Desperately Seeking Baby...Babies Found

My thoughts on raising twins and a singleton after infertility.

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Thursday, August 31, 2006

Just blogging...

Our anniversary was nice. We BBQ'd some steaks and some corn on the cob. It was quite yummy. After dinner, we went to go watch some Veronica Mars (love that show!)on DVD. It was a nice, quiet night - which I like.

Yesterday afternoon, I went over to the bank to sign the loan documents (my husband went earlier in the day). The whole thing scares me and angers me. I don't want to get this money out to do IVF, but I don't have much of a choice if I want to get pregnant and have a baby. It just isn't fair. How many times will we say that phrase?

The whole mess with the concert this weekend still hasn't been resolved. Because it is Labor Day weekend and because the concert is sold out, I am unable to find any place for us to stay. I have one last hope and if that doesn't work, we will drive back after the concert. There are still spaces at the campground as well, but my husband doesn't seem too excited to spend $40 to camp there. The concert is at the Gorge Amphitheatre in George, WA (real clever name for the city, huh?), which is a little under 3 hours away. I am getting really excited for this show - I'm listening to Dave Matthews Band on my iPod right now, so I'm sure that's increasing the level of my excitement.

Anyway, that's all for now...

UPDATE: We are definitely driving back after the concert, but in the hopes of getting out of there as soon as possible, I purchased premier parking (of which the ticket better show up soon in my e-mail). This purchase also allows us early entry and since we have GA tickets, I want to get in as soon as possible to get a good seat.

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Camping, Annoying Ticketmaster & More

If anyone is really curious, you can read all about my camping trip here and see some pics here.

And now for the next topic - annoying Ticketmaster - this afternoon, I just happened to be looking at my tickets for the Dave Matthews Band concert this weekend and the tickets for the campsite. Well, the tickets for the concert are for the correct day (this Saturday), but the tickets for the campsite are for Sunday!!!! HUH? I bought the tickets at the EXACT same time. I called Ticketmaster and they were unable to switch the dates for me - the guy who I talked to had no idea why because purchases should be able to be made up until Friday but the system wasn't letting him change it. Soooo, he gave me a refund for the campsite and told me to call the campground directly to get a spot because he said there were still plenty of spots available. Well, I called Jon and he would rather stay at a hotel than at a campsite, so now I'm trying to find a place for us to stay on such short notice and when that night's concert (I heard) is sold out. UGH!!!!

Oh, and we were going to go sign the docs for the loan today, but the guy would rather us come into tomorrow so I had to switch my plans at the last minute! The guy called me just as I was turning off my computer at work to go pick up Jon and go to the bank.


Anniversary & Other Info

Eight years ago today, I married my wonderful husband. It certainly doesn't feel like it's been that long! Happy anniversary to my husband!

So Sunday we came home from our camping trip (more on this later once I upload my pictures) to find a package from the shared risk place (not the clinic, but the place that we are signing the contract with) and even though I told the clinic that we are doing everything at their clinic and not going back and forth between my current RE's office and their clinic, we got the price quote for the back and forth option - which costs about $1000 more. I called the shared risk place and they said I needed to have the clinic e-mail them with the new information, which he had already done, but he went and did so again. So, hopefully, I will get the new contract today with the correct amount on it as I'm anxious to get this sent in since it needs to be in at least 2 weeks prior to starting on Lupron.

And after work today, my husband and I are going to sign the loan documents (what a way to spend our anniversary, huh?), then go get some steaks (I hope) to bbq at home. We just want a nice quiet night at home for our anniversary this year. We were going to sit out on our deck, but the weather isn't cooperating today (it's cloudy and rainy), so I guess we'll be eating inside or we'll change our plans and go out to dinner somewhere. We'll see what the weather is like later tonight.

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Thursday, August 24, 2006

One Less Hurdle!

I just received news that I've been accepted into the shared risk program!!! Yay!!! Now I just need the loan to go through and for my next cycle to start and we'll be on our way to our first IVF cycle!


