Ramblings...again

I came across this quote today - I'd say this is the same for me too.

"Books for me have always been a way to escape. I now consider reading
a good book a sacred indulgence, time alone to be any place I choose.
It is my absolute favorite way to spend time."

— Oprah


One guy in my van asked me if the current book I'm reading (Clockwork Angel) was a Twilight book. I answered that it wasn't, then he asked if I had read those books and I said I had (and honestly after a moment's hesitation of whether I should answer honestly - that's kinda sad).

Anyway, last night I went to my mom's group meeting at the church. We are currently reading through Real Moms, Real Jesus. This was our third meeting. It was a good meeting and I'm glad that the book was suggested to me so we could start this group at our church. I do hope one day that more moms will join us. Ella was not thrilled at all that I was leaving her. It really sucks to leave when your child is that upset that you are leaving. Talk about mommy guilt. But the rest of this week, I have nothing planned (though I'd really like to go see the Harry Potter movie coming out sometime soon).

This weekend, my work is having a Santa picture day again, so we are taking the kids here. I wonder how they will react to Santa this year? 3 1/2 years old and a (nearly) 21 month old. Hmm. We'll see on Saturday morning!

Two songs that have been in my head today:

1 - Bullet with Butterfly Wings (particularly "The world is a vampire" and "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage" parts)

2 - Dora Theme Song - d-d-d-d-Dora, d-d-d-d-Dora, d-d-d-d-Dora, d-d-d-d-Dora! Dora, Dora, Dora the Explorer! Dora! Boots and supercool explorer dora! Grab your backpack! Let's go! Jump in! Vaminos! You can lead the way! Hey! Hey! d-d-d-d-Dora, d-d-d-d-Dora, Swiper no swiping, Swiper no swiping, oh man! Dora the Explorer!

Have I mentioned that Nicholas will say "oh man" and will attempt to sing ABC and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star? It's rather cute.

Just a few things

Today and yesterday, I stayed at home with the kids. Yesterday, mainly b/c Benjamin was sick and today, b/c I'm a chicken when it comes to driving in the ice all the way to my work (~28 miles away each way). I'm too nervous about hurting the baby with the amount of stress white knuckle driving would bring me. I was supposed to have an OB appointment this morning, but it was cancelled and they said they're opening at 10, but they haven't yet.

Anyway, so we just hung out yesterday and saw how bad it got over where almost my entire family lives - over in Spokane. 21 inches officially is what I hear. Here, I maybe got 3-4 inches.

Some good things to happen while I've been home is that I learned Ella knows how to give a little close mouthed kiss. She kept coming up to me to give me a hug, then she gave me a kiss. So. Cute. Benjamin's favorite word of the day yesterday was mommy. :-D

I do have to admit that watching them on my own while 29 weeks pregnant is a bit of a challenge and I get tired easily, but it's been fun spending the day with them.

I just called OB's office and all of their lines are busy. I wonder when I'm going to be able to reschedule my appointment. I was supposed to have the FFN test again, the diabetes test and possibly an ultrasound. I find it funny that I get a recorded message from the OB's office this morning saying that they were closed - I got this phone call at 9:10 - 30 minutes after when my appointment was set to begin. Nice timing. Good thing I called the night before.

And this weekend is set to bring even more bad weather - not sure when I'm supposed to get my Christmas shopping done and even if I'll make into work on Monday (and I really need to).

17 months!

Today, Ben & Ella are 17 months. They are such cuties.

Yesterday, they came to visit me at work along with their papa. We had some lunch and they enjoyed walking down the hallways. At one point, Ella and I were a bit ahead of Benjamin and Jon and when Benjamin turned the corner to where we were, he smiled and started running toward me with his arms raised. So cute! Ella saw him and started waving hi to him. Cuteness!

When I first went out to the car to meet them, Ella saw me and started clapping and squealing. It is so nice to get that kind of reaction.

Everyone remarked at how big they've become since the last time they saw them in person (which was 5 months ago today on their birthday). My sweeties are growing up on me! I love them so much!!!

