Desperately Seeking Baby...Babies Found

My thoughts on raising twins and a singleton after infertility.

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Saturday, May 19, 2007

please see my other blog

heather writes....

"write on baby blog that I can't access it anymore - the hospital has
figured it out - I can't even publish the comments I receive on that
blog anymore. direct people to my It's all about me blog where I will
update people from now on while in the hospital."

Friday, May 18, 2007

Back to being anxous (31 weeks 4 days)

This morning has been full of many contractions. Just when I think things were getting better contraction wise, they get worse again. I had so many they gave me a terb. shot - which is not fun to take as it makes you very jittery. My doctor increased my dosage of the pill I was taking for contractions from 60 mg to 90 mg - hopefully, that will do the trick and I won't have to do the terb. shot for a while or ever again). I was on the monitor for over 4 hours this morning because of the contractions.

Also, because of the contractions, my ultrasound was pushed back. Usually, they come in the morning, but after they took me off the monitor, they were to come any moment now. I'm still waiting for them to come get me for it. I was waiting until after the ultrasound to order my lunch, but I can't wait anymore so I ordered something that hopefully will be alright if I'm gone for awhile after it gets here (a salsd with the dressing on the side and some potato chips). It would be nice to know exactly when they will be coming! I keep thinking I hear them outside my door with the bed to roll me down there, but nope. I'm back to being anxious about what the ultrasound might show - I hope my cervix has stayed at 1.6 cm or got even longer! My OB doesn't seem worried (she stopped by), but I think she also wants to know what the ultrasound might show.

Well, that's all for now - I'll write more later. Thank you to the visitors I had this morning!

Oh, to answer Jessica's question, I'm at Swedish on First Hill.

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Thursday, May 17, 2007

1 week 1 day of hospital bedrest (31 weeks 3 days)

I got a call last night from the person who is handling my claim for maternity leave last night and everything is settled. Unfortunately, because of this time in the hospital, it will cut into the time I will have with my babies. :-(

Not much else to report for today. The contractions have slowed back down again which is really good. I'm starting to take more naps while in the hospital - the tv that's on during the day can be quite boring. I ended up watching Maury again today and this time it was all about 14-15 year old girls who want to have a lot of sex and get pregnant. I can't imagine having a child like these girls who talked back to their mother in that way and acted the way that they did. Speaking of mothers, today is my mom's b-day. Happy birthday!!!

Looking forward to tomorrow as it will be another ultrasound day - hopefully, I'll get some more good news! And it is always nice to leave this room. It's just been a little over a week and I am so tired of being here! I'm still waiting to find out when I'll be moved to a bigger room - it seems they have a full house right now so it may not be for a while.

Thank you to my visitors of today!!! It does make the time go by a lot faster when there are people here to talk to, so thank you!

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Wednesday, May 16, 2007

More News

My OB came by earlier today and said that if things continue to stay stable and/or get better, it is possible I may be able to go home - but not for a couple of weeks she said. She also thinks that I might be able to make it to 36 weeks, but it is still one day at a time.

Today is the first day I haven't had any visitors other than my husband - Jon will be here later after he has had a chance to do things at home. It's fine as I took a nap that I think I desperately needed.

A lot of people have asked me if I need anything while I'm here - I figured it out - snacks. I need snacks. I'm not sure what though - I need to figure that out.

O.K. That's all for now.

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Frustrated & More Good News (31 weeks 2 days)

I am so frustrated by the company that will be paying my salary while I am out on maternity leave. I am being told that despite having 13 weeks of paid time off for maternity leave that I will only get 6 week of paid time off after I deliver. This doesn't make any sense to me. My employer gives me 13 weeks, so I should get 13 weeks. Are they seriously telling me that despite only being off work for 1 week that if I delivered tomorrow, I won't get 12 more weeks, but I'll only get 1/2 that? I e-mailed my employer to verify and yes, I do get 13 weeks paid time off now if only the company that's actually giving me my salary would understand that. I just got really emotional this morning about this b/c I want to spend my maternity time with my babies when they come and not sitting at the hospital watching tv or blogging or whatever before they come. I also got emotional because things I thought I had dealt with are still there - like getting pregnant through IVF rather than naturally - having to go to the hospital for several weeks, etc. I'm feeling better now - the last thing I need is stress after things were getting better.

