Desperately Seeking Baby...Babies Found

My thoughts on raising twins and a singleton after infertility.

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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Last Day of National Blog Writing Month

Today is the last day so I can stop blogging now. :-D

Mom went to her doctor appointment today (got in a day earlier than expected). Will start radiation and other medication next week. She will also be having a pet scan done. After 3 months, they'll do another one and see if the treatment is working. If not, move onto something else. Hopefully, she can beat cancer again. I have hope that she will.

I went to a spa party last night in which I was the only participant. I felt compelled to purchase something. I got a couple items - one of which will be a gift.

I didn't get to bed as early as I hoped tonight since I stayed up to watch Glee, then the person who originally sang the song "dog days of summer" was on SNL on my DVR so I listened to that. Now must go to bed and get a minimal amount of sleep again.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Chiropractor & Blech

Went to the chiropractor today - it was just an initial consult so no adjustment done this time. I go back in one week but before that she wants me to have an xray done of my neck to just check it out in case there are any issues. I'll do that sometime this week.

So it looks like Benjamin got sick too. Last night, maybe around 11, he started to throw up and continued off and on until about 3 or so. Nicholas and Ella were coughing a lot, but so far (knock on wood), they have not gotten sick. Jon stayed home with Benjamin today since he has a gazillion sick hours and I have 8 to last me until February (and I only have that since I worked extra last Friday night to make up at least 3 hours so I could keep my hours at 8 rather than 5). Hopefully, I won't need those hours.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

too tired

I'm too tired to blog too much tonight. Stayed up later than I should. I watched a new show called The Walking Dead on AMC with Jon. That is our new show to watch together since Lost is no longer on and True Blood isn't on until next summer. It seems like a good show. We've watched the first two shows so far - I think there are 5 episodes out there now.

Alright, must go to bed so I can go to work. I'm going to my first chiropractic appointment in four years tomorrow - hope it helps out with the back issues. And then later tomorrow night, I'm going to a spa party at a friend's house. Looking forward to that.

sleep now.

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Saturday, November 27, 2010

Harry Potter & Blech

Last night around 9 p.m., my body decided that it didn't agree with something I ate and revolted. So I really didn't go to bed until about 2 and even then I was up every hour. Things seemed to finally quieting down this morning around 8 or 9. I still feel kinda gross but at least I was able to eat a little something and I am able to hold down some liquids.

Thankfully, I was feeling better since I had tickets to go the Harry Potter exhibit at the Pacific Science Center. It was an interesting exhibit. Seeing costumes worn by the actors and props from the movie. On the signs showing the proclamation of things banned had at the very bottom "blah blah blahblah blahablaha" etc. I pointed that out to Kelly who seemed amused by it, as was I. It was then pointed out to people nearby us. It was kinda funny seeing costumes worn during the first or second movies compared to later on - seeing how much the actors have grown over the years.

Soon, I hope to go see the movie.

Now I must go to bed since I had very little sleep last night and I am about to pass out.

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Friday, November 26, 2010


Not much to say today. I got to work at 7 and I'm leaving at 6 and well, there isn't much to say about work at the moment. I just hope the drive back home goes well.

I don't have any cute kid stories to share either.

So today is another random, boring post.


Isn't it annoying when you ask "hey does anyone want to go to this thing with me? I'm open to any time" and many do not respond so I think they don't want to go to this thing. Well, I guess it turns out that they just don't want to go with me because I see facebook posts of people going to said thing. That sure does make me feel good! I'm not saying people have to do everything with me, but it isn't often that I get out and not that often that I ask if anyone wants to do something with me either. And well, if they had said, we are going but we want to go alone or something like that, then I would have been o.k. but no response whatsoever?!? I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does.

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Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

This year for Thanksgiving, we once again spent time at home since I have to work tomorrow and can't go over to Spokane (though with the pass the way it is, I doubt we would have gone anyway). However, we did have some company this year. We invited over our friend Michelle since her sister now lives in NC and thus, not able to join her family for the holiday. Thanks for coming Michelle!!! Thanks for the food, especially the sausage, fruit salad and of course, the brownies.

I am grateful for a lot of things - my family, friends, and kitties. I am grateful to have a job even if I gripe about it sometimes (or a lot). I am grateful to have a house though it seems too small for all of us. I am grateful to be relatively healthy. And much more. I do wish this year would have sucked less and cancer wasn't so prevalent in my life this year, but I know that these can't be helped.

And onto a cute story:
One thing that I've learned that make Ben & Ella laugh is putting together this foam floor puzzle together all wrong. It is just hilarious to see wrong pieces next to each other. And I mean this really cracks them up.

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Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Snomg & 2010, you suck!

Day 3 of Snowpocolypse or Snomg here in Seattle. I actually came into work today. Wasn't too bad, I suppose, driving out there, but I'd rather not, thank you very much. Because I work for a retailer (even though it is the corporate office of said retailer), they will never, ever close the offices...ever. I think even an earthquake would keep it open. The buildings will be destroyed and our recording will still say "the corporate offices are operating as normal".

Anyway, my mom called me last night to tell me they found cancer in her back. She had cancer a few years ago in her breast. I just heard that she will see her oncologist on 12/01/2010 to figure out what the battle plan will be. She will beat it again! Stupid, freakin' cancer.

