Ho hum

Not much to say today either. All three kids went to get flu shots today - for Ben & Ella it was #2 and for Nicholas, it was #1. Nicholas needs to go back in a month for #2. And I should say that Ben & Ella's was a nasal spray not a shot - which I guess is better for them. They won't scream as much with that as they would the shot. I guess Nicholas didn't cry at all with the shot - that is surprising. Jon took all 3 since I'm stuck at work. Blech.

Tonight, the UW have a 5 p.m. game. My vanpool leaves at 4:30 - hopefully, most people will be at UW by the time we leave so the commute isn't as bad as people keep saying it will.

Blogging every day when you really don't have much to say is rather annoying.

2 posts in one day!

So the babies have been really easy to take care of today - they've slept pretty much the entire day except when they are eating and even then, they don't seem to have quite the appetite today as they usually do. Also, when Ella does eat, she seems to spit it right back up (again, more so than usual). I was just reading that all of this is normal, but it still has me a bit worried! Hopefully, they'll be back to their normal selves by tomorrow! I like seeing them talk to the toys on their play mats and smiling at me!

Another Blog Post I Can't Think of a Title For

I really, really wish that this one woman wouldn't drive our van. She is such a horrible driver. She jerks the van around way too much, and well, this isn't a good thing ever, but especially not when you're nauseous.

I just walked over to a nearby restaurant to pick up my lunch and the lunch of two others to bring back to the office. I thought that the walk would do me good, but it actually caused quite a bit of pain that it actually hurt to move. The only time it felt better was when I was sitting down, and it didn't matter that this weird guy kept staring at me. Not sure what that was about, but I was thankful to be sitting down for a bit.

I wish I could go in for another ultrasound now just to make sure that "Unter" and "Uber" are doing well and growing like they should. Just 5 more days until this next ultrasound - thankfully, this one is at 10:30 in the morning so I won't have to be anxious all morning like I was with the ultrasound on Monday. They tell me that if everything looks good, I will be released to a general OB. I'm hoping everything looks good with both babies.

Another thing I'm looking forward is to the day I won't have to do any more PIO shots - the last day will be on December 18. That next day will be a very good day.

Oh, and I haven't mentioned yet that my sister will be going in for a biopsy on her breast on the 7th. I hope everything goes well there too.

Stupid weather

Because of the icy conditions in the area, I stayed home from work per the state patrol's suggestion. After seeing the news, it looked like a good idea. However, they showed the news later, and I think I could have made it to work, but it really wasn't worth the risk. However, I HAVE to go in tomorrow. I wish I would have known that I was going to be at home all day, I would have had the pharmacy ship the PIO and needles to my home instead of my work. And I NEED the drug and the needles for Thursday, so I have to make the trek into work tomorrow. Would it be bad if I missed a day of the progesterone?

One of the ladies in my vanpool said that they are going to go into work from 7 to 3:30, so I have to be at the transit center by 6:15 if I would like to join them. Yuck! This means doing the PIO shot even earlier than we normally do. Hopefully, that won't be an issue. I told her that since I have no desire to drive myself to work tomorrow especially since they say more icky weather is on its way. I really don't like this type of weather - I really think I need to move somewhere where it never snows and never gets icy.

My husband braved the elements today and went into work via the bus. He got in quite a bit later than normal and well, he's not home yet and usually, he's home by now. Luckily, the college he's taking classes at cancelled classes for tonight, so he's coming home. He didn't go to classes last night either, of which I was grateful for - I really didn't want him driving in the mess I had just come home from.

I'm sure that people in other parts of the world are laughing at people in Seattle not being able to drive in this mess. We're just not used to snow and icy conditions. It's actually more the ice that I'm nervous about than the snow.

9dp5dt

You guys, I’m going crazy. It’s only (almost) 11:30 a.m. on Monday. The last 24 hours seem to be going at a snail’s pace. I can’t stand it! Oh, I ended up going to bed last night at 8:15! 8:15!!!

I woke up this morning not feeling so good (AF-like cramps, nausea), but again, I’m not sure if it’s because of the side effects of the PIO or pregnancy. I’m hoping the latter. Speaking of the PIO, I now have little bumps on the sites where the PIO shots are being done. They are so itchy! It is really kinda annoying because I can’t be scratching at my desk!

My sister just wrote me to tell me that not only did she have that dream (which I think I blogged about a while back, but I don’t feel like looking for it) in which she saw this cycle will be the one that works for us, but my uncle also had this premonition that this cycle works too. I hope they’re right!

There are moments that I think that yes, this IVF definitely worked. I definitely feel pregnant. Then I can’t help it, but that negative thought keeps popping back into my head – we’ve always had negatives, why would we finally be lucky? That feeling I have of being pregnant could just be the progesterone.

