Desperately Seeking Baby...Babies Found

My thoughts on raising twins and a singleton after infertility.

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Thursday, September 25, 2008

"hewo" and "ow!"

I forgot something new that Ella has been saying. She will pick up one of our old cordless phones or cell phone and will say "Hewo" and start having a conversation. It's incredibly cute. When Benjamin gets a hold of the cordless, he'll put it up to his ear, but I don't think I've heard him say anything yet. With the cell phone, he likes to examine it - it's shiny.

Too bad Ella won't say anything when there's actually someone on the other end!

And I think Benjamin is mad at me for something. Ella is very excited to see me when I come pick them up from day care; she will come run up to me and give me a hug. :-D Benjamin, the last couple days, just looks at me as if to say "oh, you're here", and then he gets all mad when I tell him it's time to put his shoes and jacket on so we can go home. Tantrum city! :-( Sometimes I do wonder if they like the daycare more than they like being at home with their parents. It makes me sad, but I have to work.

And now to pregnancy talk:

My hip seriously hurts. I must have pinched some nerve or something. Plus, when I get up or when I'm just walking around, my hip will give out on me. I feel as if I'm 85 as opposed to 35.

Other than that, things seem to be going well today. A little bit of a heartburn-y feeling this morning, but not that bad. Not sure what could have caused that this morning.

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Wednesday, September 24, 2008


I was just reading my old posts as the things I need to work on at work need to wait until there is someone actually on the East Coast at work to answer the phone.

Anyway, one of the old posts I was reading was about the words that my children say. Last night, Benjamin saw Sophie (our kitty) on our bed and excitedly yelled "kitty!" very clearly. So cute. The other night I thought he said while handing something to me "give you". Who knows if that's what he said, but it sounded like it.

As for Ella, I can't think of any new words she's said recently.

In Ella news, we did switch her shoes to some tennis shoes from the sandals she was wearing since the weather is changing. She hates the tennis shoes because she can't easily take those off. We bought some new shoes for Benjamin too though they might be a bit too big for him yet.

Also, Benjamin and Ella both love the indoor slide we got for them. Benjamin will go up and down the slide now, not just up and down the ladder. They like to fight over whose turn it is. This morning, Jon told me that they fought over who got to throw away the dirty diaper! They've been helping us throw away their dirty diapers. And speaking of, Ella is starting to show some signs of being ready to start potty training. She has handed me a diaper for me to change her the other day and she didn't squirm around when I did so. The other night she was stinky, so I said, let's go change your diaper, and she didn't fight me on it! She laid right down where she needed to and let me change her diaper. So it might be time to break out a potty chair!

As for the pregnancy, I think I might have felt the baby move, but I don't know. Last pregnancy, it felt like butterflies. This time, it felt like popcorn going off in my belly. Maybe it's something else. I haven't felt it too often - maybe 2 or 3 times now. And just now too.

This Friday, I have an OB appointment and I'm looking forward to it so we can hear the heartbeat again. I plan to ask her when I should be tested for gestational diabetes (not that I want to do that again) and what the chances are of me having the cervix issues I had before when this time it isn't twins. Hopefully, the chances are low. No bedrest for me please.

That's all for now. I would really like to post more often to document Ben & Ella growing up and the pregnancy, but I seem to forget what I was going to write about so I don't.

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Friday, September 19, 2008

Sleepless nights & Pregnancy Stuff

So I just need to say that having Jon away for one night was not something that I couldn't handle. I feel like my other post made it sound like that. It would have preferable, however, that I had not come down with a cold and felt achy all over the very night that this was taking place, but that's just the way things happened. I'm afraid that I did put my kids to bed a little earlier that night just so I could go to bed earlier once I cleaned dishes, etc. It wasn't that much earlier - only 10-15 minutes.

The rest of this post is rather boring. I'm just writing it so I can remember how things were going in a particular point in the pregnancy.

Anyway, so that night, I didn't sleep well at all. Actually, for the past few nights, I haven't been sleeping all that well. I keep waking up due to bladder issues or being uncomfortable or just a paranoid fear that I have that something I'm doing is causing me to hurt the baby (please tell me I have nothing to worry about and that everything will be o.k. Is it 09/26 yet so I can go to the OB for that reassurance everything is o.k.?). And just as I was falling asleep, Benjamin woke up screaming. I stayed in bed a bit (15 seconds) hoping he would calm himself down, but nope. Thankfully, he wasn't having another night terror so I was able to calm him down quickly by walking around with him for a bit before getting him back in bed. Then, Ella woke up around 2 or 3 a.m. - thankfully, she calmed herself down - perhaps by finding the pacifier and sticking it in her mouth. So that night, not a peaceful one.