2010 has been the year of cancer for my family and friends this year. It can please go away now. May 2011 bring joy and happiness and great health for everyone!


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Snow & Suck

Today I stayed home because of the snow - well, really, the ice. Snow isn't the problem - the ice is. I have a huge fear of driving in it and probably the biggest reason I should never move back to Spokane. What is funny is that I will have to use my last sick day and I ended up showing signs of a cold today after I made the decision to stay home due to snow/ice! Is that ironic? I don't know. I will actually try to make up as much time as I can though - I don't know when I'll be able to...maybe Friday. The day I was going to leave early but now may have to end up working a much longer day to make up some hours so I don't have use all of my sick time I have left.

And now to the suck. My mom called me tonight. I was in the bathroom when she first called. She left a message to call her and I could tell by her tone of voice that something was wrong. I called her back and she was on the phone with my grandma and quickly told me the news that they found cancer in her back. She had cancer a few years ago in her breast. She was having pain in her back, went in, had a CT scan and that's when they found it. She will find out tomorrow what the treatment will be.

This year has been one sucky moment after another. I am holding out hope and will pray that everything will be alright. I have to believe that or I may just break down. I simply don't know what I would do without my mom, so I am choosing to believe that she will be o.k. The doctors will treat her, get rid of this cancer (again!) and she will be here for many, many years to come. She has to be. Any prayer for her is greatly appreciated. Thank you!


Monday, November 22, 2010

Snow in Seattle

It's the end of the world! Oh wait, it is just snow. Everything has closed down, it seems like, around here since there is snow on the ground. Now, I really don't like driving in the snow myself but sometimes it seems there is a bit of overkill around here. What is really bad is the ice and I'm worried more about tomorrow morning's commute than tonight's. We'll see how it goes.

Speaking of commuting, the annoying, non-stop talking, know-it-all is back in my vanpool. Hooray! I wonder if he knows it is o.k. not to talk all the time and say annoying stuff. This morning, since there was snow on the roads in Seattle (very little of it at the time and probably is still little but I'm actually in Issaquah), he said "this wasn't supposed to be here". Now, you are probably thinking, that is no big deal, but you don't know this person. Maybe you just have to be in a vanpool with him and you would understand.

In other news, I am going to the Harry Potter Exhibit at the Pacific Science Center this Saturday evening. Kelly has decided it is o.k. to go a second time so she is going with me. :-D Now, I just need to figure out a time and someone to go with me to see Harry Potter. Since I know no one reads this besides my husband, I won't even bother to ask on here if anyone can babysit so I can go see it with Jon (though maybe I kinda just did).

Just looked out my window - it has stopped snowing here but it is sticking to the ground. A coworker said she has 2 inches at her house (she lives here in Issaquah). Hope the commute is not too long. Some in my vanpool want to leave at 3 but that would involve me using vacation or sick time that I have so precious little of until February (was going to use 3 days in December for Christmas so I could cut that down if I need to, I guess. And one sick day left that I saved for just this purpose but would rather use it on a day that looks really bad - like a day I can't even get out of my driveway bad - like 2 years ago).

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Sunday, November 21, 2010

Unexpected potty training

Tonight, I saw Nicholas acting like he was about to poo so I asked him if wanted to sit on potty. He quickly got up and went to potty - paused when I wasn't getting up as fast as he wanted and said to me "pee!". We went into the bathroom and I sat him down on the potty. After a few minutes, he got up and said "I pee". I thought - uh huh...but he did! He went pee!!! Now if only I could get him to go poo so his older siblings will see that and perhaps not want to be outdone by their younger sibling. I don't know how much we are going to actually actively potty train him, but if he asks me, I'll sit him down on the potty.

Earlier today, we went to a support group friend's house for a jewelry party/get-together. She has a new house now, so this was my first time seeing it. We thought that one friend of ours has a McMansion - they should see this house. Only in my dreams would I ever get to live in a place like that. It's huge and so clean. I don't know how she keeps it so clean with 3 young kids - but perhaps being able to spread one's things out helps. It was great seeing everyone again and this time with our kids! Of course, there was one person missing so it wasn't everyone, unfortunately. And with the three kids, there wasn't much time for socialization.

At one point, Ella told me she needed to pee. Nicholas was getting into something so I told her where the potty was and she couldn't get her pants down in time so she peed her pants. She flipped out and I came running in there and saw that and helped her change into new pants. Then I had to go in search of Nicholas again and it took me a while fearing he decided to go down the stairs or up the stairs again on his own (not quite there yet - though it may be more be that I'm not there yet), but he was playing with a Jack in the Box with a friend of ours.

Well, that was our day. Now back to work tomorrow. There were a few snowflakes today but nothing stuck. It is supposed to get rather cold tonight so I'm not looking forward to tomorrow morning. May the roads be o.k.

At least it is only a four day work week. If my work wasn't so annoying and not letting people take Friday off, I would have taken it off and had a three day work week. UGH!!!!!!! Have I mentioned I really, really hate this rule??? I would think as long as you have enough people to cover your department, people should be able to take time off during this month and most of December, but no.