Last night, I heard Benjamin say for the first time "hi" - he waves, but I've never heard him say hi before. Ella said "mommy" the other day - usually she says 'mom' or 'momma'. :-D Both of them like to read books - sometimes by themselves or sometimes with a parent (though Ella more so with a parent). Oh, and Benjamin and Ella both know how to nod their head yes or no and will even trick us sometimes with their answers to certain questions. Ella is busy teething another tooth while Benjamin seems to have just 4 still. I'm sure there are other things but I'll have to write about them later (or you can check out Jon's blog).

In other news, we bought a minivan last week. Traded in our cute little Civic for a minivan. Was able to get a good deal on Civic to mostly pay for the cost of the minivan. It's a 2006 Dodge Caravan with 22,000 miles on it.

Tonight, we have some people from the church we have joined coming over for small group. It will be nice to have it our place so Ben & Ella will be more comfortable with not seeing us in their eyesight at every moment. Though even when we are in their eyesight, it doesn't matter to Ella, we must be holding her when there are strangers around.

Sleepless nights & Pregnancy Stuff

So I just need to say that having Jon away for one night was not something that I couldn't handle. I feel like my other post made it sound like that. It would have preferable, however, that I had not come down with a cold and felt achy all over the very night that this was taking place, but that's just the way things happened. I'm afraid that I did put my kids to bed a little earlier that night just so I could go to bed earlier once I cleaned dishes, etc. It wasn't that much earlier - only 10-15 minutes.

The rest of this post is rather boring. I'm just writing it so I can remember how things were going in a particular point in the pregnancy.

Anyway, so that night, I didn't sleep well at all. Actually, for the past few nights, I haven't been sleeping all that well. I keep waking up due to bladder issues or being uncomfortable or just a paranoid fear that I have that something I'm doing is causing me to hurt the baby (please tell me I have nothing to worry about and that everything will be o.k. Is it 09/26 yet so I can go to the OB for that reassurance everything is o.k.?). And just as I was falling asleep, Benjamin woke up screaming. I stayed in bed a bit (15 seconds) hoping he would calm himself down, but nope. Thankfully, he wasn't having another night terror so I was able to calm him down quickly by walking around with him for a bit before getting him back in bed. Then, Ella woke up around 2 or 3 a.m. - thankfully, she calmed herself down - perhaps by finding the pacifier and sticking it in her mouth. So that night, not a peaceful one.

I woke up that morning around 5 or so and couldn't get back to sleep so I laid in bed until I heard Ella moving around and talking in her bed. I went to go get ready for the day before going to get her and have I mentioned that I hate brushing my teeth? Brushing led to gagging which led to throwing up. I finally got myself together enough to go get Ella, then a bit later, Benjamin once he woke up. We went to the doctor. I took the kids to daycare and headed to work. As I headed to work, I knew I should have stayed home but there is this big thing I'm working on that needs to be done soon so I headed in. When I got there, I found that there wasn't anything I could do on that project so I went home after responding to a few e-mails. All that gas for about 2 hours at work.

My plan was to sleep for a while, then go get Ben & Ella. I couldn't fall asleep so I ended up watching the finale of The Office (finally!) and a few other shows (started watching Chelsea Lately - they can be mean on there sometimes). That night, to help with the sleepless nights, I took a Benadryl pill. I felt rather anxious about taking it though the OB's office told me it would be o.k. I'm just nervous to take anything like that while pregnant. And, of course, I start feeling some pressure in my cervix this morning so I'm even more nervous about taking another pill tonight. Plus, those pills make me incredibly groggy the next day. It took me forever to get up, and I still feel very tired.

Well, that's it. Other than the above, I've been feeling o.k. with this pregnancy. I just want it to be next Friday so I can see the OB and we can hear the baby's heartbeat again. I keep telling myself we should think of baby names, but then I say we should wait until after the next appointment so we know everything is still o.k. I can't help my paranoia when it comes to the pregnancy.

Appointment Today

Caution - baby talk ahead..though there normally is on this blog, but just another warning.


