One Thing

I was just washing my hands in the nice warm water and it made me think of a nice warm shower and that then reminded me of my time in the hospital. Why? Because if there is one thing that I miss from being in the hospital when I was pregnant with the twins - it's the jacuzzi. It felt so nice on my back and it was nice and warm. Oh, to have a jacuzzi. I can dream.

Anyway, last night the kids wanted to go to the park and well, normally I would take them, but it is already starting to get dark by the time I get them. We would be at the park for maybe 20 minutes before the sun went down...which, I guess, is at least, a bit of exercise, but my kids would want to stay even after the sun went down. So we went home instead - I feel bad about that because what do we do when get home? I let them watch 1/2 hour of tv while I make dinner (and my lunch for the next couple days). I need an indoor place close by to take them to when the weather is icky and dark.

As soon as we get home, Ella wants to put on her jammies. Not only that, she wants to put on a pull up. It frustrates me - not the jammies, but the pull up. I've decided I'm not even introducing them to Nicholas even if we have some extra 2T size for him to wear. It definitely prolongs things. So, for those of you who haven't gone through the potty training exercise - don't use them. Just get some waterproof underwear that they can wear.

I also feel that because the daycare wants Benjamin in pullups that he has regressed. He used to be good at least going pee - now, he just seems lazy about it. I told them that this is going to stop. As soon as we get home, it's to the potty and Benjamin is putting on underwear. If they want to watch a show, this is what they must do. And no more stickers for going pee - it's all for poo. However, I've tried bribing them with gifts and that just doesn't work. Although, I've heard you have to get the toy, let them play with it once,then put it back up until they start going potty. I'm just not certain that will work for my kids. Potty training is seriously the worst part of parenting so far. Sure, in the beginning, I was pulling out my hair because my infant twins were crying and I couldn't figure out why, but that seems like a cakewalk compared to this. I seriously want to throw in the towel sometimes and wonder what I was thinking. Of course, soon after that, my kids do or say something completely adorable and then I remember. The good times do certainly outweigh the bad.

Oh, and one more thing - blech on the election. People are so irritating. We'll just keeping on this ride of back and forth for the rest of time. And WTH people in WA state!?!?! Right now, I-1100 is losing! I. Just. Don't. Understand!!! (for those outside our state - I-1100 would have privatized spirits sales and done away with some regulations too that really shouldn't be there.)

Alright, back to work. Until tomorrow.

Pregnancy Talk & Remembering Hospital Bedrest Days

On this day last year, I went into work and worked my half-day. I then went home for a bit before heading off to my ultrasound appointment. Little did I know that when I left my house that day, I wouldn’t see my kitties or my home for a little over 5 weeks. It’s hard to believe that it’s been a year since I started my hospital bedrest. I guess that means my babies will be one year old in just under 5 weeks. Time does really fly.

Yesterday afternoon, I learned that one of the women in my vanpool is pregnant with her first child. I’m really happy for her and her husband although I do have to admit to being just a bit jealous. That pang of jealousy just doesn’t go away, does it? I don't know why I feel so jealous anymore. I have two wonderful babies that I adore more than anything in this world, but yet I can't seem to flip that switch off from infertile. Although the pain isn’t nearly as strong as it once was, thankfully. It reminds me of someone telling you to get over something that hurt you way back when, but sometimes things just stay there and no matter what you do, you can't stop thinking the way you did way back then. It's just hard. I'm sure some of you understand what I'm saying.

However, I do have to say it’s great timing because if she has a girl, I have been looking for someone to give some newborn girl clothes to. I also have some boy stuff too, so if she has a boy, she can get some clothes for me in the bigger sizes. She’ll find out in the next month or so.

Speaking of pregnant people, I suppose everyone in the IF land (and beyond, really) is talking about this family today. 18 KIDS! I know I’ve said it before, but how many full-term pregnancies can one body take? Perhaps we’ll find out with this woman. It seems just like yesterday when I was remarking on her being pregnant with #17 (oh wait, it pretty much was).

Back to being anxous (31 weeks 4 days)

This morning has been full of many contractions. Just when I think things were getting better contraction wise, they get worse again. I had so many they gave me a terb. shot - which is not fun to take as it makes you very jittery. My doctor increased my dosage of the pill I was taking for contractions from 60 mg to 90 mg - hopefully, that will do the trick and I won't have to do the terb. shot for a while or ever again). I was on the monitor for over 4 hours this morning because of the contractions.

Also, because of the contractions, my ultrasound was pushed back. Usually, they come in the morning, but after they took me off the monitor, they were to come any moment now. I'm still waiting for them to come get me for it. I was waiting until after the ultrasound to order my lunch, but I can't wait anymore so I ordered something that hopefully will be alright if I'm gone for awhile after it gets here (a salsd with the dressing on the side and some potato chips). It would be nice to know exactly when they will be coming! I keep thinking I hear them outside my door with the bed to roll me down there, but nope. I'm back to being anxious about what the ultrasound might show - I hope my cervix has stayed at 1.6 cm or got even longer! My OB doesn't seem worried (she stopped by), but I think she also wants to know what the ultrasound might show.