Alright, time to watch something on the tv.

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Saturday, November 20, 2010


Today has been a very long, exhausting day. I get really frustrated when my kids, who know how to talk, can't say what they want. They will either scream or just grunt. It really frustrates me. It makes me wonder if I'm really cut out for this. I just said love you to my kids and Ella yelled at me to go. Not something I particularly want to hear especially after a frustrating few minutes or hours.

Sometimes it makes me jealous of those with just one kid. They have no idea how easy they have it. Sure, raising one child is hard, but that seems like a cakewalk compared to 3 kids - all 3 and under.

I was going to talk about the fun part of the day, but the end part of the day keeps popping back into the forefront. We went to my work to get pictures with Santa. Ella was brave and sat on Santa's lap but the other two refused to be in the picture unless held by a parent so once again, we were in the picture. Then I couldn't get all 3 of them in the same shot for a Christmas card photo so once again, I'll have to split them up.

After that, we came home for lunch then I took the twins to their gymnastics class. They seem to have a good time with it that it is sad that there is only more class left on the first Saturday of December. After the class, I took them to Half Price books just for something to do. I managed to walk out of there without getting a book for myself but I did get books for the twins. A coloring book, that is. With stickers.

Then I made the mistake of taking just Ella with me to the store. We came home and Benjamin was awake but Ella was not. So I took Benjamin inside and took Ella to the store with me once she woke up (well, I thought she was awake but she wasn't so I woke her up when we got to the store). I came home and Benjamin was really upset that he didn't get to go too, so after dinner, we all made a trip to Target. We got them a caterpillar music toy that they love and fight over constantly. I guess we thought this would mean bedtime would go smoother and they would stay in their bed if they had one. They are still in bed...but asking Ella if she wanted lotion on her hands mean her saying yes then refusing to use any of the lotions I offered her. She grunted or just refused the choice by turning her back.

It has been a long day and this is probably just getting to me more because of it being a long day (and tomorrow is going to be busy in the morning too - I really hope they behave themselves since I am taking all 3 with me to a friend's house for a little party (this is a friend from support group and other support group ladies will be there with their kids). I'm taking them on my own, so I really hope they behave and go to the potty when they need the potty. I hope they can give me potty training advice because I need it.

(also, part of my frustration is just me throwing my own little pity party)

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Friday, November 19, 2010

Friday Stories

I get a text from my husband yesterday saying Ella had cut her hair saying "papa, I cut my hair! With scissors!" Umm, what? I immediately asked to see a picture (as I was at work) and couldn't tell where she had cut her hair, thankfully. I asked her where she had cut her hair and she said "in the bathroom." Umm, sweetie, I meant where on your head? She gave no answer.

These days Nicholas wants to be like his brother and sister in another way - he wants to sit on the potty. I asked him last night as I saw him acting like he was going #2 if he wanted to sit on the potty. He said "yep", so he started walking there and wanted me to take off his pants so he could sit down. Nothing happened, but at least, it seems at this point, Nicholas will be easier to train than either of his siblings.

Ben & Ella will go pee in the potty. Sometimes Benjamin has an accident, but it is becoming more rare. Having them go poo is another issue...still. Benjamin seems to do better at it than Ella. I think for him it is that he doesn't want rather than he is scared (which seems to be Ella's reason). Everyone keeps telling me it will happen, but seriously, I feel as if we will have the first kids to never learn to go poo on the potty. I really just don't want to buy pull-ups anymore. We definitely will not be introducing them with Nicholas.

I wish I could have seen Harry Potter last night, but I have to work today. My work can't possibly let people have time off during this month (except for Thanksgiving) because they wouldn't want people to be able to spend time with family members that live elsewhere or to do fun things like go to a midnight showing of Harry Potter (not that I'd be able to stay up that late anyway or that I was invited to go with anyone...though I may end up going to see it by myself anyway since everyone has probably already seen it that would want to see it my little group). Well, enough of that pity party.

Oh, another cute story. Benjamin & Ella have become even closer it seems. I will see them giving each other hugs or wrestling on the floor. I thought it would be Benjamin & Nicholas wrestling, but nope, Ella is doing that too. It is quite cute right now. I need to get another picture of them hugging each other.

Some new pics are at

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Ho hum

Not much to say today either. All three kids went to get flu shots today - for Ben & Ella it was #2 and for Nicholas, it was #1. Nicholas needs to go back in a month for #2. And I should say that Ben & Ella's was a nasal spray not a shot - which I guess is better for them. They won't scream as much with that as they would the shot. I guess Nicholas didn't cry at all with the shot - that is surprising. Jon took all 3 since I'm stuck at work. Blech.

Tonight, the UW have a 5 p.m. game. My vanpool leaves at 4:30 - hopefully, most people will be at UW by the time we leave so the commute isn't as bad as people keep saying it will.

Blogging every day when you really don't have much to say is rather annoying.

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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Bouncy House - Livingroom Version

Ben & Ella decided that they would put all the pillows from the couch onto the floor, along with their blankets, and said that it was their bouncy house. Thankfully, they did not bounce all that much. They also thought it was funny when I was pretending to be a bear (that was last night) and was trying to eat them for my snack.