Wednesday, August 23, 2006

More on IVF#1

So I was just calculating when my next cycle might be, and it could be (if I had a normal 28 day cycle) right around my 33rd birthday. What a great birthday present, huh? AF shows up and I start on BCPs!

I'm wondering when I should start with acupuncture again. When I start on Lupron or later or earlier? I have no idea... If I could, I would go right now!


Some Info

I found two websites (here and here) that give a good description (as far as I can tell - having not been through IVF yet, I'm not completely sure) of the process involved in going through IVF. This will explain why I'm being put on birth control pills and the other drugs and steps involved in IVF. Just thought I'd share since there was a question on the birth control pills part.


IVF #1

I finally heard from the nurse at the shared risk clinic about when I could start my first IVF cycle. She said I would need to start on birth control pills on the 4th day of my next cycle and then I would be put onto the calendar for IVF for October. That just seems like a million miles away. I really, really hope that this cycle is not the extremely long cycle like it was last cycle! I'm trying not to think about it and get myself all anxious, but it so very hard not to do!

Also, the clinic submitted my application for shared risk today, so I should hear something within 48 hours (that is what they told me anyway). So, hopefully, by Friday, I will know if we are in the program or not. Even if we aren't, we're going ahead with IVF. However, I've been told by numerous people that they would be surprised if I didn't get into the program. I'm leaving on my camping trip on Friday, so I'll update everyone when I get back on Sunday!

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Monday, August 21, 2006

Busy (& Sometimes Irritating) Weekend (and more on Moving Forward)

This past weekend was quite a busy one, and I didn't do all the things I needed or wanted to do. That seems to always be the case. Just a warning - I'm a bit of a rambler today... :-D

Saturday morning, my husband and I went to the bank to ask for a loan to pay for the shared risk program. That seemed to go over well. Then after that, we went back home so my husband could prepare for the luau we were going to later that night and a friend from work was coming over so that we could go for a walk. Well, we went walking for 4 miles, then came back to find my computer had crashed and just didn't want to work at all. So most of the afternoon was spent trying to fix that (thanks to a friend who came over to help fix it - I wouldn't have been able to fix it). And let me tell you, my emotions are just at their peak these days with everything going on, so things like this can just irritate me sooooo much.

Most of the computer programs had been fixed, but for some reason, my computer wouldn't play anything that I had purchased from iTunes. So the next day, I spent about 1/2 hour on the phone with the Apple support people to get that fixed.

Saturday night, we went to the 2nd annual luau at a friend's house. We hosted the luau last year, but this year the luau was held in Ballard (neighborhood in Seattle). When my mind wasn't occupied with my stupid computer problems, I was having a good time. The yummy mai tai certainly helped out. At the luau, my husband and a friend put on a little concert - which I enjoyed. I have mentioned this friend before - I really like her song called "Girl I Am Inside" (which I've also said before).

Then on Sunday, I walked around Greenlake a couple times (5.6 miles) while, once again, my husband ran with a friend. Afterwards, we went to go sign up for the Super Jock 'n Jill race...he signed up for the half-marathon and I signed up for the 4 mile walk - the people who run or walk the half-marathon get a nice long sleeve shirt while the 4 milers only get a boring little t-shirt. :-( Next year, I may have to walk 13 miles so I can get the nice long sleeve shirt. :-D

After that, we went to go visit my husband's family in Tacoma then came back to Seattle to go to dinner with some friends to celebrate the 30th birthday of the friend I mentioned above. By the time we got home, it was around 11 p.m. I am so tired today and today was going to be the day I stopped drinking any caffeinated beverages (not gonna happen).

Thank God that it is a 4 day work week for me! This weekend, my husband and I are going to Winthrop to go camping and to a play that my brother is in at a playhouse in Twisp. That should be nice and relaxing, but we'll see. When we come back to Seattle, we may be bringing my other brother with us to stay for a week before he starts school again; he's a senior in high school - I can't believe he's that old already! That just makes me feel old.