I woke up that morning around 5 or so and couldn't get back to sleep so I laid in bed until I heard Ella moving around and talking in her bed. I went to go get ready for the day before going to get her and have I mentioned that I hate brushing my teeth? Brushing led to gagging which led to throwing up. I finally got myself together enough to go get Ella, then a bit later, Benjamin once he woke up. We went to the doctor. I took the kids to daycare and headed to work. As I headed to work, I knew I should have stayed home but there is this big thing I'm working on that needs to be done soon so I headed in. When I got there, I found that there wasn't anything I could do on that project so I went home after responding to a few e-mails. All that gas for about 2 hours at work.

My plan was to sleep for a while, then go get Ben & Ella. I couldn't fall asleep so I ended up watching the finale of The Office (finally!) and a few other shows (started watching Chelsea Lately - they can be mean on there sometimes). That night, to help with the sleepless nights, I took a Benadryl pill. I felt rather anxious about taking it though the OB's office told me it would be o.k. I'm just nervous to take anything like that while pregnant. And, of course, I start feeling some pressure in my cervix this morning so I'm even more nervous about taking another pill tonight. Plus, those pills make me incredibly groggy the next day. It took me forever to get up, and I still feel very tired.

Well, that's it. Other than the above, I've been feeling o.k. with this pregnancy. I just want it to be next Friday so I can see the OB and we can hear the baby's heartbeat again. I keep telling myself we should think of baby names, but then I say we should wait until after the next appointment so we know everything is still o.k. I can't help my paranoia when it comes to the pregnancy.

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Dancing Toddlers

The cutest thing happened last night.

Ella was playing with part of a mobile that plays Bach, Mozart and Beethoven. She had the music going and was dancing her little side to side dance to the music. Benjamin got up on his feet and stood there swaying to the music. They were so incredibly adorable! And, of course, Jon was outside so he missed out the cuteness.


Thursday, September 18, 2008

15 month checkup and answer to question

First, the answer to the question I received from yesterday's post. The ring test is where you take your wedding band, or if you don't have one anyone's ring will do, and have someone hover it over one of your hands (it has also been done over your belly too). It is supposed to start moving a certain way for a girl and a another way for a boy. For the longest time, it said girl then a boy. But now, it is saying girl, boy, girl. For my coworker, for the longest time, it said boy, boy, girl. And now it's saying boy, boy, girl, girl. So, it doesn't appear to be as accurate as some would hope.


Now, onto the 15 month checkup. I took Ben & Ella to their 15 month checkup yesterday, and well, having two parents with two walking and curious toddlers is really a good thing. It's more a good thing because they both wanted mommy at the same time and not the strangers at the doctor's office.

Anyway, here are the stats:


Height: 30 1/4 inches (she was a wiggle worm during this so give or take a little bit) (45th percentile)

Weight: 23 lbs .4 oz (55%) (Ella didn't like this part either)

Head Circumference: 46 cm (50%)


Height: 33 inches (95%)

Weight: 27 lbs 5.6 oz (85%)

Head Circumference: 50 1/2 cm (>95%)

She's right in the middle and he's just a big boy.

They did have to have shots yesterday. I held Ella while the pre-med student held Benjamin. Ella did o.k. until a bit after the 1st shot was over and the 2nd shot was going in. Benjamin started screaming and gave me the "save me" look with the first shot. My poor guy!

Doctor asked if they like to climb. I laughed and said, "very much so". I should have told her the one day, Ella pushed the box the potty came in over to the couch, climbed up on there and was about to climb up onto the couch. They like to climb up and down the ladder leading to the slide - Benjamin more so. Ella will actually go down the slide. Benjamin can climb up onto one of our couches without assistance, while Ella still needs a bit of help.

She asked how long they had been walking. She checked on their teeth and seemed surprised Benjamin is only working on his 3rd. She said Ella has her 1st year molars coming in, which we knew.

They looked rather cute as we walked from the exam room to the scale. Two little toddlers walking down in just their diapers. Adorable! The staff members agreed. One of the staff members said to Ella "come here, Sarah. Oh, I mean, Ella!" She turned to me and said "We have another set of twins that come here named Sarah and Jackson, so I got confused." And I said, "yes, they are the children of some friends of ours!" I didn't actually hear her say Sarah, though it did sound like she said something that wasn't Ella.

Doctor also said I looked tired and Jon should give me a back rub (I didn't disagree with her, the night before was a rough night - more on a later post). I told him that and he was such a sweetie and gave me a back rub and went to the store to get me drugs for my cold. Such a good guy!