However, despite those annoying negative thoughts, right now, I’m going to act like I am pregnant until told otherwise.

I’m not exactly sure when the news will come tomorrow. I plan to ask them tomorrow when they plan to call, but I just want to tell friends and family – though I know you already know this – wait until we contact you. I’m sure if it is good news, you will know right away…maybe. We’ll see. I’ve never gotten positive news, so I don’t know what we’re going to do. I may want to go outside and shout it out to the world. I may want some time to just celebrate with my husband before letting everyone know.

Either way, I’m sure I’ll post the news at some point tomorrow.

Until then, I’ll leave you a quote from the Dixie Chicks song “I Hope”

“I hope, for more love, more joy and laughter
I hope, we'll have more than we'll ever need
I hope, we'll have more happy ever after
I hope, we can all live more fearlessly
And we can lose all the pain and misery
I hope, I hope”

Answers

To answer Alli's question, I was told that my clinic won't take the sharps containers to dispose of it for us. You would think with all the money we are paying these guys that would be one service they would provide, but no. The last clinic I went to, they did take it back although they didn't really want to, but since we had it with us, they did. I didn't check hospitals though.


And to answer Lori's question, I will be doing my best to hold off on testing before Tuesday. It will be hard though. I resisted buying a HPT while at Target today.

Update on sharps container

One of the errands I wanted to today was go to Target and pick up another pair of those comfy slipper socks I had for retrieval and transfer that everyone at the RE's office seemed to love as much as I did (well, the women anyway). There was only 2 pairs left of the kind I wanted, so I got one and picked up another pair that supposedly has a cloud on it.

Anyway, while I was there, I thought I would ask the pharmacy if they disposed of sharps containers. They didn't, but she gave me the address of the closest county health drop off box. It was just a few blocks away on the other side of the freeway. This will be nice and convenient since I pick up my husband from class 4 nights a week and this drop off box is right on the way from our house to the college he is taking classes at. And the good thing about this is that it's free! And I just drop it into a box.

Thanks to Jennifer for offering to take the container to drop off at her Fred Meyer. I appreciate the offer. I figured I would just go ahead and do this today on my list of errands.

7dp5dt

Almost there.

I woke up this morning to do the PIO shot, then, unlike last weekend, I was able to fall back asleep even though I went to bed at 10 p.m. (I am so old) the night before. I am exhausted. I can't help it!

When I woke up again a little before 10, I thought my cramps had gone, but no, when I was taking a shower, they decided to return. Though the cramps are very light, unlike on Thursday. While in the shower, I imagined getting the phone call from the RE's office on Tuesday and getting good news. As you can imagine, I was so happy. I hope to get good news on Tuesday. This wait is driving me crazy.

Well, I need to go run some errands, then we are supposedly going over to a friend's house later tonight. So all this activity should keep my mind off things. And I signed up for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) so I have that to do too.

And a quick congrats to Nickie - she got a BFP!!! Congratulations, Nickie!!!

Sharps Container

Thanks to Carol & Jennifer for mentioning where to take the sharps container. I just called the Fred Meyer close by and they take them back for a fee (the fee depends on the size of the container). That makes me happy that I can go the same place to dispose of and purchase a sharps container. Gotta love convenience!

Also, I just have to mention Nickie's comment from this post. Hysterical! That would be so nice if we had that kind of sign!

5dp5dt - Halfway there

I am so nervous and scared this morning. I woke up with the most period-like cramps I’ve had in a while. I am so afraid that this means that the IVF cycle didn’t work. This is exactly how I feel right before AF shows up. Of course, I’ve never been pregnant - maybe some women feel this way when they are pregnant.

I shared my fear with a friend from work and she told me that she thinks my problem with getting pregnant is that I’m not relaxed. And my first reaction is “what about those first 2 years before we went to go see an RE? I was as close to relaxed as one can get and didn’t start getting really nervous until my OB/GYN told me to go see an RE. Not once in those two years did I get pregnant. There is obviously something wrong (like a blocked fallopian tube and who knows what’s going on with the other tube or any other number of issues).” I hate that. I don’t need to hear – just relax. You wouldn’t tell someone who is about to hear other types of life-changing news to just relax, would you? Does just relaxing make it so all medical issues disappear?

I do realize I should relax as there is nothing I can do about my chances of being pregnant now, which is why I asked friends, family, well ,anyone, to help distract me. I went to go see Talladega Nights last night with a support group buddy. It was rather funny – particularly, the outtakes at the end. Those just cracked me up. And after seeing a preview for Borat, I may have to see that movie. I didn’t think I wanted to see it, but after seeing the preview, it looks hysterical.