Anyway, I'm supposed to get my test results back today and the nurse at my current RE's office is supposed to be faxing over the results to the shared risk people at the other clinic to get that process started. I'm hoping by the end of the week, we will have been approved for the program and have gotten the $$$ to pay for the program. I'm also hoping that the nurse at the shared risk clinic gets back to me as to the earliest we could start an IVF cycle. I e-mailed her last week - she said she would e-mail me back. I still haven't heard back from her! Yet another thing that's irritating me.

Just got the results of the CD3 tests - everything was normal - yay! So I just need to call the other RE back to let them know so we can get the shared risk program application in!

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Friday, August 18, 2006

The thread that binds us together

If you haven't already seen this, over at Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters is a great idea. Each of us, that want to, can wear a pomegranate thread on our right wrist to further create a community among those going through infertility and to also start conversations about infertility. I'm going to try to find this thread this weekend (if I have time)!


Wasn't too bad

Well, I had the SHG done yesterday and it wasn't too bad. It wasn't fun, but it wasn't nearly as painful as the HSG I had done a long time ago. And this test didn't last nearly as long as the HSG (or maybe that one just felt like it lasted forever since it hurt so badly). One weird part about the SHG is that when she was done and took out the "dil*do cam", all the saline came rushing out - and I thought "hmm, I wonder if this is what it feels like when a pregnant woman's water breaks". It was quite awkward to walk back to the dressing room with saline running down your legs.

The doctor told me that everything looked good. (I had thought it strange that they want this test done because I thought, like the HSG, they were checking my fallopian tubes and you don't need your tubes for IVF. Well, apparently, the SHG is also used to check the uterus - which completely makes sense.)

Anyway, the next part was the bloodwork. And once again, I will state that I HATE GIVING BLOOD! My veins are so tiny, so they always have a hard time finding a vein to get blood from. The guy poked in my arm, but nothing was happening, so I told him just to use the veins in my wrist. You can see those and they are bigger. So he put the needle into my left wrist and my blood didn't want to come out too much. He got out a little bit, but not enough for the tests. So....he moved to the other wrist and that one was no problem! UGH - this is exactly why I don't donate blood.

So I was told that the results from the blood tests should be in today and the results of my husband's test on Monday. The nurse told me that she will send the results directly to the shared risk clinic when they become available. I'll be calling on Monday to make sure they got the results.

Tomorrow, my husband and I are going to one of the banks to drop off our loan. On top of getting the loan for the program, I'm going to see if we can increase the amount of our loan to consolidate my variable interest rate student loans of which the rate keeps going higher. This way, we can hopefully get a fixed rate on those loans. We'll see tomorrow when we talk to the bank.

On another topic, I was just reading about Jennifer Lopez and how she's been trying to have a baby for a while and recently got a false positive. I'm not sure if I like her music/acting or not, but I certainly feel for her. No one should have to go through infertility!

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Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Moving Forward

Before I get into the news for the day, I just want to say thank you to everyone who commented on that last post. Although I had a freakout day today with everything that's going on, my husband and I did decide to move forward with the loan so that's what we are going to do. We will make it work - where there's a will, there's a way, right?

To answer some questions... :-D The friend I mentioned in the last post hasn't gone through infertility and as far as I know, hasn't tried to conceive. She didn't tell me what she would do in my situation - she just thinks it is a bad idea. A Forerunner is this. I didn't get a chance to use it today, but I will tomorrow. Yay!

Now onto the news:

Well, CD1 finally happened today, so I've got an appointment Thursday afternoon for the SHG and the CD3 bloodwork. I'm not looking forward to either, but eager to get things going with IVF cycle #1 (which I hope will be soon).

So after I get the results back from the Thursday tests, I'll take that over to the clinic that offers shared risk. I was told that it takes 48 hours to get an answer back on whether you are qualifed for the shared risk program. And as soon as we get an answer, they will need the money (or at least 2-3 weeks before the cycle begins). I'm actually a bit confused on the timing of the whole money thing. This is one reason I was freaking out - what if we don't have the money by then?!?! I'm hoping that I can either find time this Thursday before my appointment or Saturday before a luau we are going to in order to go get the loan paperwork so we can get that started (now that we've selected the bank and the loan over the HELOC).