And I do have some more good news - I only have to be monitored 2 times a day and now I only have to have my blood sugar tested two days a week! So I have today off - yay!

Oh, and thank you to Nickie for coming to visit the other day and for bringing some DVDs and magazines!!

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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Day 6 of Hospital Bed Rest (31 weeks 1 day)

Well, I have great news. After the ultrasound, I was told that everything looks stable - nothing had changed, but later when I was talking to the nurse, she said that my cervix actually went from 7 mm to 1.6 cm. I commented that I didn't think that it could grow - she said it can't, but that something to do with gravity not pulling down on the cervix may have helped it close up a bit again - I think from the inside as it did look a little smaller on the inside when they were doing the ultrasound, but I just thought I didn't know any better - after all, last week, I thought it looked the same as the time before when it wasn't. I'm waiting for my OB to come by and explain things a little bit more.

In other great news, a friend of mine from my support group delivered her twin boys yesterday. Both babies weighed just under 5 pounds. I'm looking forward to meeting her babies!

Thank you to my visitors of today - yes, I did end up having visitors, which is really, really nice - including a cutie pie 3 month old! One of my visitors came while I was at the ultrasound, so I'm sad I missed her and her 2 month old sweetie.

Well, that's my news for today! Some great news - if only it meant I could leave the hospital!

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31 weeks 1 day

I've made it to 31 weeks. Only a few more weeks to go. I have an ultrasound sometime today to check on my cervix again. I'm anxious about it b/c I'm nervous the cervix has thinned out some more, especially since the contractions are picking back up again. I think they may be giving me more medication to slow them down again - I'm waiting for the nurse to come in with my meds for this morning.

The other day I mentioned that Jon gave me a monkey for Mother's Day. Jon, a while back , told me that because Christmas has Santa Claus and Easter has the Easter Bunny that Mother's Day needed something, so there is now the Mother's Day monkey. I asked what he wants Father's Day to be, he said Father's Day fruitbat. Yes, my husband is silly.

I'll write again later once I have news from the ultrasound.

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Sunday, May 13, 2007

Happy Mother's Day (30 weeks 6 days)

(This post written out throughout the whole day)

Right now as I'm writing this, I'm hanging out in my room looking at a magazine that my husband brought me and looking at stuff on the internet (though I still can't access bloglines or for some reason read blogspot blogs but I can post still - I have all this time now to read many blogs and I can't access them)! My husband is coming here a little bit later after spending some with our kitties - I miss them so much!!! And Jon told me that Sophie heard the front door open and close while she was eating her breakfast yesterday morning and she trotted into the livingroom to see what was going on - I'm going to choose to believe she was hoping it was me coming in the door. Jon was in the kitchen so she knew it wasn't him (it was my brother leaving the house).

I just had a visit from one of the OB's at my OB's clinic - before I leave here, I will have met each and every one of the OB's in that office probably. My OB called me yesterday to see how things were going - that was really nice. She told me I'd see her on Tuesday which I guess when I have my next ultrasound.

Awww - the nurse just took out my IV port. So nice as it was becoming itchy. Also, they took me off the antibiotics as it turns out I don't have an infection. One less pill to take.

I just had a couple friends come visit which was really nice. I love having visitors - it's too bad that it's a little cramped in this room though. Thank you both for coming today!!!

My husband is here visiting with me now - we played some games (though there is only so much sitting up that I can handle - it just feels awkward and I don't want our baby girl pressing on my cervix that much or at all really) and now we're watching "Walk the Line". So far, it's a good movie. At 8 though, I want to watch the finale of Survivor.