In about 2 hours, I'll be at the ultrasound clinic for the NT scan. In about 2 hours, I'll know whether my fears are real or irrational. I'm hoping the latter. I pray for the latter. Every few days, I seem to have this fear that the baby isn't o.k. One day this past week, I had a breakdown convinced that the dream I had of losing the baby was real. And I wasn't where my husband was and I wished he was there to calm me down.

Lately, there have been some things going on with me (I don't feel comfortable going into detail here...not yet...trying to find the right words) that have caused me to not feel all that happy about things. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy about being pregnant again and happy about having another child. It just feels like...I don't know - where are the right words when you need them?

I think what makes this difficult for me to find the right words is because I'm not sure where I belong. I don't know if I can count myself in the infertile world anymore and yet, I don't feel like I belong in the fertile world either. So who do I talk to? Jon thinks I should visit a therapist and perhaps I should. I haven't seen a therapist since the first weeks of my support group (I plan to tell them today if everything goes well). Looking at my past posts, it seems one day I can be happy and so full of joy and the next, I'm at the opposite end.

Anyway, I hope everything goes well today. I have the appointment at 2:45 (really 3, but need to be there at 2:45) and my OB appointment at 4:10. I'll update as soon as I can.

Insurance Coverage of Infertility Treatments

I was just reading this blog entry on insurance coverage of infertility treatments. It does anger me a bit to read about such things. If insurance covered this, the whole thing would cost so much less money. It's frustrating. If clinics are willing to take so little, why can't they just charge that low amount instead of making us "bend over" as the blog author says.

And I'm sure it's like this for so many different types of other things that aren't covered by insurance or for those who don't have insurance at all to cover even the routine check-ups. Just crazy.

Guilt

As I was thinking of our plans for the weekend, I just started feeling so incredibly guilty for leaving Ben & Ella for 3 nights and 4 days in a couple weeks to go to Vegas. I hardly get to see them during the week, so I try to spend as much time as I can with them during the weekend so it makes it hard to plan time with friends if those plans involve events that are not toddler friendly. This, of course, leads to me feeling as if I'm losing friendships and my whole life will be my job and my family and that's it. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore my children and I'm feeling good about having another child (anxiously waiting for August 22 for the NT scan). I wouldn't trade them for anything, but one needs friends too, I think. So I guess the trip to Vegas will be good for me.

This weekend, my plans include going on a date with my husband (something we haven't done in a while) - the date is during the day so I'll miss some time with my children. I'm looking forward to the date, but because of the date, however, my other plans for the weekend must include my children. I want to be around them as much as possible before they don't want to be around me anymore, and just a few hours on Saturday is all I can spare.

We were going to have a playdate on Saturday with an ex-coworker and her child, but unfortunately, she couldn't get together due to a last minute change in plans so the lunch date with my husband is now happening. Yay for lunch dates with hubbies!

Twitter

One more thing - if anyone is using twitter, let me know! I can be found here.

Toddler Stories...

I have a few cute stories to share about my two cute toddlers...

For Ella -

The other day, she went to this little activity table we have for them and started playing the music. She would stand there and dance, lifting feet up to do so. When the music stopped, she would just start it again. Cuteness!

While at Cos&tco on Friday, Benjamin started to cough. At home, when one of them coughs, I pat them on the back. Well, while shopping, Benjamin started to cough and Ella started to pat him on the back.

Then yesterday, he was fussy about something. Most likely how freaking hot it was, but maybe something else when Ella goes over to him and pats him on the head and talks to him in this high pitched voice. What a caring little girl.

Ella likes to "help" fold the laundry. The other day, she took two pieces of laundry and started to walk away with it while shaking it in her hands.

For Benjamin -

His tooth is starting to pop through even more - you can actually see it now rather than just feel it. There might be the other one next to this one coming through too. He was fussy last night - a combination of heat and teething, I think.