I have pics on my flickr account -

Short blog post for today. It is bedtime. Perhaps tomorrow I will remember before bedtime. :-D

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Tuesday, November 16, 2010


I came across this quote today - I'd say this is the same for me too.

"Books for me have always been a way to escape. I now consider reading
a good book a sacred indulgence, time alone to be any place I choose.
It is my absolute favorite way to spend time."

— Oprah

One guy in my van asked me if the current book I'm reading (Clockwork Angel) was a Twilight book. I answered that it wasn't, then he asked if I had read those books and I said I had (and honestly after a moment's hesitation of whether I should answer honestly - that's kinda sad).

Anyway, last night I went to my mom's group meeting at the church. We are currently reading through Real Moms, Real Jesus. This was our third meeting. It was a good meeting and I'm glad that the book was suggested to me so we could start this group at our church. I do hope one day that more moms will join us. Ella was not thrilled at all that I was leaving her. It really sucks to leave when your child is that upset that you are leaving. Talk about mommy guilt. But the rest of this week, I have nothing planned (though I'd really like to go see the Harry Potter movie coming out sometime soon).

This weekend, my work is having a Santa picture day again, so we are taking the kids here. I wonder how they will react to Santa this year? 3 1/2 years old and a (nearly) 21 month old. Hmm. We'll see on Saturday morning!

Two songs that have been in my head today:

1 - Bullet with Butterfly Wings (particularly "The world is a vampire" and "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage" parts)

2 - Dora Theme Song - d-d-d-d-Dora, d-d-d-d-Dora, d-d-d-d-Dora, d-d-d-d-Dora! Dora, Dora, Dora the Explorer! Dora! Boots and supercool explorer dora! Grab your backpack! Let's go! Jump in! Vaminos! You can lead the way! Hey! Hey! d-d-d-d-Dora, d-d-d-d-Dora, Swiper no swiping, Swiper no swiping, oh man! Dora the Explorer!

Have I mentioned that Nicholas will say "oh man" and will attempt to sing ABC and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star? It's rather cute.

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Monday, November 15, 2010

Books & Cute Kid Stuff

I'm currently reading book #58 (thanks to goodreads for helping me keep track). My goal for this year was to read 52 books in a year and I've surpassed that - yay me!
Now I'm trying to decide what my goal for next year should be (at least when it comes to books). I'm thinking of possibly reading some of the classics that I haven't read before - maybe 10 classics next year - seems doable. But I've also thought I should just go ahead and read some series I haven't read yet or finish series I haven't done yet - for example, The Time books by Madeleine L'Engle (which might cover classics and series) and the rest of the In Death books by J.D. Robb and a few other series I've been meaning to read. Decisions, decisions.

Any book suggestions out there? My book club is almost ready to select books for next year's list so I'm looking for ideas. I have a couple that I think might be good book club picks. Up next in the book club is "The Thirteenth Tale" by Diane Setterfield. Then "Never Let Me Go" by Kazuo Ishiguro.

This morning, I answer my phone and on the other end is Benjamin singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", then Ella gets on the phone and sings a song that Jon wrote that goes "There, there, mommy. Wonderful mommy. Intelligent, strong, mommy. You are good girl and we're proud of you. We love you mommy" It actually started when the twins were babies in a way to calm them down, so instead of mommy, it would be Ella or Benjamin or Nicholas, but the twins have since added mommy and papa into the mix.

Not a cute story, but will share anyway - Nicholas was playing with Jon this a.m. and fell and got yet another bloody nose. I swear that kid will be the child that gets hurt the most in his effort to keep up with his siblings. Did I mention that Nicholas feel about 3 or so feet off a playground toy to the wood chipped ground below. That was not a fun experience for any of us.

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Sunday, November 14, 2010


Aww, Sunday. Otherwise known as the day before I have to go back to work.

The children are napping. I just got finished cleaning most of the bathroom - the tub still needs to be cleaned. Working on cleaning some laundry - a big pile up as usual. Maybe even bigger than usual since we are trying to get the twins to not use pull-ups at all which results in some poo accidents (pee for Benjamin too). For naptime, I went ahead and let Ella have a pull-up though I probably shouldn't have. Jon is staying home with the kids all week since our daycare is closed and so he is going to try to get the kids to be better at going to the potty. I just don't know if it will work - Ella is afraid of going poo on the potty. She'll go pee, not poo. Benjamin just is rather stubborn when it comes to potty training. He was doing really well until we went over to Spokane one weekend for my aunt's memorial and since then, I feel like we went straight back to the beginning and haven't made any progress since...though the daycare says he is doing well there - just not at home. I don't understand why. I guess they feel like they can get away with more with us maybe?

I don't know - it is just completely frustrating and I feel bad that Jon has to be the one to do this all by himself this week. My work won't allow me to take time off during this month except Thanksgiving so I can't help him. How do we know we are doing the right thing? Are we making the right decision or are we going to cause the kids to get really constipated by not allowing them to use a pull-up? I wish I knew what the right thing to do here is and what I can do to encourage the kids to go on the potty. We tried a "big kid party" on Saturday night and I'm pretty sure that didn't work at all.