I think that's about it for their checkup. Next checkup is at 18 months.

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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

One Night

Tonight, Jon is in Leavenworth. I am on my own with the twins and it will be my first time without him in the house overnight. We've lived in this house for 5 years. He's been alone in the house plenty of times by himself overnight.

Tomorrow, I will take Ben & Ella for their 15 month checkup. I hope that there are no shots tomorrow, but there might be. I hope that they will be good little toddlers and not get into anything that they shouldn't, but you know they will. Why isn't the pediatrician's office better child proofed?

Speaking of people I need to take them to, I'm wondering when we should start taking them to the dentist. Ella is working on her 7th tooth. Benjamin is working on his third. So for you other parents out there, when should I start taking them? Should it be now?

And, of course, while he's away is the time for my allergies to kick it up to miserable levels so I feel like crap. I called the OB to see if there is anything I can take - I'm still waiting on a reply.

In other news, a coworker of mine just told me that she has her very own surprise pregnancy. The ring test had told her before that she was only having three and now it says 4. I'm beginning to think that ring test isn't accurate (note sarcasm). ;-D

That's all for now - hopefully, once I leave work, where the air is all dusty because of all the ductwork they are doing, I'll feel a lot better.

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Saturday, September 13, 2008


Today, I celebrated my 35th birthday. I had some friends over for a BBQ and some karaoke. It was nice to see everyone as if feels like forever since I've seen some of the people that came tonight. It has been a long time since I've seen a friend from support group and her family that (haven't seen since May) and a friend from law school (haven't seen since last May when I was stuck in the hospital). Life gets busy for everyone.

We do need to have people more often so the children aren't as nervous around our friends like they are now though they did seem to warm up to some by the end of the night.

All in all, it's been a good birthday. Now, it's time for bed. Yes, it's only a little after 9:30, but I'm exhausted!


Friday, September 12, 2008

15 months and 15 weeks

Today, Ben & Ella are 15 months old. It's hard to believe that my little tiny babies are now toddlers. Sometimes they forget that they are taller than they used to be and will bonk their heads on the side or bottom of the dining room table.

Ella - has perfected the art of the tantrum already. She will get onto her knees and her head when she doesn't get her way and scream!

She is also become quite the runner. The other night, not to be outdone by Benjamin walking, she decided to run between Jon and I much like Benjamin was walking between us. She wanted to hear the "yay, you did it!" too. She's been running for a little bit by this point. So proud of my little girl!

Benjamin has become a walker. He's walked a bit here and there, but he's definitely a walker now even if he gets down to crawl too. He may not be a full time walker yet, but he will be soon. He has gotten more confidence. So proud of my little guy.

Over the past few days, he's become a clingy toddler. He won't let me put him down which is making it difficult for me to make dinner or change into comfy clothes. I try to put him down and he turns around to me and holds my pant leg tight and looks up to me and says "momma, momma". How can I not pick him up?

Lately, she and Benjamin have helped us throw away their dirty diapers or pick up any food that may have dropped from the floor from their high chair trays. Such helpful little children!

Ella and Benjamin have the longest eyelashes and beautiful blue eyes. Everytime I look into their eyes I think of the Snow Patrol song that I listened to quite a bit in the infertility stage of my life. "All that I am. All that I ever was is here in your perfect eyes. They're all I can see." Love that song.

And one thing that I must write about is got to be the cutest thing ever. They like to show affection to each other (and to us sometimes) by touching their heads together. When I was pregnant, I watched a National Geographic show on multiples in the womb - they mentioned you might see your multiples play with one child on one side of a curtain with the other on the other side. Well, my children, while in the womb, had their heads up against each other. I can only imagine that their little affection of touching their heads together and how they smile when they do that or coo when they do that is them doing something that brought them comfort in the womb. So sweet.

On another note - I am at 15 weeks today. Feeling alright, though the smell of salmon today just nauseated me. Still very tired though not as much as used to be - for example, I don't feel the strong urge to lay down under my desk and take a nap - it's just a wish right now. I don't fall asleep while in the bathroom either (yes, that pretty much happened to me - I should not have closed my eyes). Forgot to mention - I feel like an old person - everytime I get up, my right hip wants to give out on me. Gotta loves those hormones!

That's all for now. Soon, I hope to upload some new pictures onto flickr and some videos too.

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Official Walking by Benjamin

I'm going to go ahead and say Benjamin is an official walker. Sure, he sometimes gets down on his hands and knees and crawls, but he will walk around to different places. The other night, he actually got himself up to a standing position without having to use anything to pull up with. That was the first time I saw him do it, so I had no idea he could do that. And he also has been walking at the daycare now that the daycare knows he can walk - that little guy has been holding out on them!


Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Church and Talking

This past weekend, we were invited to join a friend of ours at a church nearby her house (and right across the street from where some friends used to live). The service started at 10 a.m., so I was a little anxious about it because it was around the time Ben & Ella usually take a nap and well, I didn't know anyone.

We took Ben & Ella to the nursery so they could play or take a nap if they wanted to. At first, Ella wasn't letting us leave, but one of the teachers there came and took Ella and calmed her down. They gave us a pager and we went on our way to the service.

About 5 minutes or so into the service, the pager starts to beep. So I walk back to the nursery (and right before the pager started beeping, I was telling Jon I wanted to go check on them - I hate leaving them when they are upset like that). When I got there, they told me everything was o.k. The pager must have been malfunctioning. But Benjamin saw me and it was all over. He wasn't going to let me leave. So I picked him up and rocked him in the one of the chairs. He eventually fell asleep.

During this time, Ella was with the teacher and the teacher was telling her the Noah's Ark story complete with props. Ella loves books, so she seemed quite entertained. Eventually, she got tired though and she wanted to be snuggled too. I couldn't take her because I had Benjamin and I was afraid moving him would wake him up, so the teacher rocked her - though Ella wanted me - it was so hard to see her with those huge tears coming out and looking at me like she was saying "don't you love me anymore?". UGH!

She did calm down until her brother woke up - so I sat them both down gave them their milk. Shortly thereafter, the service was over and we all went out to brunch. We may go back there. Everyone seemed really nice there. I'm still a little anxious about it being their naptime though. I'm wondering when they will outgrow their need for a morning nap.


And Ella, lately, has become quite the talker. We have heard her say "did it" when she goes down the slide at home. And she also says "Whee!" when she goes down the slide. I've heard her say something like "here you go" when handing somebody something. I could have sworn the other day she said Cheerio and Jon think she said it yesterday morning combined with "uh oh" probably when she was dropping the Cheerio onto the floor. She has said "shoe" once that I know of. I'm sure there are others (besides the ones I've mentioned in previous posts). I know she understands a lot more words, as does Benjamin, then she says. Oh, she has said "hi" and, of course, "no".

After eating, we do have her help us clean up the mess she made. She puts the Cheerios into a bowl (occasionally sneaking one to eat it). She also helps by taking dirty diapers to the trash.

Benjamin says a few things here and there, but nothing I really understand except for dada and momma. He did say Ella once and book, but I haven't heard it since. He does sit down and "read" a book - much like Ella does too. He will also help with taking the dirty diapers to the trash. He is still working on his walking. He will fall down and I think then loses some confidence that he had, but he's getting closer. He has become very clingy to me the past few days. Usually, when we get home, I go and change into some comfy clothes while the twins play or follow me into the bedroom. But last night, he wouldn't let me unless I carried him into the bedroom and even then, he was not happy with me putting him down.

Anyway, this is getting long so that will be all for now.

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Friday, September 05, 2008

2nd Trimester

Today is the first day of the 2nd trimester. For the most part, the nausea has subsided, but it will creep up again when I brush my teeth. I hate brushing or flossing my teeth these days. Going to the dentist will be a hoot, I'm sure. I'm supposed to do that on the 29th, but I may have to cancel because the daycare will be closed all that week so I might have to take some time off unless Jon's mom will watch them for a few days out of that week. I'm hoping to save as much time for my maternity leave next year.

Anyway, things are going well with the pregnancy as far as I know. I don't see my OB until the 26th - feels like a lifetime from now. I'm so incredibly anxious that at any moment something will go wrong. I hate feeling like this, but I can't seem to turn it off.

Speaking my OB, she called me the other day. I didn't hear my phone ring so she left a message. She is so sweet. She called to congratulate us (we haven't seen her yet due to that scheduling issue last time) and to say that she's sure we have mixed emotions about this pregnancy - which is so true.

One thing that just popped up is my feelings about my job. I really don't want to work at this job anymore. I was all set to go find something else when I learned I was pregnant. Now I feel stuck in this position for a while - sure, employers can't discriminate against a pregnant woman, but you know they will. Plus, at this job, I get 3 months paid time off - not many places do that. However, sometime next year, I will be looking for something else - possibly on the other side of the state or further south where housing is cheaper.

Anyway, getting back to the good things. I am happy I get to experience pregnancy again and that I will have another child. I'm so excited to meet this little person even more so after being a mother to Ben & Ella. I am very lucky that I got pregnant again.