mobile babies! That’ll be interesting times, I’m sure.

Anyway, that’s about all it for now!

Labels: , ,

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Busy Weekend & Update

Things have been really busy at home and at work that I haven’t had a chance to blog about our weekend until now.

Saturday morning, I went off quickly to go to a sale one of the multiples groups I belong to was having. I didn’t end up getting a stroller like I had hoped, but I did get some new toys for them (including an xylophone that I seem to more interested in than Ben & Ella). I also got them bear backpacks – so cute! How could I resist for just $1 each?

After that, we got ourselves ready to go to a friend’s wedding. We stayed through the ceremony and the appetizer part of the reception, but not the meal part. The babies were getting restless and there really wasn’t a good place to let them sit except for our laps and well, that wouldn’t work too well. It was a really sweet ceremony. I was amused by the fact that their exit song was “Sweet Child O’ Mine” by Guns ‘N Roses. I wish I could remember the song that the bride walked down to because it was a really sweet song. The song the bridesmaids walked down to is a favorite of mine – Iz’s version of What a Wonderful World/Somewhere Over the Rainbow. And just so everyone knows – I will get weepy at wedding even if I’m not particularly close to either party.

Anyway, Ben & Ella were mostly good and people kept commenting how well behaved they were. Though it was rather embarrassing that when Ella kept squirming around in my arms that the dress I was wearing would flip open to show a little more of my legs than I would rather show.

Later on that night, Jon’s mom and sister came over to watch Ben & Ella for us as we went to a friend’s concert she was having. Jon was playing guitar and drums for her. If you haven’t listened to her music yet, please do – it is really great. My personal favorites are “Anyone but Allyson” and “Girl I am Inside” from her older stuff and “Backseat Driver” and “Afraid I Won’t Say No” and “Hey Man” from her new stuff . If you are interested in her new CD, let me know or you contact her directly on how to get the CD for yourself. It was a great concert. And afterward, I even did some karaoke!

On Sunday morning, we went off to a friend’s house for a little playdate not only for the children but also for the adults too. :-D The babies played and we each took turns playing Guitar Hero – just so everyone knows – I suck, but I still have a good time playing it.

After that, we tried to get some stuff done around the house and just hung out. I took Monday off so I could clean our upstairs room that desperately needed to be done. Next up, is the downstairs room. As soon as we get some baby clothes out of that room, it will be a little nicer. Oh, and I still need to sell our car seats and double snap ‘n go stroller. I’ve been meaning to put that on craigslist.

And work is just crazy busy, but I had to take a break or I just might go crazy. Tonight, we have a friend coming over with her 2 month old baby – it will be her first time meeting our babies and our first time meeting hers. She’s also going to take some of our boy clothes from us. And that reminds me – some of the 12 month stuff isn’t fitting Benjamin. Either the stuff is shrinking or my son is growing way too fast. Ella is finally wearing 9-12 month clothing. She’s getting to be a great crawler and is now attempting to stand all on her own. Benjamin, I think, got up on his hands and knees yesterday. I say I think because it happened so fast, I just wasn’t sure and he wouldn’t do it again. Stinker. I think I’ve mentioned this before, but he LOVES standing. You’d think he’d learn to pull himself up then, but no, not yet. He finds standing and hitting this little table we have for them hilarious. I’m not sure if it’s the table or the cartoon characters on the table that amuses him so much.

Oh, and one more thing. Ella is very fond of her toothbrush. You try to take it away from her and she screams! If only she was actually brushing her two teeth. We brush her teeth, then give her the toothbrush to “brush” her own teeth. And Ella knows to pick up the finger foods and put it in her mouth. She keeps taking the puffs and chewing on them with her two teeth, and sometimes gets into her mouth. Benjamin will pick it up and put it into the palm of his hand and play with it though I know he knows it’s for eating.

O.K. That’s it for now!

Labels: ,