Lately, Benjamin has been saying something that sounds a lot like "all done" or "done". The other day, he said it and I asked, "you're all done?" and he just smiled as if he was so happy I understood him! He also says "cat" rather clearly sometimes. It's funny that he picked up "cat" and Ella picked up "kitty" (or the way she says it is "Keh".

We bought a CR-V over the weekend though I'm wondering if we should have got a minivan...you know, in case a miracle happens ever in the future.

Weekend - Parades and Teething

We actually had some nice weather for the beginning of summer! June-uary (as it’s been called around here) went away for a little bit for the weekend (it’s a bit chilly out today though the weather said it would be warmer and what did I put on my children? Shorts (Benjamin) and a cute little skirt (Ella). Ugh. Actually, Benjamin wasn’t awake when I left, so I assume Jon dressed Benjamin in his Mariner outfit (we still support them though they suck)). It was nice that it was warm for the summer solstice parade in Fremont on Saturday (I’m sure all the naked bicyclists appreciate that too). It was my first time going to that parade though I’ve lived in Seattle for nearly 15 years!

Anyway, in other news, it looks like Benjamin may be popping a tooth out soon. He’s had a bit of a fever and some diarrhea of which many have told me comes with teething for some babies. Ella also had a bit of a fever too, but she wouldn’t let me check to see if there were any teeth coming through up top. Benjamin, actually, didn’t like me touching his gums either, but I did, and I noticed a little ridge poking through. Poor guy has been Mr. Cranky over the past few days because of it.

7 Random Things Meme

I was tagged by a couple bloggers to do this meme – Shannon and Alli. I'm just now getting around to doing it.



7 random things about me:



1. Since it's snowing outside right now (or at least it was when I first wrote this on Friday, March 28), I thought I would say I like to see the snow come down, but I don't like so much being out in it. I really don't like the cold all that much. However, I will go out in the snow if my children want to.

2. I work around 24 miles away from my home. I really wished I either lived closer to work or worked closer to home. Since I doubt I'll be able to afford a house in the city I work in, I'll have to find a job closer to home. Someday I will get my resume updated. I guess it isn't that much of a priority. I do like my job most days (though not today so much).

3. Like a coworker of mine, I'm starting to want to read books, and then quickly watch the movie that was based on the book to do a comparison. The longer I wait, the more likely I'll forget certain events in the book. That may be a good thing though. Last night, I watched The Nanny Diaries. I had read that book about 3 years ago.

4. My goal for this year is to read 52 books. So far, I'm on track to make that happen. Right now, I'm reading this month's book club pick of the Barren Bitches Book Brigade – The Mistress's Daughter by A.M. Homes. I'm about halfway through it already – it goes by rather fast. Any recommendations for books to read?

5. I have ganglion cysts in both of my wrists – thankfully, neither one is currently bothering me.

6. I like to check the traffic before I go home just to have a rough idea how long the commute might be, but I don't really need to listen to it on my way home. The main driver of my vanpool seems obsessed with listening to the traffic – which means he turns on the radio every 10 minutes to listen to it "on the 4s". Sometimes he keeps the radio on for a while and I start to listen to a story, then he'll turn it off right in the middle of the story. It drives me crazy! Speaking of my vanpool – we have a bigger van these days which means when it is full, we are no longer packed in there like sardines. Yay!

7. I like basketball o.k., but I really don’t get into to it that much until March Madness rolls around. For some reason, I just get all caught up in it. And how great is it that for the first time in the history of the tournament, the four #1 seeds are meeting in the Final Four! My husband wants me to root for UNC because his boss is a HUGE Tarheel fan, but I may have to root for a Pac-10 team – UCLA! However, I did fill out a bracket and had UNC winning the whole thing against UCLA.

I'm not going to tag anyone in particular today - if you want to complete it, it would be fun to read more about you!

Oh, and Alli, my homepage at home is news.google.com. :-D

The Sippy Cup And Solid Food Adventure Continues

I gave Benjamin and Ella sippy cups and some little pieces of peaches last night. Benjamin thought the sippy cup was hilarious. I would put it up to his mouth to show him that it was to drink from and he just thought that was funny. Was he thinking, 'silly mommy, you don't drink from this. This isn't a bottle!"? Ella at least picked up the cup and put it into her mouth - she hasn't quite figured out that she needs to lift it in order to drink from it though.