For Mother's Day this year, my husband got me a card and a monkey (there's a story behind that - I'll have to explain later - maybe tomorrow) and the card is "redeemable" for a glider.

Well, that's all for now.

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Saturday, May 12, 2007

Day 4 of Hospital Bed Rest (30 weeks 5 days)

I'm starting to think that the weekends may be the worst in terms of boredom around here - nothing on tv with the limited stations I have and there is only so much web surfing and reading I can do. But if all this means that my babies will come in a month or more, it is all worth it. Just taking it one day at a time.

I just had a friend of mine come by with her newborn twin girls born on Tuesday afternoon - they are so tiny! I held both of them as she took a picture of the 5 of us. :-) I am just so happy for her and her husband. Her babies were born at 36 weeks and are around the same size my babies are right now. I can't believe I have two of those babies in me! It just makes me so happy knowing how far all of us in my support group have come. Another friend, just down the hall from me, is being induced on Monday to deliver her twin boys.

As far as an update, things are going well. The contractions have slowed down and the babies are still doing great (though they really don't like being on the monitor all too much, especially our baby girl).

Thank you to the visitors that came by yesterday and today, I really appreciate it!

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Friday, May 11, 2007

In the Hospital

Hi everyone - this is Heather here in the hospital. I got a laptop so I can access the internet while I'm here - but for some reason, I've trouble accessing bloglines so I can see what others have written so it may be a while before I'll read and comment on blogs.

My husband updated you on things that happened on Wednesday that we had an u/s on Wednesday which showed the babies were doing well, but my cervix had shortened even more to 7 mm (from 2 cm). The doctor there sent me over to my OB's office and she immediately sent me to the hospital. They hooked me up to monitors and found I was contracting (I had felt some here and there before, but I had no idea it was happening that frequently). So I got medication for that and steroids to help their lungs mature (that shot stings much like the IM shots we had to do for IVF). I got another steroid shot last night and I'm going to be getting the contraction medication 3 x a day. I've also been given medication for a possible infection (UTI) and acid reflux. They also gave me some Benadryl to help me sleep and some medication to help with the lovely constipation issue. So many medications!!! Oh, and Wednesday, they hooked me up to an IV to get some extra fluids into me as they felt I was a bit dehydrated.

The contraction medication has helped slow down the contractions, but I'm still having some here and there. Some I feel - others I don't.

The first night here was rough for me - I couldn't sleep at all b/c of anxiety of the whole situation and acid reflux. Last night was a lot better b/c of the Benadryl. I did wake up at 4:30 b/c I was feeling contractions and the nurse immediately put the monitors on and gave me some medication which helped.

I just got back from an ultrasound and things are stable - the cervix is still at 7 mm and the amniotic fluid is still good, so it looks like this bedrest is helping.
One thing that I don't like about being here is that I miss my kitties a lot - I wish I had known when I left to go my u/s appointment on Wed that I wasn't coming back home.

Well, I think that's all for now. Thank you to everyone for your kind words - I really appreciate it. Also, thank you to Ally, Paul, my mom-in-law and brother-in-law who visited with me yesterday! I really appreciated it! I look forward to those who might be coming today (but obviously if something comes up, I would understand. Plus, I'll be here for a while yet (I hope).

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Thursday, May 10, 2007


[special guest blog by Desperately's husband]

…we went to a routine ultrasound today. The babies look good. Uber he’s est.
4lbs 10oz, ranking in at the 97%. Unter, she’s smaller, estimated about 3 lbs
15 oz, ranking in the 63%. They look normal, their heart rates are normal, and
they are breathing the amniotic fluid (I hear that’s good). We saw our daughter
(Unter) rubbing her little bottom on Heather’s cervix. While her brother (Uber)
was kicking my wife’s ribs.

Did I mention they are big?