Another reason I was freaking out was because my current RE's office was listing all these different tests that I'm supposed to have done before starting IVF and well, I'm just wanting the tests that we need done to apply for shared risk. The other tests I'll get done at the other RE's office once I'm approved. There's a little bit more to it than that, but I won't go into it here. I just had to call the other clinic twice for information today and it isn't like I have the time to do that right now! And we are ditching our land line today so I had to call the phone company, and I called our mortgage company twice regarding loans and PMI. My mind was just spinning and I couldn't focus on anything in particular.

I'm just anxious about all of this. I want to get started so much! I'm going to e-mail the nurse at the shared risk clinic tomorrow to see about getting on the calendar next cycle (I hope) or the one after that - we'll see! I'm new to this IVF stuff, so I'm still learning about all the steps involved.

Well, I'm tired so I need to go to bed. I didn't get a chance to read any blogs today, but hopefully, tomorrow!

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Monday, August 14, 2006

Tidbits of News

First, I still have no clue what we're doing to get $$$ for the IVF shared risk program. We went to talk to another bank this morning, and I'm just incredibly confused and nervous about the whole thing. Really, the decision is whether to get a home equity loan or a home equity line of credit. I'm not sure! And let me just say that I don't want to borrow money to do this, but it feels like it is the best option for us so we can get started without too much delay. Hopefully, with using the part of the medical costs associated with this and the interest off the loan/line of credit on our taxes, we'll get a good size tax refund to help pay back whatever we get from the bank.

Second, just a cute story. Sophie, one of my kitties, is upstairs in our office with me and she's sitting on the window sill looking outside (don't worry, there is no way she could fall down) and the wind is blowing through her long fur and she looks like she is having the best time right now with the nice breeze. So cute!

Third, I went on a walk the other night with a friend of mine from work. I told her of our plans to get a loan/line of credit and she thinks that it would be a bad idea for us. She gives me all these doomsday scenarios to sufficiently freak me out about it. And it kinda annoyed me. It's not like I want to do this, but I really don't see much of a choice for me right now...unless my grandmother suddenly decides to lend me the money (I'm not holding my breath). Plus, I feel like we'll be able to pay a good portion of it with our tax refund and along the way through these cycles. I don't think it will bankrupt us or even close to doing that. And if it doesn't work, we'll get 70% of our money back! But I hope and pray that it works (the sooner, the better)!!! We've made our decision that this is the route we are going to take. I just don't need to be scared about this even more so than I already am! Oh and after she asked me if I was sick of hearing about her leg injury, I jokingly asked her if she was sick of me talking about my infertility treatments, and she responded with "I don't have to sit next to you anymore" - what does that mean? She is sick of me talking about this? Are my friends sick of me talking about this?

Fourth, it's completely ridiculous of me to even have a miniscule amount of hope, but I have a teensy bit of hope that the 1 in a zillion chance of us conceiving naturally will happen this cycle. I don't know why I feel this way because I know that there really is NO chance of it happening naturally, but I can't help myself. I'm holding on to our one last hope before we move onto IVF. My husband told me yesterday before I even told him my silly little feelings of hope that he was feeling the same way. However, this morning, my temp appears to have dropped - which, even though this cycle has been incredibly long, seems like too soon for the luteal phase to be over. My luteal phase has always seemed to have been around 14 days no matter when ovulation happened - that is, before the last IUI cycle when the luteal phase was so very short. So I don't know what to think - AF could be showing up tomorrow or the next day or the temp could've been wrong. I'll see soon.

And finally, I got my Garmin Forerunner! I can't wait to use it. Perhaps tomorrow during my walk at lunch!

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Saturday, August 12, 2006

"Glamour" Article

I found this article over at Nickie's World - it's a good article on being an "infertile in a baby-crazed world".