As far as the peaches. They both picked up the pieces, but only Ella put it into her mouth...and promptly spit it back out while giving this disgusted look. Benjamin tried to pick it up but got bored after a minute (to be fair, the pieces I gave them were quite small - I was nervous about possible choking - so that could be the issue). I put the peaches into Benjamin's mouth and he gave the disgusted look to but he, at least, munched on it and swallowed the pieces. We'll try again tonight with the sippy cups and the pieces of food.

Not much else going on besides that.

I do have a question for those who have children - do you ever feel that once you have children people think that you no longer want or can do certain things that you did before you had children? I'm getting that feeling these days.

Felt the need to write this...

A while back, I came across a blog that was all about putting down people who did any type of ART, especially if they used donor eggs or sperm (I'm sure some of you may have heard of this blog). Against my better judgment, I have to read at what craziness she writes. I guess it's like looking at the car wreck on the side of the freeway - you can't help but to look.

Anyway, today she's irritated me more so than before by something that I've heard numerous times that those who use ART are being selfish, self-centered or lack empathy. O.K. I haven't heard the lack of empathy part before - how in the world do any of us lack empathy? The infertile community is a wonderful group of women and men who have nothing but empathy for others. We support each other through so much - I just don't know where she's coming from on that one and I just don't know how to even respond to her - it's just unbelievable the things she says.

And the selfish and self-centered - I've heard this before. This statement usually comes around the time someone says to infertile couples to "just adopt" because we all know that it should rest on infertile couples to adopt while fertile couples shouldn't have to deal with such things. If infertile people are selfish and self-centered for wanting to have children and thus, use ART to get there, I would think that anyone who chooses to have sex to become pregnant are also selfish and self-centered.

I don't consider having children to be a selfish and self-centered thing to do. If anything, it seems like you're being anything but selfish and self-centered as you are devoting your life to another human being and putting their needs above your own. Is that really selfish and self-centered?

Babies & Parking

I got an e-mail today saying my babies are 35 weeks as of yesterday. Huh - I was pregnant for 35 weeks. My babies have been out in this world a day longer than I was pregnant with them.

I came across something today in which people were complaining about seemingly non-disabled persons parking in disabled parking spots. I guess some people don't realize that sometimes the disability isn't readily seen. Anyway, I bring it up because someone then commented that parking for pregnang women (aka stork parking) should go away. I don't see stork parking in too many places, and I didn't use that parking until I was further along in my pregnancy. Sure, I joked about using it when I had just found out I was pregnant, but I wasn't going to use it since I had no problems walking. However, later on in the pregnancy, it became hard to walk around. I remember going to IKEA once and holy crap, was that a bad idea. I had to rest so often. So, I'm thinking this person has never been pregnant.

Things I've Been Meaning To Blog About

Some dos and donts with babies. Funny. :-D

I can't decide if this is a good idea or a silly one. It's great because it would keep the baby's head safe, but I fear I would be seen as a paranoid mom. What do others think?

Speaking of being paranoid, look at all these places you'll find germs. I never really thought about the bottom of my handbag being a place, but it certainly makes sense.

A 2007 Meme

Saw this on another blog and felt the need to do it too...

1) What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?

Gave birth to 2 babies. Lived in a hospital for 5 weeks 2 days.

2) Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't think I made any for 2007.

3) Did anyone close to you give birth in 2007?
Yes. Me and most of my support group.

4)Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5) What countries did you visit?
I did not have a chance for any world travel in 2007, and most likely, not for a while to come.

6) What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
Another car. A clean house.

7) What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Feb. 12 - the day we found out we were having a boy and a girl
May 9 - the day I entered the hospital for my 5 week stay
June 12 - the day the babies were born
June 15 - the day I finally got to come home and I got to come home with my babies
Sept. 24 - the day I started working again (it's also the same day my grandfather died in 2004)

8) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Becoming a mother to two wonderful babies.