Potty training really, really sucks and I hope that other parents out there have a better time with it than we are.

Anyway - this wasn't the post I had thought I was going to write today so I'll try to write that one tomorrow.

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Saturday, November 13, 2010


I'm not sure why I'm so tired today. Maybe there is something wrong with me and I should get a sleep test, but how can I tell when it just may be because I'm not getting the sleep I need. I did wake up quite a bit last night for unknown reasons. Maybe I'm stressing about things. I don't know.

A friend of mine is saying to me I should get a sleep test done and I feel like I should only then I'll know that it is because my children wake up too early or that I get up to go to work so early (and going to bed so late) that is the real culprit.

I'm here at home now with Nicholas - who is supposed to be napping, but he probably isn't. Jon took Ben & Ella to their gymnastics class so I could balance the checkbook - oh joy. I should probably go take a nap now that I finished with the checkbook stuff, but I probably won't because there is a book to read and I want to read it. Plus, I'm a horrible napper. I always seem to wake up with a headache and feel ill the rest of the day.

How lovely - I have the hiccups now.

Well, that was a really big gripe post. Sorry - I get that way when I'm tired.


Friday, November 12, 2010

Mommy Guilt

So about that topic I mentioned in yesterday's post, it was all about mommy guilt. I read this article the other day and it brought up a topic that has been a big one for me ever since having kids. I wanted to write this really great blog post on this, but it turns out, I'm not a writer. Anyway...

I have to work. These days, I would love to stay at home with my kids, but it just isn't an option for me. Someone once said - why would you go through all that (that being IVF) and not stay home with your kids? My answer - because I can't. Financially, it just isn't feasible. Does that make me a worse mother because I have to go to work? That I didn't better plan financially so that I could stay home with my kids? I feel guilt about that every day - that I wasn't better about my money when I was younger. But I don't think I am a worse mother because I am not staying at home with my kids. I do what I have to do and try to make the most of the time with my kids when I am with them (though honestly, at times, they frustrate me). I am so looking forward to taking them to a concert tomorrow where 12 year old kids play the fiddle. Awesome! Then, later, they have their gymnastics class. They are so adorable in that and they love it!

Of course, that doesn't mean that I don't also take time for myself away from work and away from the kids. And yes, I do feel guilt about that too - especially in the beginning. How dare I want time for myself when I went through all of that to have kids? But everyone does need a break - a time to be alone or even have some fun adult time. I started a monthly book club and I started a moms group at my church. These are my outlets.

I still feel the mommy guilt all the time. At book club, if I'm there too long, I start to feel bad because I should be hanging out with my kids. I feel guilt when I pick up my kids at daycare/preschool. I should be the one being with my kids during the day, not them. At the same time, I know they are learning so much at the preschool and they get a chance to play with other kids their own age.

So in the end- mommy guilt will always be there no matter what, but I think it starts to get less and less as time goes on with flare-ups every once in a while.

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Thursday, November 11, 2010


I had a whole other blog topic planned but since it is nearly 9 p.m., it will have to wait until tomorrow...maybe.

This morning, Nicholas thought a good wake up time was about 5:30. While I should be getting up then so I can exercise before leaving for work, I haven't. Hmm, maybe I should start up my other blog again (the one I had for weight loss many years ago) - maybe that would motivate me. Anyway, Nicholas up at 5:30. We tried to ignore for him for a bit hoping he would go back to bed, but no luck. Jon got up to go to the bathroom. I got up to get Nicholas. Upon picking him up, he immediately asks "where papa at?" Perhaps he is so used to Jon getting him in the mornings as I'm usually gone by the time he gets up. I told him where he was and he repeated the word "bafoom". So cute!

Speaking of cute, I guess yesterday morning, as I was driving away, Ben & Ella started singing "bye bye mommy. bye bye mommy. bye bye mommy. We hope you have a nice day!" or something along those lines. As I wasn't here and only heard from Jon after he asked me if I heard their message did I know that they sang to me. The message that he sent somehow didn't get left on my voice mail though so I didn't get to hear it. So sad, but I can imagine the cuteness. I tried to get them to sing again for me, but they only sang a bit.

Today, the kids and Jon came to visit me at work since my workplace doesn't believe in celebrating our vets and Jon's and the daycare/preschool does. It was a nice visit though it means I have to make up some time for the longer than normal lunch. It was nice to show them off. :-D

Well, that's it for now. I think I'll go watch a little tv before going to bed. I should probably start reading that library book that is due in 9 days but I can't motivate myself to do it. Hopefully, I can finish it before next Saturday. :-D It will be a challenge.

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Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Wednesday post

I'm not sure what to write about today.

Oh, last night, Jon had the kids help him with making cookies. Well, they just decorated their own cookies, but they were really enjoying it. Jon just made some sugar cookies and they put frosting on and sprinkles.

Tonight, I really should take them to get some things from Target. I broke our kitty litter scoop and am really needing to get another one before things get a little too desperate. Speaking of Target, did I mention that I fell down on the escalator there while attempting to go back up to get Benjamin? I had Ella & Benjamin with me and Ella came down with me on the escalator but Benjamin let go of my hand and so she stayed at the top. I tried to run back up to get him, but I fell down and scraped up my knee. That was fun. Luckily, a Target employee helped Benjamin down. And unfortunately, some people can be huge asses as I've learned when I'm on my own with the kids and they either act up or something like this happens. I'm beginning to really not like people.

