Decisions, Decisions
One of the things that we are required to do before we start with IVF is fill out some consent forms stating that we understand the risks and what’s involved, etc. This also includes what we want to do with any embryos that are not used during the fresh IVF cycle. We, of course, want to freeze them as we will have 3 FETs that we can do under the shared risk program. Well, one of the forms asks what we want to do with the frozen embryos should we not need them anymore or should either of us die or should we get a divorce. My husband and I are considering two of the choices – either giving the embryos up for adoption or giving the embryos to researchers. I’m leaning both ways so I don’t know which one to choose. I feel like I should give other people a chance to adopt the embryos and thus, have their own family, but would that be too weird knowing that there are children out there that are biologically related to us? On the other hand, I feel like I can do some good by allowing researchers to have them, but I also feel bad about this. I guess even though I am pro-choice, the last thing I want to do is to destroy life – but when does life begin? I feel like I have a much different perspective after going through infertility than I had before. I don’t know what decision to make. I hate that I have to make these choices. I don’t want to make these choices. I’m afraid of making the wrong one.
If anyone is willing to share, what would or did you decide with this issue?
If anyone is willing to share, what would or did you decide with this issue?
Labels: IVF #1
posted by seattlegal @ 10:28 AM
7 Comments:
At 10:47 AM ,
Anonymous said...
Well? can't you save the embryos for the future, if you want to have another pregnancy in the future and not able to conceive easily? I mean to you have to decide right now what to do with them?
I agree that it would be weird having other children out there that are biologically yours. Giving them to research would have them serve a purpose, instead of just disposing of them.
That is a really tough question, b/c I mean when they are embryos, I believe that is when life begins and how can you decide what to do with potential offspring?
Why do they have to ask you this now anyway? As if you don't have enough to be concerned about already!!
At 10:52 AM ,
seattlegal said...
Well, they are asking this in the event we don't want to use them anymore. We can change our minds later on, but they want something on file now before we get started on everything.
At 12:10 PM ,
Anonymous said...
Well, remember, being pro-choice means being in favor of *choices* for all, not that any specific choice is the right one.
That is a tough call, and it's good to know you can change your mind later. My personal choice would probably be for research. (Shocking, I'm sure.) But is that even allowable?
That makes me wonder though, is there a big demand for other people's frozen embryos for adoption? If so, I may be more likely to consider that. That idea would be rather weird to me though.
At 5:32 PM ,
GLouise said...
Gosh, I don't remember that specific question.
I think the way they worded it at our clinic was something like "after 5 years of being in the freezer, your embryos will either need to go to research, be destroyed, or "donated."
I think we stated something like "we plan to use all our embryos no matter what."
And then of course, we produced one measly two cell embryo, so it was a moot point.
Or a "moo point" as Joey on Friends would say :-)
I think my overall position is: I spent so much money and energy on producing the embryos, I *will* use all of them, no matter what! :-)
At 6:28 PM ,
OHN said...
Tough decision. I know I would always wonder if there was anotherchild out there with my DNA (I guess guys don't worry about this since sperm donation is so common) but I would have a really hard time knowing that my child would have a genetic sibling out there somewhere. Life begins whenever YOU decide it does..whether it is at conception etc..Personally if I was finished with them, I would gladly donate to research. There are soooo many diseases that could be cured if the research was more readily available...just my 2¢.
At 6:57 PM ,
Nickie said...
We opted to donate to research. We were simply too uncomfortable with the idea of our child(ren) walking around being raised by someone else. I think embryo donation/adoption is a wonderful thing, but just wasn't right for us.
We also feel that the research that is done will go farther to help many couples achieve pregnancy and would have a broader impact than embryo adoption would.
My DH believes that life does begin at conception and I feel that it begins (legally speaking) when the child can survive outside of the mother's womb.
Not an easy decision, that's for sure.
At 9:13 AM ,
Hopeful Mother said...
We plan to use any frosties, no matter what. But in the strange case that we can't/don't, and they have received no further instruction from us, they will be donated to research.
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