9) Did you suffer illness or injury?
Umm - just recovered from a C-section. That's all I can think of.

10) What was the best thing you bought?
Hmm. I can't think of anything I bought in 2007 that I can say was the best thing. Baby stuff maybe b/c it meant I was having babies!

11) Whose behavior merited celebration?
Anyone that came to help us out after the babies were born. Anyone who came to visit me in the hospital. Anyone who helped us put the nursery together. Anyone who brought us meals in the weeks after we came home from the hospital.

12) Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I can't think of anyone.

13) What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Having the babies. Being able to go home after 5 weeks in the hospital. Seeing my babies on the ultrasound.

14) What song will always remind you of 2007?
Umbrella by Rihanna. I heard this song many times, but one time in particular I remember. Jon and I had selected our two girl names we were thinking of naming our daughter, but I wasn't sure which one to use (though, of course, she "chose" her own name). While in the hospital, I was watching The Today Show and Rihanna came on to sing this song and if you read the lyrics, you might understand why I took it as a sign that our daughter should be named Ella.

15) Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder, b) thinner or fatter, and c) richer or poorer?
a) Happier, but definitely more tired. Exhausted really.
b) Thinner in that I'm not carrying twins around.
c) I'm making more, but I feel poorer b/c we have to pay for daycare.

16) What do you wish you’d done more of?
Read more books while in the hospital.

17) What do you wish you’d done less of?
Watched less crap tv while in the hospital.

18) How did you spend Christmas?
With my husband, babies, kitties and Jon's parents and sister, Tanya. We were at my house.

19) Did you fall in love in 2007?
Yes, with our twins.

20) What was your favorite TV program?
Heroes

21) What was the best book you read?
The final Harry Potter book. I didn't read too much last year.

22) What was your greatest musical discovery this year?
Hmm. I don't know if I've made any.

23) What did you want and get?
Two wonderful babies.

24) What did you want and not get?
Another car. More time at home with Ella & Benjamin.

25) What was your favorite film of the year?
Hmm. I liked Stardust a lot. Harry Potter was good too.

26) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I had some friends over and one day following my birthday, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law came to watch the twins so I could have a day to relax - I went and had a massage, lunch with Jon, and did some shopping. I turned 34.


27) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Like the person whose blog I took this from, more time alone with my husband. An occassional date night would be good - but we need to find someone to watch the babies and I hate to ask.

At the same time, more time at home with my babies. Working part-time would be nice.

28) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Hmm, that's funny. I wore pregnancy clothes for the first half of 2007, along with some lovely hospital gowns. Then after that - whatever fit and was comfy.

29) What kept you sane?
My mother-in-law visiting every Wednesday when I was at home with the twins.

30) What political issue stirred you the most this year?
Hmm. I don't know. I can't say I kept up with politics too much last year. I'm starting to get back into the swing of things, especially since the presidential election is this year.

31) Who did you miss?
I guess I miss seeing my family more - we haven't gone to Spokane nearly as much as we used to. I haven't been there since April 2007 and before that, it had been a while, I think.

32) Who was the best new person you met in 2007?
Other than my children? I can't think of one specific person. Some great people I met in 2007 are: All the babies born to my support group buddies; all the couples in my childbirth classes; and, of course, it was great to meet Nickie and Carol (though I think I met Nickie in late 2006). I'd love to get together again sometime!


33) What valuable lesson have you learned in 2007?
Trust that you know what to do.

34) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"They didn't have you where I come from
Never knew the best was yet to come
Life began when I saw your face
And I hear your laugh like a serenade

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

I slip in bed when you're asleep
To hold you close and feel your breath on me
Tomorrow there'll be so much to do
So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

As you wander through this troubled world
In search of all things beautiful
You can close your eyes when you're miles away
And hear my voice like a serenade

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
Is forever enough"

Lullaby by Dixie Chicks

Weekend

Saturday morning, we gave the babies a new food to try - sweet potatoes. They seemed to like it o.k. I guess next week, they are going to get squash though I wanted to try applesauce. As soon as I can, I'll post new pics of them eating their solids!