(which reminds me of another rant - perhaps people should be required to take another written driver's test now and again so they can remember what a yield sign means or even more so, what a stop sign means).

Well, that wasn't that exciting of a blog post. Maybe something better will pop into my head later.

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Tuesday, November 09, 2010


I started reading a book this morning called The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven by Kevin Malarkey. I'm about a 1/4 of the way into it. It was hard for me to keep myself from crying in the vanpool as I read it. It is about a 6 year old who was in a bad car accident and his accounts from being in heaven.

There is a line in there about when the mother found out about the boy's accident and she talks about if God brought him into Heaven, she would be o.k. but God would have to give her the strength to be o.k. with that. And I thought - how does one ever have the strength for something like that? I just think of when my grandfather passed away in 2004. I remember thinking and saying that I just wasn't ready for him to die. He would be my first relative to pass away that I had ever really known (my great grandmother died in the late 80s shortly before we moved back to Spokane, but I don't know if I ever really knew her like I did my grandfather). It was really hard for me to experience death and more so, for it to be my grandfather who died. I cannot imagine the amount of strength one would need if it was one's child that was dying.

However, I keep thinking about things that I had heard after my aunt and grandmother died this year and I can only imagine hearing stories like this and having our beliefs is where the strength comes from. My other aunts and my cousin (whose mom it was that passed) told me of things that my aunt had said before she passed. She said that she saw her dad (who died before I was born) walking toward her and that there were a lot of people with him. She said it again some time later and said their dad was even closer this time and so she knew she was about to die and would be going to heaven. When I heard that, I kept thinking, how can one not believe in something after this life? Some may say it is the pain meds causing delusions, but I believe that she was catching her first glimpses of heaven and it made me feel good to know she was going somewhere good - somewhere without pain, but love (this may sound cheesy to some people reading it but feeling like this is what gets me through the days sometimes). It made me feel better with losing my grandfather 6 years prior, my grandmother in March of this year and now my aunt. An aunt I felt closer to than any others since she lived over here in Seattle before moving back to Spokane about 5 years ago. Not only that, but my cousin said that shortly after she passed, he said out loud "mom, if there is anything after this life, please give me a sign" and I believe she did. He went on to say that a hummingbird kept coming up to the window multiple times and just staring into the room at him. While another cousin was outside, this same hummingbird even flew straight at my other cousin in between one of these window times. Both of them felt it was their mom giving them a sign and I believe so too.

I'm thinking that this book is just the right book for me right now after losing 2 family members in one year. It is a hard book to read because it involves a small child and the father blames himself for the accident, but so far, it is a good book. Another book that I enjoyed that dealt with the afterlife is a fiction book called Elsewhere by Gabrielle Zeven. That book was also a bit of a feel good story (though some parts were a little annoying).

(Just a little note - there was one part of the Heaven book that I cannot believe someone actually said to a mother grieving for her child - a paramedic said that he had prayed for her son while on board the helicopter and that she must continue to do so and not let the doctors steer away from her child recovering or else he would die. Who says that? Do this or your child is going to die and it will be your fault. He might not have meant it that way, but that is the way it came across to me.)

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Monday, November 08, 2010

Almost forgot...again

Completely forgot that I never did get around to blogging today, so I suppose I should write something...but what?

Both the Huskies and the Seahawks sucked this week - I think they were going for the "who can suck the most?" award. It's a toss up so they will have to share in the award. Yay for Seattle for winning something! Oh and the Sounders lost too. So woo hoo, we got a trifecta of loss!

On to blogging about the kids -

Nicholas, Benjamin and I stayed home last night while Ella and Jon went to Costco. Only reason Benjamin stayed home was because he wasn't awake yet from his nap. So anyway, after about 3 minutes, Nicholas asks me "where Ewa go?" Me: She went to the store. Just a few minutes later - Nicholas: "where papa go?" Me: Same place as Ella - to the store. He kept asking me these questions until Jon and Ella came home. Benjamin, upon hearing one of these conversations, breaks out in tears and yells because he wanted to go to the store too. Jon, being the nice guy, took Benjamin to Safeway to grab some other things. Nicholas then started asking "where Ben go?" :-D

In case you are wondering, salmon burgers that we bought from the first store above are gross. Having said that, anyone want the rest of them?

Have I mentioned how grown up my boys look after their haircuts? And how cute Ella looks?

I am always amazed at the different words and phrases that my kids know. Sure, the twins are 3 1/2 (almost) and Nicholas 20 months, but still it amazes me. Benjamin just told me that the jump rope isn't touching the floor because he is holding it and it is hanging.

Is anyone reading this blog at all?

Here's to hoping I remember to blog tomorrow.

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Sunday, November 07, 2010

The Only Exception

"The Only Exception" by Paramore is a song I've been listening to a lot these days. I can't say I was in love with it when I first heard it, but it definitely has grown on me. It is a really sweet song.