IVF Financing & Other Tidbits of Info

This cycle is taking forever! Today is CD36! I'm guessing I have around a week to go before AF shows up.

This morning after our walk/run around Greenlake, my husband and I went to a couple different banks to look into financing IVF under the shared risk program (hoping that we are accepted into the program). We're going to a third on Monday (since they only have loan people there during the week) to see what they can offer us. It's all a bit scary to me. The last thing I ever thought I would have to do was borrow money to have a baby. And I certainly don't want any more debt than I currently have with my house, car and school loans, but I don't see any other way. I can't wait forever - there is still that ticking clock to contend with. I want to try IVF before it could be too late. I know in the scheme of things, I'm only (almost) 33, so I do have some time, but I'm afraid waiting another year would only risk my FSH going too high or whatever. I just don't think I can risk it, and I know, emotionally, there is no way I could wait a year.

Anyway, to end this post I have a little funny thing to share. My husband is currently taking some classes in order to get his Bachelor's degree (in Biology), and he's taking a couple night classes in the fall while working full-time. He'll have class 4 nights a week, so he told me one day that we would never see each other*. I told him that isn't true, we'll see each other at our RE appointments! :-D There's nothing like making a baby with a husband you will probably only see (except weekends) at a doctor's office!

* So my husband, because he said we wouldn't see each other as much this fall, has decided it was finally time for him to get a cell phone so perhaps he could at least talk to me on the phone before his class or during breaks. It will be nice for him to have a cell - now we can ditch the land line! So after going to a couple banks this morning, we got him a cell phone.

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Friday, August 11, 2006

Food Coma

My company just had a big picnic for all of the corporate employees - I ate too much. I need to take a nap now. So sleepy. If only I could take a nap. After work tonight, I'm going to walk 5 miles with a friend from work. I hope I can find some energy before then.

I was really, really hoping that my Garmin Forerunner would be here by now when I saw that it was in Bellevue earlier this morning, but no. It will probably be delivered tomorrow (I had it delivered to my work), so I will have to wait until Monday to use it. :-( Surprisingly, the free shipping didn't take as long as I thought it would (though I always seem to get my stuff from Amazon a lot sooner than when they said it would come).


Thursday, August 10, 2006

Thoughts on "Unsung Lullabies" #2

I just finished reading Unsung Lullabies, and I just had a few thoughts on some of the things that they said. My thoughts are a bit jumbled - just a warning!

First of all, I am really glad that I read this book.

One of the main things that I got out of the book is that thoughts that we have, like being jealous of pregnant women; not wanting to go to baby showers or kid's birthday parties; feeling guilt over our infertility; making decisions on the hope that a baby will come; feeling selfish for wanting our own biological child and using ART to get there; etc., this is all normal to feel (though not everyone will have these thoughts as each person handles this struggle differently). It is normal to be angry and bitter and jealous and irritated and sad and ready to cry at the smallest things. After all, infertility is hard to go through. When each of us grew up, we never expected our lives to be like this - we expected to get pregnant with no problem because that is what women do. So when our life plans take a detour, it is only natural to be upset by it.

There were points in the book that made me think of my own story on this infertility rollercoaster. One of those points is dealing with family get-togethers and feeling like children still because we don't have children of our own. Basically, we feel left out of the parent club. I have an aunt who, in the past, has made different gifts for the mothers for mother's day. One time I was back at home in Spokane around Mother's Day and I think the gift was a blanket, and it made me feel so bad that I wasn't being given this gift too. Then another time, after we had just got our 2nd kitty, I was talking to my mom and how she told my uncle about us getting another kitty, and he said, without knowing our struggle, "Another cat? Why don't they have a kid?" or something like that. It just made me feel awful. This book talks about dealing with these situations - though I'm not sure what I could have said in either situation.