My wife's cervix had gotten a lot thinner, the ultra-sound doctor dude sent us
right away to our OB. And she, sent us right away to the hospital. Desperately
even got a wheel chair ride. They didn’t let me drive / push the wheel chair,
but said I was very helpful by opening the door and pushing the elevator button.
Woo-hoo I helped!

Well, she is confined to the hospital for the next 4 weeks.

They think her cervix is shrinking because the babies are pushing on it. They
have her are watching her closely, and are treating the threat of pre-mature delivery very aggressively. Yup, aggressively telling her body to slow down.

It’s kinda surreal right now. I’m thinking “wow, this will make a great story on
prom night” or “hmm…I wonder how this will get worse.”

Please remember us in your thoughts and/or prayers.

Did I mention she was having contractions last night? They had her hooked up for awhile, monitoring her, and each baby. The babies still seem to be doing fine. She said she eventually fell asleep around 2am. (Is it just me or is Letterman not as funny as he used to be?)

The nurse woke her up this morning around 6am, because she was having more contractions, brought on by a full bladder. Those subsided after the bladder was emptied.

[thus ends the husband's report]

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

30 weeks 1 day

Just waking up from a much needed nap. My dad and my brother went off downtown to do some stuff - it would have been nice to go with them (especially since the weather is so nice in Seattle), but I need to be taking it easy and my feet were already looking rather swollen. I hope they get back here for dinner so we can go out before my dad leaves and Jon and I go to our 5th childbirth class - tonight we're talking about c-sections which will probably be what we have. I did sign up for a separate c-section class today as it seems we're heading that way - that class they seem to only want to offer in the middle on the day or early afternoon - which, I guess, is o.k. now since I won't be working when this class is scheduled to take place (on the 24th).

To answer Kirsten's question, I have the FFN test every 2 weeks. I'm also having ultrasounds every 2 weeks too. It does seem like a lot, but I appreciate it - especially after the last FFN test result. Our next ultrasound is tomorrow afternoon with the OB appointment the next morning.

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Monday, May 07, 2007

30 weeks!

Well, today marks 30 weeks. I can't believe that we will have babies in around 6 weeks (right, babies???). It seems like it was yesterday that we found out we were pregnant. We have another ultrasound this Wednesday afternoon - I'm very curious how much their estimated weight is right now. Just a little over 48 hours 'til we know.

My dad and my brother are on their way here from Spokane, so I'll have my brother living with us for however long he needs to stay. I'm a little curious about how much stuff he has. Since I have been told to take it easy, I haven't been able to get things ready quite the way I would have when I know I have visitors coming.

So far, with the exception of last night, my blood sugar has been below the amount that it is supposed to be. I guess I had a little too much carbs last night as it was slightly above 120 (which is what they want it to be). I guess I know now how much is too much. That's good to know.

Thanks to Kelly for coming over yesterday to teach me how to crochet!! I do need practice on starting something, but once it's started, I got it down o.k.

Well, I'm going to go lay down again and put up my feet (started working 1/2 time this week) until my dad and brother get here.

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Friday, May 04, 2007

29 weeks 4 days

The news for today is that my OB called me and told me she'd like me to start working 20 hours a week for the next couple weeks, then I'll be off work completely until I decide to go back. So working part-time starts this coming Monday.

The OB did give me more reassurance about the positive FFN - though it was positive, it doesn't mean that labor will occur in the next couple weeks. I can't imagine having a baby at 31 weeks or less. I hope that the positive isn't that big of a deal and that these babies of ours stay inside me for another 7 weeks or so. I have an ultrasound on Wednesday afternoon to check on the growth of the babies and to make sure the cervix hasn't thinned out anymore. One thing I forgot to mention before is that my cervix was opening a bit from the inside, but my OB said that this doesn't mean much.

Well, per my OB's advice, I'm going to take it very easy and rest as much as I can so I can make it to 36 weeks. Have a great weekend everyone!