There have been many songs throughout my life that has made a big impression on me and have some meaning to me. The ones I can think of off the top of my head are "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel (was my favorite for a long time and the song that Jon and I danced to for our first dance at our wedding). Another is "Calling All Angels" by Train. A song I listened to a lot when going through infertility - just listen to the lyrics. And finally the third is, and probably my current favorite of all time, "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol. The lines in this song that really got to me, especially when going through infertility is "All that I am, all that I ever was is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see". LOVE these songs.

Another song I really like these days is "Tighten Up" by The Black Keys - just because it's a fun song and the video is fun too.

I know there are others but I need to go back to finishing up some chores and hopefully getting some reading time in before bed.

(almost forgot to blog today but a person's facebook status reminded me). :-D

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Saturday, November 06, 2010

Haircut time

As I write this, Nicholas is screaming because I took away the U.S. Maps puzzle from him - there are too many small pieces for him. I just don't trust him not to put the puzzle pieces in his mouth. And just as I finish this, he stopped crying because his found his milk cup.

The twins are busy watching Dora - their favorite show. And this show has baby twins - I wonder if they like that part. They just went through a pinata forest - wouldn't that be nice?

Well, today, we took the kids to get their haircut. This was Nicholas's first official haircut. See pics at

He did quite well with getting his haircut and looks so grownup now! Ella got a trim while Benjamin got a bigger haircut. He was in desperate need of a haircut, as was Nicholas. I didn't take any after shots of them yet, but I will.

After that, as a treat, we took them to get a donut. Then we went off to Target to get some things. We came back and I went off to meet Ally for lunch at Panera. I love the sandwiches there. Yum. Their bagels are good too. :-D Thanks Ally for lunch!
I came back and the twins went to their third gymnastics class with Jon. I stayed home with Nicholas as he took a nap and I cleaned some laundry (does the laundry pile ever go away?). I also watched the Huskies lose to the Ducks (no surprise there and I think they played like they expected to lose big time). While watching the game, I also read my book.

Well, that's about it for our day. Oh, the twins also went to the King County Library to see a juggler, I guess.

I will do my best to remember to blog tomorrow...

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Friday, November 05, 2010


I don't have much time to blog today since I spent most of my lunch hour reading a book (such a fun series by Gail Carriger. The first one was called Soulless and I am currently reading Changeless.)

Anyway, all three of my children were awake this morning when I left for work. It depends on whether I get to see them before I leave for work or not. Nicholas didn't seem at all pleased that he was woken up by his brother. Benjamin came out of his room yelling for me - I think he must have sensed I was about to leave because I was within seconds of leaving the house. With all three waking, I ended up leaving a bit later than usual but still thankfully made it to the vanpool meeting spot before they left. It was nice to see them this morning although too briefly. I only hope they aren't very cranky tonight when I pick them up and during the day either - don't want the daycare/preschool to want them to leave! I hope that the commute tonight isn't as bad as last night - took us an hour to get back to our meeting spot. Usually, we get can there in 40 minutes at night (I do kinda wonder how the traffic will be the night the Huskies play at 5 p.m. on a Thursday - thankfully, Jon will be home with the kids since the daycare/preschool is closed that week so I won't have to feel rushed to get home).

Speaking of the Huskies, they play the Oregon Ducks tomorrow. I'm afraid to watch. It may be an ugly game - for the Huskies, at least. Who knows, maybe they'll surprise us. Hahahahahahahaha. A coworker's husband asked if I wanted to bet on the game and I laughed.

Tomorrow morning, I am finally taking all kids to get their hair cut. It has been a long time coming. For Nicholas, it will be his first haircut...ever. I've been putting it off because I like his curls so much, but I suppose since he is 20 months,it is time to let the curls go. I'm sure he will look just as cute with some short boy cut.

Alright, enough ramblings for today. I wrote more than I thought I would! Don't you feel lucky?!?!


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Thursday, November 04, 2010


Three stories have caught my eye in the last couple days (well, more than this, but I'm only to going to talk about three of them...for now).

The first has to do with a librarian in Nebraska being fired for wanting to teach LEGAL immigrants English. I don't understand this at all. Aren't there people in various states wanting English to be the official language of a state (I think there was one state that had this or something similar on their ballot)? What is the big deal? They are LEGAL immigrants who want to learn English!

The second is Senator McConnell saying the GOP goal is to make sure Obama is a one term president. I REALLY don't think that a majority of people voted you into office so you can make sure nothing gets done in DC. Seriously - a majority of people want to see politicians on both side of the aisles get along and get things done to get people working again and to get the economy move its way back up even more. They don't want you to say no to every thing that the President wants to get done no more than they want the President to say no to everything that you want to get done. This article says it for me much better. A Rally to Restore Sanity happened for a reason - because people want our politicians and the pundits to be civil to one another, be reasonable and most of all, act like sane human beings.

Also, I'm tired of either party saying that they have a mandate or it is a referendum on the other party when they win. That's all on that for now.

And voters in my state voted down privatization of alcohol. I don't understand this at all.


Wednesday, November 03, 2010

One Thing

I was just washing my hands in the nice warm water and it made me think of a nice warm shower and that then reminded me of my time in the hospital. Why? Because if there is one thing that I miss from being in the hospital when I was pregnant with the twins - it's the jacuzzi. It felt so nice on my back and it was nice and warm. Oh, to have a jacuzzi. I can dream.