Well, that's all for now - I'll write more later. Thank you to the visitors I had this morning!

Oh, to answer Jessica's question, I'm at Swedish on First Hill.

1 week 1 day of hospital bedrest (31 weeks 3 days)

I got a call last night from the person who is handling my claim for maternity leave last night and everything is settled. Unfortunately, because of this time in the hospital, it will cut into the time I will have with my babies. :-(

Not much else to report for today. The contractions have slowed back down again which is really good. I'm starting to take more naps while in the hospital - the tv that's on during the day can be quite boring. I ended up watching Maury again today and this time it was all about 14-15 year old girls who want to have a lot of sex and get pregnant. I can't imagine having a child like these girls who talked back to their mother in that way and acted the way that they did. Speaking of mothers, today is my mom's b-day. Happy birthday!!!

Looking forward to tomorrow as it will be another ultrasound day - hopefully, I'll get some more good news! And it is always nice to leave this room. It's just been a little over a week and I am so tired of being here! I'm still waiting to find out when I'll be moved to a bigger room - it seems they have a full house right now so it may not be for a while.

Thank you to my visitors of today!!! It does make the time go by a lot faster when there are people here to talk to, so thank you!

More News

My OB came by earlier today and said that if things continue to stay stable and/or get better, it is possible I may be able to go home - but not for a couple of weeks she said. She also thinks that I might be able to make it to 36 weeks, but it is still one day at a time.

Today is the first day I haven't had any visitors other than my husband - Jon will be here later after he has had a chance to do things at home. It's fine as I took a nap that I think I desperately needed.

A lot of people have asked me if I need anything while I'm here - I figured it out - snacks. I need snacks. I'm not sure what though - I need to figure that out.

O.K. That's all for now.

Frustrated & More Good News (31 weeks 2 days)

I am so frustrated by the company that will be paying my salary while I am out on maternity leave. I am being told that despite having 13 weeks of paid time off for maternity leave that I will only get 6 week of paid time off after I deliver. This doesn't make any sense to me. My employer gives me 13 weeks, so I should get 13 weeks. Are they seriously telling me that despite only being off work for 1 week that if I delivered tomorrow, I won't get 12 more weeks, but I'll only get 1/2 that? I e-mailed my employer to verify and yes, I do get 13 weeks paid time off now if only the company that's actually giving me my salary would understand that. I just got really emotional this morning about this b/c I want to spend my maternity time with my babies when they come and not sitting at the hospital watching tv or blogging or whatever before they come. I also got emotional because things I thought I had dealt with are still there - like getting pregnant through IVF rather than naturally - having to go to the hospital for several weeks, etc. I'm feeling better now - the last thing I need is stress after things were getting better.

And I do have some more good news - I only have to be monitored 2 times a day and now I only have to have my blood sugar tested two days a week! So I have today off - yay!

Oh, and thank you to Nickie for coming to visit the other day and for bringing some DVDs and magazines!!

Day 6 of Hospital Bed Rest (31 weeks 1 day)

Well, I have great news. After the ultrasound, I was told that everything looks stable - nothing had changed, but later when I was talking to the nurse, she said that my cervix actually went from 7 mm to 1.6 cm. I commented that I didn't think that it could grow - she said it can't, but that something to do with gravity not pulling down on the cervix may have helped it close up a bit again - I think from the inside as it did look a little smaller on the inside when they were doing the ultrasound, but I just thought I didn't know any better - after all, last week, I thought it looked the same as the time before when it wasn't. I'm waiting for my OB to come by and explain things a little bit more.

In other great news, a friend of mine from my support group delivered her twin boys yesterday. Both babies weighed just under 5 pounds. I'm looking forward to meeting her babies!

Thank you to my visitors of today - yes, I did end up having visitors, which is really, really nice - including a cutie pie 3 month old! One of my visitors came while I was at the ultrasound, so I'm sad I missed her and her 2 month old sweetie.

Well, that's my news for today! Some great news - if only it meant I could leave the hospital!

31 weeks 1 day

I've made it to 31 weeks. Only a few more weeks to go. I have an ultrasound sometime today to check on my cervix again. I'm anxious about it b/c I'm nervous the cervix has thinned out some more, especially since the contractions are picking back up again. I think they may be giving me more medication to slow them down again - I'm waiting for the nurse to come in with my meds for this morning.

The other day I mentioned that Jon gave me a monkey for Mother's Day. Jon, a while back , told me that because Christmas has Santa Claus and Easter has the Easter Bunny that Mother's Day needed something, so there is now the Mother's Day monkey. I asked what he wants Father's Day to be, he said Father's Day fruitbat. Yes, my husband is silly.