Whatever we do while we are struggling with infertility, we will question we are making the right decision. I've already touched on this in a recent post, so I won't go into it much more, but I did want to talk about how they said one of the things we will naturally question is our belief in God. There have been so many times that I have wondered if there really is a God, and if there is, why is He letting this happen to me? Why does He let this happen to so many wonderful couples? Why does He let some people have children who will abuse them in some way? This afternoon, I read a story about a parent who put their child into a dryer! How is crap like this not supposed to question my belief in God? The point they made with this is that everyone who has a belief in God will naturally start to question their faith, especially as you go further on this rollercoaster ride.

Another point in the book was when they were talking about our desire to have a baby rush into our arms when they were scared or just wanted some love. It reminded me of this time not too long ago when my almost 4 year old niece got scared and came running up the stairs at my parents' place and came running into my arms. I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but that feeling when she came running to me to console her just made it even stronger. One of the women that they quote in the book said it perfectly - each month is like we experience a "little death" when AF shows up.

Another topic that they talk about is whether or not we are being selfish for using ART. I know I've thought about this, but I just cannot give up on my hopes to get pregnant. Not yet. They say that although "adoption is a wonderful choice", the choice to go there shouldn't be made because we are feeling guilty for wanting to experience pregnancy. It wouldn't be fair to the baby we adopt and it wouldn't be fair to us. I have to say that reading this made me feel better about this whole process.

And after we get pregnant, there is still so much that we worry about. We don't feel as if we are out of the woods even after we get that positive beta result. I know I won't feel that I've truly made it off the rollercoaster until I have my baby in my arms. And even then, the grief that we went through while going through infertility will hit us very hard - infertility will always be a part of us.

One of the last points I want to bring up is that they talk about it is o.k. to vent - it is normal to vent, so my venting the other day - the book said it was o.k.:-D Not only is it o.k. - it is to be expected and to be encouraged even! They said it isn't good to keep your feelings inside, so good thing for blogs, support groups, family members and friends who are willing to listen! Speaking of...I guess there is one more thing I want to part of the book a woman talks about feeling as if her friends are sick of hearing all about her struggle with infertility. I often wonder that too, but I suppose they don't need to read this blog if they are sick of hearing about it!

Anyway, I would recommend this book to anyone going through infertility or even friends or family members of those going through infertility. Now, I'm going to continue reading the Couples' Guide to IVF! I got a little sidetracked with the Lullabies book!

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I think I need this shirt... after all, I am extra bitter with all this infertility crap and with the job stuff.

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Monday, August 07, 2006

Thoughts on "Unsung Lullabies" - #1

I'm not done with the book, but I had some initial thoughts I wanted to write down...

The book talks about how some women and men will sacrifice their career or whatever because they are trying to have a baby and how some, if not all, feel guilty about the choices they had made when the baby doesn't appear to be coming. I know I've felt that way on numerous occasions.

One of the reasons I initially took the job at the company I'm working at was that I would be allowed to work pretty much just 40 hours a week (rarely would I need to work more than that). I wanted to work in such an environment and not a law firm because I thought 40 hours a week is better than 80 when raising a child! If I hadn't wanted a family, I probably would have gone to a law firm. And now that the family hasn't happened yet almost 5 years later, I feel like I sacrificed my career for something that I'm not sure will ever happen. And it frustrates me. And when I have my current company tell me things that apparently aren't true, it pisses me off even more that I sacrificed my career for them. To be fair, most of the time, it is a good place to work, but I really do feel like I was lied to when they turned down not one but two CLEs. How the hell am I supposed to feel? My emotions are already are bubbling at the surface. The littlest thing, as evidenced by my reaction to what happened at my job, can set me off and make me feel miserable. I'm forcing myself to go exercise when I really would rather just stay at my house and curl up into a ball.

The book talks about recognizing that the feelings I describe above can find their root in my struggle with infertility. I do recognize that to certain degree, but that doesn't make things better. I hate all of this. I wish I didn't feel this way. I want my life to be normal.

Update: After working out, I do feel better. I'm down to irritated rather than pissed about the whole job thing.