Anyway, about the conversation with my friend, I promptly changed the subject to where I could drop off my sharps container. She would know since she has to give herself shots because she has diabetes. It turns out I cannot just take them to a pharmacy like the RE’s office said. It seems only the county health department will take them, but I can purchase a new one at most, if not all, pharmacies. That’s kinda inconvenient – you would think you would be able to go to just one place to take care of this stuff, but no.

And ouch – my backside hurts a bit this morning from where this morning’s shot took place. It keeps throbbing. Just ouch!

Well, anyway, I hope I’m wrong about the whole AF-like cramps.

2dp5dt

The alarm goes off at 6, so my husband can give me the PIO shot before he goes to work. I'm hoping I can go back to sleep. Again, no such luck. I feel tired, but I can't sleep. In a little while, I'm going to go read my book on the couch. I'm sure that will put me to sleep...maybe.

Also, I'm hurting a little bit. I don't know if it's from the retrieval still or the transfer, but I hurt. I can only hope that the pain is from our embies implanting themselves...although it's too early for that, isn't it? Hmm, according to fertility friend, implantation can happen on day 7 after ovulation or even earlier.

I wish I didn't have to wait another 8 days!

1dp5dt

8:53 a.m.

The alarm went off at 7 this morning for us to do the PIO shot. I tried to go back to sleep, but that wasn’t happening. I just laid there and listened to some music and prayed that this cycle will work. I have 9 more days until I find out the results. On the one hand, I need time to speed up so it can be November 7, but on the other hand, I need it to go as is so I can make sure I get some work stuff done before November 30.

I still have some cramping this morning and my breasts are so super sore. I’m tired, but I can’t seem to sleep right now. I don’t plan to go to work tomorrow, and I still need to remind my boss of this fact. Well, that’s all for now. As soon as the doctor calls, I’m sure I’ll have more to say.

Ooh, actually, my husband just reminded me of this. I’ve seen on other blogs how some people give silly names to their embryos, and I asked my husband if he wanted to do that and he said no, so we weren’t. Possibly because that would mean we would be getting too attached. But then this morning he said something about “Unter” and “Uber” – which is under and over in German. I asked him why that and he said it was because in the picture, one of the embryos was over the other one and one was under the other one. It’s cute, so I’m sticking with it. I don’t have a scanner so I can’t show the picture to you right now, but my husband said he would scan the picture when he goes into work tomorrow. O.K. that’s really all for now.

Transfer History Pt. 2

From October 28, 2006

8:45 a.m. – After waking up at 7 this morning for the PIO shot, I couldn’t get back to sleep. I checked my e-mail and checked up on some blogs that I read. During that time, I tried to see how long it would take me to drink 16.9 oz of water – about 38 minutes. And I’m supposed to drink 24-32 oz in 30 minutes? Also, I’ve had to go to the bathroom twice since drinking all that water. I really think that 16.9 oz is more than enough to give me a full bladder, but I’ll drink what they told me – or at least, as much as I can of that in 30 minutes.

Right now, I’m downstairs writing while Sophie (one of my furbabies) sleeps on the couch – she is looking so adorable!!! I feel so much love for my kitties – I’m sure I will only feel more when I’m looking at my baby. I’m really anxious about today – how are our embies doing? Did they make it to blast? In just a little over 2 1/2 hours, we’ll know.

Something that I’ve thought about in the last little bit is what if they put back 2 embryos and they both stick. I’m just not sure how I feel about carrying twins. Sure, it might be great to have 2 children right away like that – no more fertility treatments needed, but I’m afraid of having them be born premature. I’m nervous about whether or not I’ll have to be put on bedrest during the last trimester of pregnancy. This may or may not happen, but I do have some concerns in having multiples, but I also don’t want to lose out on a chance to get pregnant if I only put one embryo back in and that doesn’t work, but the other one would have. Although we are in the shared risk program, I really, really don’t want to have to do this all again. I would love it so much if it worked the first time. Wouldn’t we all?

I’m doing my best to visualize this IVF working. Having the embryo or embryos implant. Then on November 7 (the date of the first beta – I think), finding out all of this was worth it by getting a BFP.


On another topic, I’ve been e-mailing the woman in my vanpool who just had a baby. She had told another vanpool person that she was curious how things were going with me, so we e-mailed and she told me she would love for me to come visit her newborn baby. I think I might do that sometime next week before I find out the results of this IVF. She also has a friend who just went through an IVF cycle. Her retrieval was on the 21st and her transfer was on the 24th. She will find out her results the day before me.

Anyway, I once again have to go to the bathroom. I am certain that I have the smallest bladder ever. Then in 1/2 hour, I have to insert the prometrium. Such fun!