A friend of mine posted some pics she took of the babies at the New Year's Eve party we went to - I have to point out a couple to everyone - this one and this one. Ella with her pouty lip and Benjamin with his silly smushed face!

We went to a party on Saturday night that one of Jon's friends from college was having - unfortunately, you have to have access to look at the pics she took. There were a couple cute ones of my babies! They were very well-behaved babies until it got closer to bedtime then Benjamin started to get cranky.

Yesterday, Ella said some new words - not sure what she was saying - but both Jon and I noticed! She also got to go to the store with her papa and I'm sure she just loved that. So many things to look at!

This morning, I was helping get the babies ready for daycare and my ride showed up, so I had to put Ella down (Jon was getting Benjamin ready). She did not like that at all. She wanted to be held and she was hungry. She gave me the saddest look with tears coming down. It was SO HARD to leave her like that. :-(

That reminds me. Over the weekend, Jon's mom was holding Benjamin and I was holding Ella. Benjamin looked over at me and started fussing and leaning toward me - he wanted me to hold him. Once we were able to make the switch, Benjamin was a happy little guy. That just made my heart melt! He wanted his mommy!

And sad that the Seahawks not only lost but played horribly. I'm sure the snow didn't help.

Tyra & Birth Website

I was reading a blog earlier and the writer mentioned a show that Tyra Banks taped yesterday (and will air in February (or so I hear)) – here is the info on the show…


DO YOU KNOW A WOMAN OBSESSED WITH BECOMING PREGNANT?
Do you know a woman who is obsessed with becoming a mom? Have you seen and heard her struggle for years, felt her unvoiced jealously and seen her desperation first hand? Have you watched silently for too long as she gets her hopes up only to be disappointed and heartbroken when she can't conceive? Has she tried extreme methods and spent a lot of money to get pregnant with no luck? Do you want to finally tell her she needs to stop the emotional and physical stress on her body and seriously consider adoption or a surrogate alternative?

WTH? Several blogs have already talked about this and I’m sure those of you who read this blog know exactly what is so offensive about the questions above, so I won’t go into this as much as I could have. Adoption and surrogacy are easy and inexpensive, didn’t you know? And they don’t have any emotional roller coasters that people go on unlike the “obsession” to get pregnant? Gah! There is so much more I could say. I already don’t like Tyra, but this definitely made my opinion of her worse. I’m sure she didn’t write the above, but she must have some say – isn’t she an executive producer of the show (I’m guessing as I really have no idea, but I think most hosts are of their shows). I would hope a true friend or a caring relative would not bring their friend/relative onto a nationally televised show to tell them their feelings aren’t worthy of being felt and he/she should just stop feeling that way. How incredibly insensitive. O.K. I wrote more than I was going to… I

On another topic, a while back I was driving home and in front of me was this car with the bumper sticker with trustbirth.com on it. I was just going through some stuff in my bag and came across an envelope I wrote the website on so I could remember to look at it. There was another bumper sticker with the woman’s website too – she’s apparently a doula so having the trustbirth bumper sticker makes sense.

Anyway, I’m curious what others think of what this organization says. They seem to want births to happen at home, not in the hospital because in the hospital, the woman isn’t in charge anymore. Plus, it isn’t a medical issue – it’s a natural event. They also seem to advocate for a natural birth – which is fine (I certainly wouldn’t want to do it without drugs – plus drugs kept my babies from coming way too early as did my doctor, so I’m glad she was in charge and not me). Anyway, let me know what you think.

Why Go

Taken from bitterkat's blog that was taken from Average Jane's Blog.

I like doing these sort of things...I think I might have done one before this one and the one I did on my other blog.

