A Little Better

So the work issue is a little bit better. It still isn’t completely resolved, but things are looking better than they were yesterday, so I feel a little more relaxed.

Well, the 2nd shot last night wasn’t so bad, and it actually tickled when I took the needle out. My husband said that he wasn’t expecting to hear me giggle from it tickling me. These actually aren't too bad (though, of course, I would rather not do them in the first place).

Tonight, I’m going out with a group of girlfriends to this bar that we used to go to more in the U-District called the Galway Arms. I don’t plan to drink tonight. I’m sure it will be fine if I did, but I’d rather not just to be on the safe side. It should be a nice time. I’m entirely exhausted from this week though (because of work and after work stuff all week long), so I’m not sure how long I’ll last.

Oh, and last night, the show that I’ve been waiting several months to see – Lost – aired the premiere episode last night. I was recording the show on my DVR and watching something else when the show started – I was going to watch the entire episode with my husband when he came home and after we took care of the shot business. We did end up watching it most of it, but we didn’t get to see the first few minutes because my stupid DVR decided to act up again and just turn off. For some reason, every so often, the DVR will just turn off and I will have a blue screen on my tv. I have no idea why it does this, and it is super annoying. It almost makes me want to go get a TIVO instead. I was so annoyed. This show and another show, Veronica Mars, are the only two shows I’ve been really looking forward to (though there are plenty of shows I watch), and of course, the DVR acts up when this show comes on. Grr! Luckily, ABC has been putting some of their shows online for free, so I watched the part that I missed this morning when I got to work. :-D

Oh, and acupuncture last night was good. It was nice to go back. She's booked for a while though, so the next time will be on the 21st - a few days before retrieval.

A little update on some things

Regarding the decision on what to do with any embryos we may not use… for the scenario in which 5 years go by and we don’t use the embryos, we choose to give them to research…for the scenario in which both of us die, we choose to give them up for adoption. I just couldn’t decide, so I left it up to my husband to decide and this is what he came up with. I’m happy with this decision – though we may change our mind in the future. One thing that Nickie said in a comment to this post is something that my husband also said – giving the embryos to research may help a larger amount of women to get pregnant rather than allowing adoption. And I think I am leaning more toward research than adoption for that very reason. I assume that we will use any embryos that we make, but just in case we don’t, I think we will have them go to research.

To Jessie who commented on a prior post. I was completely nervous the first time I went to acupuncture (because of the needles), but also a little excited (because of the positive things I’ve heard it can do). I started going back in October 2005, but stopped around the last IUI because I wanted to save any remaining visits covered by my insurance for when we did IVF (as it turns out, my acupuncturist miscounted and I used up all my visits). So here I am again…going back to acupuncture. It’s been a while, so I hope my body will be o.k. with it again, but we’ll see. If you want to read more about my experience going for acupuncture for the first time, you can go here.

And thanks to Lara for giving me permission to ask questions about the injectables – I may take you up on that! Speaking of, I was going through my package last night and looked at the Lupron 2-week kit that I got, and there’s one tiny little vial in there. My initial thought was that this cannot be it. One little tiny vial that was 1/3 full? So I started to freak out a little bit that they hadn’t sent me all of the Lupron, but then I thought about the injections class earlier and how we barely used any of the liquid in each shot, so although, it doesn’t look like much, it will probably last. Still, I wasn’t so sure, so I e-mailed my nurse last night (still haven’t heard from her) and I called the pharmacy this morning and spoke to a pharmacist – he told me that they get this question all the time (why don’t they put a note in the box then?) and said that although it doesn’t look like much, it should be enough for 28 doses. Aaah, some relief.

A couple of you also mentioned heating pads for when the IM shots come around – the nurse yesterday also mentioned this, as did those in my support group. I will definitely be doing this – especially with those progesterone shots – I heard that they can hurt really like a . Oh, and those Gonal-F pens are so cool. I wish that they could all be so easy! I guess that’s why those pens were the most expensive drugs I got ($2200 out of the $3200 I paid) – now I know why the nurse chose the pharmacy based on the cost of these pens!

And some good news today – a "real-life" friend of mine found out her donor egg cycle worked!!! Yay!!!

Random Stuff

I thought I wouldn't have anything to say until tomorrow, but I do have some things.

1) The drugs arrived at my desk about an hour ago. Usually packages arrived earlier than that, so I was a little nervous about it and called the pharmacy to make sure it was shipped out and delivered. Of course, some of the drugs need to be refrigerated. You wanna know where I put them? In one of the fridges that everyone on this wing and floor uses... So there in the fridge sits a big silver package with a sticker on it that says "medications - need to be refrigerated" (or something like that). I tried to fit it in my boss' fridge, but the package was too big! The package took up one entire shelf. I suppose I could have taken the medicines out of the bag, but I'd rather wait until I got home to do that. So, umm, to my friends who are coming over this weekend, when you go to get a drink, you'll see my drugs sitting there in the fridge along with everything else. :-)

2) I know I've only been on BCPs for a little over a week, but I thought they would have cleared up skin by now rather than make it break out even more. I actually had a coworker say to me - "you're breaking out". What? Really? I had no idea and thanks for pointing that out btw. That doesn't make me feel self-conscious at all. You know, that reminds me. Back when I was in high school, an aunt said to me "when you're older, you won't have acne and your freckles will disappear or become lighter". LIAR!!! I think my freckles are darker (and there are more of them) and acne, no matter how much I clean my face, will always be with me, it seems. I actually like my freckles now - I didn't so much when I was younger.

3) It may seem strange to some of you to hear that a person who is afraid of needles to go ahead and schedule an acupunture appointment, but I did. For some reason, I don't fear the acupuncture needles nearly as much as the needles that contain medicine or take my blood. It was a little nervous at first, but I got used to the acupuncture needles. My next acupuncture appointment is next Wednesday night.

4) Speaking of needles, I have to have my blood taken tomorrow. I hate giving my blood. I'm sure I've mentioned it at one point or another how giving blood for me is a really painful time since they always have a hard time finding a vein to take blood from, and sometimes have to resort to taking blood from the vein on my hand. We'll see how it goes tomorrow. My husband also have to give some blood tomorrow - he is a lot better at the blood letting than I am.

Acupuncture?

I think I might have asked about this before, but I'm considering going back to do some acupuncture very soon. I will have to pay for it all out of pocket since I used up all of my 20 visits already this year. The binder I got from my clinic the other day says that acupuncture can help with those going through IVF, and I did like going. What do you guys think? Is acupuncture worth it?

Update on Me

I just realized that I never mentioned what happened after my last post about my cycle. AF just show up eventually - unfortunately. I should know better than to think that it would actually happen. After almost 4 years, is it actually going to happen? It's hard to keep my faith when each month it doesn't happen.

I'm hoping that my trips to the acupuncturist will help. I recently started going to an acupuncturist for my back pain and for infertility. Tomorrow will be my 2nd trip there. I really, really hope that this can help me out so I don't need to go back to the fertility specialist. If it doesn't work, I'll probably end up going back to the specialist at the beginning of the year, but we'll see. It's very tough financially, emotionally and physically to go through all of that. I just want to know why it just can't happen? Why can't I be a normal woman?

Anyway, right now I'm on CD 16. According to fertilityfriend.com, I should ovuluate tomorrow, but who knows with me. I might not actually be ovoluting. I'm starting to wonder if I have PCOS - I've had so many cysts in my past, so it certainly is possible.

Well, that's all for now. For those that may read this blog and are curious about my day to day life, I write more on my other blog called "It's All About Me". Until next time.