PIO

Because I can't stop thinking of this IVF cycle, I was curious what the side effects were for the progesterone. Apparently, I've got a few of those side effects and I feel the need to share them with all of you...

1) The main one being that I'm so freaking tired. I went into work 2 hours late today and I still wasn't sure if I was going to make it through the day.

2) Breast tenderness - which it seems I've been having before starting the PIO (probably because of the other drugs I've been taking).

3) Runny nose and sneezing - it did seem I was sneezing a lot lately, but since I've been sneezing a lot lately before - this one could probably be attributed to allergies. But the runny nose part - that's different. I might have had a stuffed nose before, but now it feels runny a lot of the time.

4) One of the side effects listed is excessive worrying. I know I feel incredibly anxious, but I don't think it has anything to do with this drug.

The next one is a bit TMI

5)Constipation - I thought I was doing alright in this department, but not lately. And also, ever since retrieval, it has hurt to have a full bladder so I'm really not sure how I'll feel on Saturday.

Oh, and speaking of the PIO shots - this morning's shot hurt like hell. I don't know what we did differently, but it hurt. I want to go back to when I barely felt it.

Update & Other Info

There are quite a few things that I want to mention today:

1) Transfer will happen on Saturday! I just got the phone call from the embryologist. She said that 4 of the embryos are at 8 cells and the other 3 are looking good as well (she didn't say how many cells). She said a nurse will call later this afternoon with the exact time. Just in case, this morning, I started to drink some of the water and drinking that much water that quickly just made me feel ill. The instructions said to drink 24-32 oz. in the early morning (but I could go to the bathroom - which I did like 4 times), then an hour before transfer to drink that same amount of water in 30 minutes! Gah! That's way too much water to fill up my bladder. Anywho, that's what's going on with that.

2) Next week is National Infertility Awareness Week.

3) PIO shots - I had been heating up the PIO and using a heating pad before the shot, but I hadn't thought of putting the heating pad on afterwards. That's a good idea - though that might mean I'd have to wake up even sooner (right now, the alarm goes off at 6 and we do the shot about 5-10 minutes later). So far, I haven't had any problems though my back side does feel a little sore.

4) In case some of you are wondering, if you are using an RSS reader, some of my old posts are popping up as new and that's because I'm going back and labeling each post.

Tentative Transfer Day and Time

I heard from the nurse a short time ago. Right now, we have a tentative transfer day of Thursday at 11 a.m. She will call at 8:30 a.m. on Thursday to let us know if we are going forward with transfer that day or if we will be waiting until Day 5 (Saturday). The anticipation!

I finished with my relaxing music playlist on my iPod, so I'm all set!

One thing about transfer I am not looking forward to is having to have a full bladder during the procedure. I remember the last time I had to have a full bladder for a procedure, and well, it wasn't pleasant at all. But, I keep remembering, that this will all be worth it!

Oh, and I also forgot to mention we started the PIO shots this morning, and it wasn't that bad actually. I hardly felt it! I hope that continues!

The Day of No Shots

No shots - no needles whatsoever today. It has been nice.

I got these cute little slipper socks today from Target for tomorrow's retrieval. They are nice and soft.

Well, I don't have anything else right now. I'll post again as soon as I can!

Anxious

The closer I get to the appointment tomorrow, the more anxious I am. I am so anxious to hear what, if anything, the stim drugs have done so far. I hope that I hear some great news tomorrow. Those in my group said tonight that they would be surprised if I didn't have great results based on my last IUI that I had with the Repronex. I hope they're right. I'll know bright and early tomorrow morning!

Speaking of Repronex, the RE's handout for the injectables talks about the Repronex stinging (which it did), but not the Menopur - that stings too!

Random Stuff

Well, last night’s commute was actually quite nice. The rain had stopped and there wasn’t much traffic. I got home in 35 minutes – that has to be a record for me in the afternoon!

And yep, our nice summer and even nice fall so far is gone. Boo!

There’s nothing going on today. Just felt like blogging. Oh, last night I had to do 4 shots since I ran out of medicine in one Gonal-F pen and had to start on another. What fun, huh?

Continue On and Rain Sucks

The nurse just called and said my hormone levels look good, so I should continue with the same dose of the stim meds I’ve been on. Next appointment for blood work and an ultrasound is on Wednesday.

Now that the work issue is resolved, I feel completely drained. I am so exhausted. And it’s raining heavily right now – I hope that by the time I need to drive home, it will have slowed down a bit or better yet, a lot. I hate driving in the rain (which is funny considering the reputation Seattle has). Ugh, I’m never going to get home. My home is around 25 miles away from my work, which, on days like this, really sucks.