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Pissed Off

This probably isn't going to make much sense to some of you - I just needed to vent - but here's a short recap. A few months ago, I applied for a different position within the company and told my boss about it because I needed to get some information from her. They gave me a promotion and told me that they would pay for CLEs that cover what I work on. One of the reasons for me wanting to leave, other than boredom, was that I was feeling underappreciated by the higher ups and that they were giving this one attorney more opportunities than me. I decided to stay in my current department after the promotion was given to me and because they would pay for some of the CLEs that I need to take. I felt obligated to since my boss was being so nice to me and because she knew all about the infertility, and I didn't feel like having to explain that to someone else.

Anyway, as to the reason why I'm pissed. I feel like my boss values me, but no one else in this stupid company does. It doesn't help that last week, the VP is willing to give credit to someone else other than me on a project I completed.

Maybe it is like what the book says that I'm reading in that because my body doesn't want to cooperate in getting pregnant, I feel like other parts of me are failures too. I don't know, but I do know that I'm pissed. They SAID that they would pay for CLEs that have something to do with what I do, but that was all a bunch of crap to keep me in this crappy position. I can't believe that I was swayed by everyone to stay here because I owed it to my boss to stay here after all they've done for me. I wish I would have continued to pursue that other position in this company.

Right now, I'm planning to send out a resume to another local company and any place else that I can find that sounds at least a little better than my current job does - and really, that won't take much to be better.

Perhaps all will be o.k. Perhaps all will be better later and perhaps I'm overreacting, but it isn't just the CLE that I'm pissed about. This has been brewing for a long time. It isn't like I haven't looked elsewhere before.


Sunday, August 06, 2006

Inpatiently waiting for AF and my weekend

It's not often that I actually want AF to show up, so it is kind of annoying that my cycle is going to be so long this time! Today is CD30. As soon as AF shows up, I'm calling to make an appointment for CD3 to have the SHG test done (as apparently that is the test my RE would rather do that than the HSG) and the CD3 bloodwork. Also, my husband and I are, hopefully, going to different banks this week to get financing for IVF. Hopeflly, very soon we will be on our first IVF cycle.

This weekend was an o.k. one. I walked around Greenlake with a friend on Friday night, then went back to her place for a little bit while our hubbies were finishing playing their game. Saturday, I went to Colman Park to go watch the Blue Angels fly around the city (they come every year for Seafair). I love watching the Blue Angels fly around. When I was younger, since my dad was in the Air Force, we used to watch the Thunderbirds more so than the Blue Angels. The Thunderbirds are fun to watch too. Anyway, after the show, we had to hike back up some steep hills back to my friend's car and it SUCKED. It was hot and I am out of shape (though I am trying to fix that problem) and felt really nauseous on the way up. It's kinda sad really that I let myself get so out of shape. I'm trying to get back into shape and to lose some weight as I figure that might be a good idea to lose some weight before I start IVF and hopefully, get pregnant. Plus, I'll look better and feel better about myself.

So this morning (speaking of my effort to get into shape), I walked around Greenlake a couple times while my husband and a friend ran around the lake. It was actually really nice to walk around it a couple times, even though I was a little tired at the end, but I think I could've gone around another time but I knew my husband and friend would be done soon.

Also, I had $75 worth of certificates, so I ordered this so I can keep track of how far I've walked. I asked for free shipping, so it will be a while before it gets here, unfortunately. I was saving my certificates to buy the 2nd season of Lost, but since I haven't really watched the first season that I got and I will get more benefit out of this than the DVDs, I decided this was better use of the certificates.

Oh, and thanks to Jenny for recommending "Unsung Lullabies". I went and borrowed it from the library yesterday and there is so much in there that I can relate to. It is a really good book so far.

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Wednesday, August 02, 2006


I've been tagged by Vanilla Dreams! I love doing these things! O.K. Here it goes...

