Third Time is Not the Charm...At Least With Us

So shortly after posting my last blog entry, AF showed up so IUI #3 is officially a failure. 26 day cycle. That doesn't seem like a good thing.

My husband and I were discussing what we want to do next. We're thinking of trying one more IUI, then moving onto IVF. Part of me wonders if that is the right thing to do - I wonder if we should just go ahead and move onto IVF. I just don't know if I'm ready to do so yet emotionally (and definitely not financially). We were also discussing whether to continue on with my current RE or move to another RE - will that make the difference between success and failure? I hate that there are so many decisions to make and that decision could make such a huge difference or no difference at all. It angers me that I even have to make these decisions when other women can get pregnant just by having sex. It kinda makes me laugh the money and time we spent on getting different forms of birth control.

I had one big emotional breakdown this morning when my husband came to me while I was typing the last post, and I just couldn't hold it in. Although my mother-in-law is in the hospital, I had a moment of selfishness and thought of my own failure in getting pregnant. I couldn't help it. It's something that I think about all the time, and I feel horrible for thinking of myself when my MIL is in the ICU. BTW, we still don't know what's wrong with her. The nurse that was in when we got to the hospital earlier today was bitchy and didn't seem to want to release any information to us, and we didn't know where the doctor was. We ended up talking to my mother-in-law. The breathing tube was taken out earlier in the day. She was really tired and felt horrible (as to be expected), and she really wanted us to go and clean up her house since my brother-in-law & his family (who live in San Diego) are coming into town and will be staying at her house. So that's what we spent most of the day doing. Well, I helped out when I could, but my cramps felt horrible so I laid down quite a bit.

Anyway, that's it for now. As for IUI #4, I'm thinking of taking one cycle off before starting again. I need the physical, emotional, and financial break from fertility treatments. Part of me thinks we should just jump back into it, but if we did, we would have to start on Monday on CD3 and since I'm not sure if I'll be able to see my RE then, I don't want to feel rushed into a decision on what protocol to do, so we'll probably wait. Plus, I kinda want to see the other RE and see what she thinks we should do. Maybe they will both think another IUI is a big waste of our time and money, but we'll see.