Anyway, last night the kids wanted to go to the park and well, normally I would take them, but it is already starting to get dark by the time I get them. We would be at the park for maybe 20 minutes before the sun went down...which, I guess, is at least, a bit of exercise, but my kids would want to stay even after the sun went down. So we went home instead - I feel bad about that because what do we do when get home? I let them watch 1/2 hour of tv while I make dinner (and my lunch for the next couple days). I need an indoor place close by to take them to when the weather is icky and dark.

As soon as we get home, Ella wants to put on her jammies. Not only that, she wants to put on a pull up. It frustrates me - not the jammies, but the pull up. I've decided I'm not even introducing them to Nicholas even if we have some extra 2T size for him to wear. It definitely prolongs things. So, for those of you who haven't gone through the potty training exercise - don't use them. Just get some waterproof underwear that they can wear.

I also feel that because the daycare wants Benjamin in pullups that he has regressed. He used to be good at least going pee - now, he just seems lazy about it. I told them that this is going to stop. As soon as we get home, it's to the potty and Benjamin is putting on underwear. If they want to watch a show, this is what they must do. And no more stickers for going pee - it's all for poo. However, I've tried bribing them with gifts and that just doesn't work. Although, I've heard you have to get the toy, let them play with it once,then put it back up until they start going potty. I'm just not certain that will work for my kids. Potty training is seriously the worst part of parenting so far. Sure, in the beginning, I was pulling out my hair because my infant twins were crying and I couldn't figure out why, but that seems like a cakewalk compared to this. I seriously want to throw in the towel sometimes and wonder what I was thinking. Of course, soon after that, my kids do or say something completely adorable and then I remember. The good times do certainly outweigh the bad.

Oh, and one more thing - blech on the election. People are so irritating. We'll just keeping on this ride of back and forth for the rest of time. And WTH people in WA state!?!?! Right now, I-1100 is losing! I. Just. Don't. Understand!!! (for those outside our state - I-1100 would have privatized spirits sales and done away with some regulations too that really shouldn't be there.)

Alright, back to work. Until tomorrow.

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Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Trick or Treat again?

Last night, I went to go pick up the kids. They wanted to go to the park - well, it was wet and it was already getting quite dark, so I said no. Ella then quietly asked me something. I couldn't hear her. She repeated a few times but just as quietly. I asked to say it louder. Benjamin then piped up and said, a little louder, but still quietly, that they wanted to go trick or treat again. I then had the joy of trying to explain to them that we couldn't do that tonight and you only did that on Halloween. They screamed "NO!" but I went on explaining why. I think they get it now...maybe.

Nicholas is quite the cutie. He is saying so many different words and even making some good sentences. He told me last night that I had Ella's pants in my hand (he said "that Ewa pant"). He was sitting on the couch the other day and yelling for papa. When Jon responded, he yelled out papa again. It was just his facial expression as he did that.

I asked Ben & Ella last night if they will cry when they sit on Santa's lap - they told me no. We'll see about that. My work has the annual Santa pics on 11/20 this year so we'll test this answer out then.

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Monday, November 01, 2010

Halloween 2010 & Rally to Restore Sanity

This past Saturday, my husband and I took the 3 kids to downtown Seattle for our city's version of the Rally to Restore Sanity. We didn't stay too long with Jon being sick and 3 year olds and a 20 month old not so interested in it. We looked at some of the signs and listened to a bit, but then just headed right back home and watched the rest of the DC rally on tv.

Later that day, I took the twins to their gymnastics class. They are continuing to love it. This time, they got to do this walk on the parallel bars. See my pics at They had a great time.

Oh, and the previous night, we took the kids to a little Halloween play time at the Northgate community center. They seemed to enjoy themselves and we'll probably go again next year. This year, our friend came and brought his 10 month old baby with him!

Then came Halloween. This year, we decided to take the kids out for their first real trick or treating. They seemed to enjoy it - they especially liked the candy part of it. I took a picture of the three of them in their costume, but it looks like I failed to put on flickr so I'll do that later. Nicholas was a monkey. Ella was a fairy princess. Benjamin was a pirate. They got to wear their costumes to preschool today for a little party.I can't wait to hear how that went.

Halloween party idea - we were invited to a few Halloween parties but two of them started at 9 p.m. (that is just too late for me - I went to bed about 9:15-9:30 both Friday and Saturday - I was that tired). We also couldn't go to friend's party yesterday afternoon due to naptime,then when they woke up, it was nearly time to trick or treat. I bring this up for two reasons: 1) I am sorry to those of you who invited us but we were unable to come. 2) I think we need a parent Halloween party that starts around 5 and lasts until 8, children are invited, and it isn't on Halloween. I think I'll need to plan one for next year. People without kids can come too - I just want a party that starts earlier for those of us who pass out at 9 p.m.

And one final note - Happy birthday to my dad - he probably won't ever see this, but we did send him a video of the kids singing happy birthday to him. :-D

That's it for today. I'm trying to write a post for every day in November - we'll see how that goes.

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