Four Jobs I've Had In My Life:

1)Student Coordinator (@ a dorm on the UW campus)
2)Bank Teller
3)Law Clerk at the WA Attorney General's Office
4)Research Analyst (current position)

Four movies I watch over and over:

1) Say Anything
2) The Cutting Edge
3) Pride and Prejudice (the one with Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy - love it)
4) Bridget Jones (I like Colin Firth)

Four places I have lived:

1) Fairbanks, Alaska
2) Tampa, Florida
3) Texas (many different places - Witchita Falls, Lake Worth, Roanoke, Azle)
4) Washington (many different places - Spokane, Tacoma, Seattle, and Shoreline

Four TV shows I love:

1) Lost
2) Grey's Anatomy
3) Survivor (can't help myself)
4) Scrubs

Four places I have been on vacation:

1) Maui, HI
2) Oahu, HI
3) New York City, NY
4) Anaheim, CA (Disneyland!)

Four websites I visit daily:

1) Many, many blogs
2) Hotmail (gotta check my e-mail)
3) News sites (MSNBC, CNN)
4) And more blogs!

Four of my favorite foods:

1) Chicken Parmesan
2) Thai - usually chicken curry or pad thai
3) Potatoes in all its forms (it's the Irish in me!)
4) A good smoked turkey sandwich

Four places I would rather be right now:

1) Anywhere in which I am pregnant
2) Somewhere in Hawaii
3) Somewhere in the Caribbean
4) Europe

Four favorite bands/singers:

There are too many that I like to just pick four!

1) Dave Matthews Band
2) Sarah McLachlan
3) Coldplay
4) My new favorite is Snow Patrol.

Here are some people I will tag (and they only have to do this if they want):-)

1) Alli @ Secondary Infertility
2) Mary Ellen & Steve @ Our IVF Journey
3) Ms. C @ It Could Take 3 Months
4) GLouise @ Waiting for a Miracle


Guess what?

Guess what finally happened? My temp went up! So perhaps in the next couple weeks, I will go get that testing done - not that I'm looking forward to it - I just want to get things started!


Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Some More Misc. Thoughts

Work has kept me quite busy the last couple days and tomorrow will be yet another busy one. Supposedly, my coworker comes back from maternity leave on Monday, so that will, at least, take one project off my desk (and I am very much looking forward to that aspect of her coming back). However, with her coming back, you all know what that first day will be like. She will have to share the pictures of her baby and everyone will have to "ooh" and "aah" many times. I know that I'm just jealous of her that she can get pregnant with such ease.

Have I mentioned that I have been invited to vanpool girl's baby shower in September? It's on the 15th (2 days after my birthday) during work hours (yet another during work hours). I won't be going unless some miracle happens and I'm pregnant.

This cycle continues to be weird. My last cycle after the IUI wasn't that weird, but I'm wondering if I'm just going back to my fluctuating ways or are the injectables doing this? Today is CD25 and still no sign of ovulation. Oh, and last post, I meant that I have a fertility monitor. I think I will just wait until next cycle to use that.

My friend from my support group gave me this book tonight of which she recommends. I was really hoping that I would ever need this book, but it looks like it will be a good resource. Has anyone else read it?

Well, that's all for now. We are still working on the financial aspect of paying for IVF, but I hope to have that settled soon because I really want to get going on my first (and I hope, only) cycle! That reminds me. So at my work, we are not allowed to take vacation time the whole month of November (except Thanksgiving) and half of December because I work for a large retailer and well, that's our busy time. It doesn't matter that my department is rarely busy at that time, but we must all follow the rules the CEO put down. Anyway, so I asked my boss today about whether I would be allowed to take time off for IVF during that time if that was when our cycle would take place (I hope it will be sooner, but who knows). She said that she wasn't sure, but we can certainly talk to the higher ups about it. Wow, there's is nothing I would love to do more than go to my VP or Senior VP and ask if I can have time off for IVF (please note my sarcasm). She said I could probably take the time needed if I used my sick days, but we'll see. Perhaps this is all a moot subject because our first cycle will be in September or October (seems like an eternity from now)! Then we'll wait a bit, then do the next cycle.

O.K. That's really all for now. :-D

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