I'll write again later once I have news from the ultrasound.

Happy Mother's Day (30 weeks 6 days)

(This post written out throughout the whole day)

Right now as I'm writing this, I'm hanging out in my room looking at a magazine that my husband brought me and looking at stuff on the internet (though I still can't access bloglines or for some reason read blogspot blogs but I can post still - I have all this time now to read many blogs and I can't access them)! My husband is coming here a little bit later after spending some with our kitties - I miss them so much!!! And Jon told me that Sophie heard the front door open and close while she was eating her breakfast yesterday morning and she trotted into the livingroom to see what was going on - I'm going to choose to believe she was hoping it was me coming in the door. Jon was in the kitchen so she knew it wasn't him (it was my brother leaving the house).

I just had a visit from one of the OB's at my OB's clinic - before I leave here, I will have met each and every one of the OB's in that office probably. My OB called me yesterday to see how things were going - that was really nice. She told me I'd see her on Tuesday which I guess when I have my next ultrasound.

Awww - the nurse just took out my IV port. So nice as it was becoming itchy. Also, they took me off the antibiotics as it turns out I don't have an infection. One less pill to take.

I just had a couple friends come visit which was really nice. I love having visitors - it's too bad that it's a little cramped in this room though. Thank you both for coming today!!!

My husband is here visiting with me now - we played some games (though there is only so much sitting up that I can handle - it just feels awkward and I don't want our baby girl pressing on my cervix that much or at all really) and now we're watching "Walk the Line". So far, it's a good movie. At 8 though, I want to watch the finale of Survivor.

For Mother's Day this year, my husband got me a card and a monkey (there's a story behind that - I'll have to explain later - maybe tomorrow) and the card is "redeemable" for a glider.

Well, that's all for now.

Day 4 of Hospital Bed Rest (30 weeks 5 days)

I'm starting to think that the weekends may be the worst in terms of boredom around here - nothing on tv with the limited stations I have and there is only so much web surfing and reading I can do. But if all this means that my babies will come in a month or more, it is all worth it. Just taking it one day at a time.

I just had a friend of mine come by with her newborn twin girls born on Tuesday afternoon - they are so tiny! I held both of them as she took a picture of the 5 of us. :-) I am just so happy for her and her husband. Her babies were born at 36 weeks and are around the same size my babies are right now. I can't believe I have two of those babies in me! It just makes me so happy knowing how far all of us in my support group have come. Another friend, just down the hall from me, is being induced on Monday to deliver her twin boys.

As far as an update, things are going well. The contractions have slowed down and the babies are still doing great (though they really don't like being on the monitor all too much, especially our baby girl).

Thank you to the visitors that came by yesterday and today, I really appreciate it!

In the Hospital

Hi everyone - this is Heather here in the hospital. I got a laptop so I can access the internet while I'm here - but for some reason, I've trouble accessing bloglines so I can see what others have written so it may be a while before I'll read and comment on blogs.

My husband updated you on things that happened on Wednesday that we had an u/s on Wednesday which showed the babies were doing well, but my cervix had shortened even more to 7 mm (from 2 cm). The doctor there sent me over to my OB's office and she immediately sent me to the hospital. They hooked me up to monitors and found I was contracting (I had felt some here and there before, but I had no idea it was happening that frequently). So I got medication for that and steroids to help their lungs mature (that shot stings much like the IM shots we had to do for IVF). I got another steroid shot last night and I'm going to be getting the contraction medication 3 x a day. I've also been given medication for a possible infection (UTI) and acid reflux. They also gave me some Benadryl to help me sleep and some medication to help with the lovely constipation issue. So many medications!!! Oh, and Wednesday, they hooked me up to an IV to get some extra fluids into me as they felt I was a bit dehydrated.

The contraction medication has helped slow down the contractions, but I'm still having some here and there. Some I feel - others I don't.

The first night here was rough for me - I couldn't sleep at all b/c of anxiety of the whole situation and acid reflux. Last night was a lot better b/c of the Benadryl. I did wake up at 4:30 b/c I was feeling contractions and the nurse immediately put the monitors on and gave me some medication which helped.

I just got back from an ultrasound and things are stable - the cervix is still at 7 mm and the amniotic fluid is still good, so it looks like this bedrest is helping.
One thing that I don't like about being here is that I miss my kitties a lot - I wish I had known when I left to go my u/s appointment on Wed that I wasn't coming back home.

Well, I think that's all for now. Thank you to everyone for your kind words - I really appreciate it. Also, thank you to Ally, Paul, my mom-in-law and brother-in-law who visited with me yesterday! I really appreciated it! I look forward to those who might be coming today (but obviously if something comes up, I would understand. Plus, I'll be here for a while yet (I hope).