Directions:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, iPod etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Jesus Walks (Kanye West)

2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Am I The Only One (Dixie Chicks)

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Everyday (Toby Lightman)

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Smooth Rider (Dave Matthews Band)

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Almost Grown (Chuck Berry)

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
L'Accord Parfait (Autour De Lucie)

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Sunday Morning (Maroon 5)

8. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
In My Head (No Doubt)

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Forever and Always (Shania Twain)

10. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
I Hate Myself for Losing You (Kelly Clarkson)

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR EX?
Paper Bag (Anna Nalick)

12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
The Stone (Dave Matthews Band)

13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) (Green Day)

14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Next in Line (Johnny Cash)

15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
The Way You Are (Tears for Fears)

16. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Unglued (Stone Temple Pilots)

17. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Keep Breathing (Ingrid Michaelson)

18. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
A Day in the Life (The Beatles)

19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Stop (Matchbox Twenty)

20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Drowning (Hootie & the Blowfish)

Now press Next one more time and use it as your title.

The title of the post (Pearl Jam)

Weekend, Names & Babies

So many things to talk about.

This past Saturday, we went to visit my in-laws to help celebrate my mother-in-law's birthday. This was Benjamin & Ella's first trip to Tacoma and their longest car ride yet. We headed down south about a couple hours before the Seahawks game to avoid the traffic, and luckily, we did avoid the traffic (yay, the Seahawks won). We didn’t avoid the rain though. The ride back home was a lot better – no rain! I thought we were going down there for just a small thing with his parents, but Jon’s mom invited over all these people so they could meet Benjamin & Ella. One person, my sister-in-law’s biological grandmother, looks like one of the ladies in my vanpool. We had a good time talking to all these people. We occasionally checked on the score of the game. The babies did quite well on their first trip to Tacoma. Their first trip to Spokane might be around Easter weekend as I have Good Friday off, but it depends on whether Jon can get the time off and what the weather is like. I hope to take off that Monday too so we can have a little bit longer trip to be able to see everyone.

The next topic – baby names. I got an e-mail listing the top 100 baby names of 2007. I had looked at a list last week and it seems each list I’ve seen is different stats as Benjamin and Ella’s ranking in the top names are very different depending on what list you look at. In this one, Ella is #16 and Benjamin is #34 (in the other one I remember looking at – Ella was #21 and Benjamin was #24) – so they’re popular names, but not in the top 10, so yay! Another part of the e-mail was talking about celebrity baby names. Most seem o.k. to me, but Heaven and Princess and Alabama?

And now more on my own babies…

Ella LOVES to play with tags – they are just so yummy to gnaw on. Mmmm – tags. Silly Ella! Ella also loves to play with whatever toy Benjamin is playing with. It does not matter if she already has the same toy in her hands - she must have the toy Benjamin is having because it looks like a lot more fun. They are just (nearly) 7 months and it’s already starting. However, Ella can sometimes be easily distracted – you put a new toy in front of her that wasn’t there before, and she must put down the toy she has and play with that one you just put in front of her. Ella has been sleeping a lot with her hands underneath her head – as if she’s using her hands as a pillow. I wish I could give her a pillow to use, but that’s against the rules. At what point can they have a pillow? And speaking of things I’ve been meaning to look up – at what point can they have juice?

When Benjamin gets a toy, he likes to bang on his side like a tambourine. When I’ve put Benjamin on his tummy for tummy time, he just rolls over. He seems to have no interest in staying on his tummy for too long. When I’ve tried to get him to sit up (Ella is doing very well with sitting up on her own), he just leans forward and gets frustrated that he can’t get back up. He is still doing a lot of talking – he has so many stories to tell. Sometimes, he does sound like he’s singing – so cute. Jon was telling me that when Benjamin gets kisses sometimes, he’ll turn toward the kiss on his cheek, rolls his eyes and looks to the side, and gives a bashful grin. :-D

This morning, both babies were awake when I left. I got them changed and ready for their breakfast before I had to go to work. How I wish I didn’t have to go. They looked up at me with such cute little faces – it was so difficult to leave but the guy in my vanpool was waiting for me (I’ve got someone picking me up to take me to the vanpool when he’s in the vanpool – that has been so nice. It will suck when he’s on vacation and I have to go back to the bus during that time. It’s been nice having that extra time with the babies).