Thursday, May 03, 2007

Anxious about FFN result (29 weeks 3 days)

Last night, I got a phone call from my OB's office that the fetal fibronectin test came back negative (this test is supposed to determine whether preterm labor could occur in the next 2 weeks), but this morning, I got a call from the OB's office saying that it is actually positive and there was some miscommunication. Yesterday, my OB said I should definitely stop working at the end of week 31/beginning of week 32 which would be 2 weeks from this Friday. Before then, it would be up to me. However, that may change now b/c of the results of the FFN. The OB I talked to said that this doesn't necessarily mean preterm labor will occur. I'm still really anxious and I may have to stop working sooner - I'm hoping that my OB calls to let me know if she wants to change her opinion on when to stop working. I will stop working sooner if it would mean delaying labor - I really want to make it to 36 weeks.


Wednesday, May 02, 2007

OB Visit (29 weeks 2 days)

Thankfully, the OB said that everything is looking the same as it did last week with my cervix so I assume the FFN will come back with good results again. We'll see though when the results come back.

She did tell me that she will definitely ask that I stop working by 32 weeks, however. Before then, it is up to me. I can continue working (assuming the FFN comes back negative), but she did say that I should look into working less hours or stop working altogether. Right now, I'm going to continue working until the end of week 31 - my boss is going to be a bit surprised about that, I think. I would love to stop working now, but financially, that just doesn't feel like an option. And working less hours, I already feel like I'm missing hours just by going into work late or leaving early for doctor appointments, ultrasound appointments, physical therapy appointments, and now appointments with the diabetes center (though next week may be the last appointment with the diabetes center if my numbers continue to come back normal). We'll see though - I could change my mind as I do feel quite tired and you should see my feet (so very swollen - the OB said to me that I must feel quite miserable with how swollen they are).

Anyway, I'll see what the FFN says - the results should come back tomorrow. My OB also wants me to make an appointment with the ultrasound place for next week and have ultrasounds every 2 weeks from now on, so I need to reschedule the appointment I had for 2 weeks from today.

In other news...after the appointment, we went over to the hospital so I could say hi to my friends and both of them told me that they will have their babies soon! At the very latest for either of them, Tuesday will be the delivery date (though it could happen sooner)! I'm so excited to meet their babies - I hope and pray that their deliveries go smoothly and that their babies are very healthy.

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Still going well... (29 weeks 2 days)

Things are still going well with the blood sugar testing. All of my numbers so far have been under what they want it to be. So that's good. If that continues, it looks diet alone will control things. To answer Erin's question, we were told to put our pokey thingy on the 3rd setting right in the middle and to test our blood 2 hours after finishing eating. Even on the 3rd setting, it hurts, but luckily, no bruises! That doesn't sound good at all!

The nurse at the diabetes center also wants us to test our urine each morning and this is supposed to tell us if we are getting enough to eat. Did others with gestational diabetes have to do this too? I guess it makes sense to do this test too since we are changing what we eat.

This morning, I woke up feeling o.k., but that didn't last. While brushing my teeth this morning, I started to gag and felt the need to throw up. Luckily, I didn't throw up, but the constant gagging did make my tummy rather tight as if I was having a contraction. I think I had a few contractions last night, but they were more a feeling of tightening which was unpleasant but not painful like the ones I was feeling over the weekend.

In about an hour, I'll be leaving work to go to my OB appointment for another FFN test. Hopefully, we'll get good news again. Despite the FFN test, I'm looking forward to today's OB appointment because I'm hoping she'll do another ultrasound like she did last week. I don't think the babies have moved at all, but I do love seeing them and hearing their little hearts beating.

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Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Blood Sugar Testing (29 weeks 1 day)

I just took my first blood sugar test (not counting the practice one in the class we went to today) and apparently, I did something right in the food I ate for lunch as it was 104 and they want it under 120. Hopefully, I continue to get good numbers.

The little prick of the needle kinda hurts, but it's nothing like those needles used for IVF.