Desperately Seeking Baby...Babies Found

My thoughts on raising twins and a singleton after infertility.

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Wednesday, January 03, 2007

2006, today, and many questions

I had thought about doing a year in review - month by month, but that just seems like too much work. Let's just say that 2006 was one of ups and downs. We had 2 failed IUIs before our successful IVF. That was probably the biggest change in 2006. We are just over 12 weeks right now - holy wow!

We have a NT scan tomorrow morning (early at 7:30 a.m.). I'm excited to go to it as it is another chance to see those wigglers of ours. I can't wait!

If you have the National Geographic Channel, they are airing a show called "In the Womb: Multiples" on January 14. I'm looking forward to watching this - it should be really interesting. My husband and I just got through watching "In the Womb: Animals" which was very interesting and educational!

Now to the questions:

1) Does anyone know exactly how much weight I should have gained by this point? The twin book I have says I should have gained 25 pounds by week 20 - I seriously don't think that's possible the way things are going right now. I seem to be hovering around a certain weight (I will not mention here). However, lately, I have been very, very hungry. The nausea is still there, but it seems to be going away more and more each day (knock on wood). Last night, I just couldn't eat enough food and today is no different. Perhaps, I will be able to gain a certain amount of weight (not 25 pounds though) in 8 weeks.

2) My husband and I were discussing whether or not it is a good idea to have our babies sleep in the same bed as us in their early months because we will be getting up with them regularly. I don't think it's a good idea, but I'm curious about other opinions.

3) We went to Babies 'R Us the other day, and I am completely overwhelmed. My sister has been giving me her suggestions and sent along a list of things to get she saw on the web (though some things she pointed out aren't necessary). Any opinions on brands for cribs, bottles, diapers, etc.? What sort of things are a must and which things aren't?

4) We don't know the gender of our babies, and might not for some time now, but we started a discussion on circumcision and whether we would do this procedure should we have a boy. I'm torn on what to do. Any opinions on this topic?

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  • At 2:02 PM , Blogger Inglewood said...

    Hi Heather, hope this isn't assvice but here it goes:

    1. Can't help you with that one.

    2. We are getting a play pen with an crib-like insert that we will put in our room for the first couple of weeks while we are both off work, once my husband goes back to work I will sleep in the baby's room during the week. That is our plan so far, who knows if it will actually work as we have yet to have children, (I am 10 weeks right now), but it has seemed to work well for a few of our friends.

    3. It is easy to get caught up in everything that there is out there. One of my girlfriends said to get the basics, then purchase as needed and that there is a lot of things that aren't necessary. She purchased a travel highchair for $30 that attached to kitchen or dining room chairs, it was so convenient that she never bothered purchasing a highchair, used it with both children.

    4. Circumcision is a real hot topic, brave woman for actually asking opinions on this. We aren't going to, but my husband is a covered wagon so to speak so there isn’t that I won’t look like my son issue that some men have. Most of our friends have chosen not to, even those where the father has been. Religion and hygiene seem to be the two common reasons to do it. My husband just said that if you wash and rinse properly there shouldn’t be any issues. And he has no issues I can vouch for that!

    Best of luck with whatever you decide, in the end I think it all comes down to what works for you and your family. Good luck tomorrow on your NT scan, have fun checking out those wigglers of yours.

  • At 2:57 PM , Blogger Jennifer said...

    1~ in a singleton pregnancy 5lbs in the first trimester...if that helps.
    2~ ick no, our kids have always had thier own beds.
    3~ helpfull people can tell you which equipment they could not live without...and which ones drove them mad...know anyone else with tiwns already? ask them
    4~we did not circumcise our boy.

  • At 4:41 PM , Blogger OHN said...

    Oh boy, I love giving my opinion on just about everything :) here goes:
    1) I didn't gain much-only 23 the whole pregnancy (70 with the next pregnancy UGH!) I think it depends on how much you weigh at the beginning..I have a friend that was overweight and actually LOST weight the first 2 trimesters.

    2)First son was in his crib only. Second son, in crib and at times and with us at times. Third son slept at in our bed for 5 months..if you are breast feeding I would definately recommend it..just be sure the babies are in no danger of being pushed into a dangerous are or rolled over onto.

    3) Only get the basics at the beginning. Actually I was given the works as we were the last to have kids and we never used 1/2 of it. Get a good changing pad to use wherever you happen to be, a strong roomy diaper bag ( you wont believe the amount of stuff you need to take with you places ;) and a jammies...lots of jammies...diapers do leak :)

    4)Funny story..Our first son came to us through adoption and his birth mother did NOT have it done. He was 3 weeks old by the time he came to us and we didnt want to put him through that at that point plus our doc said he didn't circ his boys so we left well enough alone. Boy #2 was born and we wanted him to look the "same" as his brother so no circ...then when #1 was 2 yrs old, he had to have an emergency circ so now they don't "look alike"--they both are happy the way they are though :)

    There are about a zillion questions that you will wonder about. Don't hesitate to ask opinions but remember you have to do what YOU are comfortable with.

  • At 7:30 PM , Blogger onehm said...

    Hi there!
    I only had one baby, never multiples, but we had adopted three other kids by the time I gave birth and so I had to get up in the morning to get them to school, etc. We let our baby sleep in our bed (I swore I would never do that...) and he just slept so well. Now he's 10 months and sleeping in his own bed (from about 2 and a half months on) and doing fine!

    We did have him circumcised. It healed really quickly and well. My husband felt more strongly about this than I did, so I let him make the final decision, but we definitely agreed.

    A friend of mine had twins and she swore by these bottles:

    It really freed up some time for her!
    And even with one, I loved the baby Bjorn. Don't go generic. The Bjorn is worth every penny!

    Hope these help!

  • At 8:12 PM , Blogger Laura said...

    Not sure if these answers are in order:

    - By two Baby Bjorns - that brand. You will not regret it - having a free hand or two will be AMAZING
    - Also buy the Ocean Wonders (Fisher Price)soothing crib thing - 19.99 at Walmart - they are transfixed by it even as young babies - and as they get older can turn it on themselves - which will crack you up the first time they do it.
    - Both of my daughters (3 & 1) slept a bit in our bed as tiny babies - we had a protective little bed we bought that went between us - they both slept sounder, nursing was WAY easier, and we got the much needed shut eye. I'm pregnant with our thrid and I wouldn't do it any other way. Both girls now (and at about 3-4 months) sleep like champs in their own bed - trust me you'll know when it's time for your bed back!
    - Can't comment on the circumsision (two girls) - all I know is that my 3 year old daughter overheard a conversation at pre-school regarding a classmate that was to have it done in the near future - which she promptly regurgitated to my husband in the form of: "Daddy you need to go to the hospital for a surgery on your pee-pee - don't worry Daddy it won't hurt at all". See what you have to look forward to?

    Best of luck - Laura

  • At 8:15 PM , Blogger Jennifer said...

    1) I think everyone is different. I gained 5 pounds by week 20 (and 27 overall) with Sid.

    2)Again, everyone is different. It depends on whether you are both light sleepers (which is good, no rolling on the baby), whether you both agree, etc. It worked really well for us with Sid mainly because we didn't have anywhere else to put him and we both agreed that it would be nice to stay in our cozy bed (plus Robert didn't mind at all...I guess some guys just hate it). Another thing to consider is whether or not you'll be able to train them to sleep without you when they're older (we trained Sid to sleep on his own around 8 months). I hear a lot of people have a hard time with that. Thinking about your situation I don't know how you'd do two babies at the same time unless you were able to separate them somehow (so they don't wake each other up or scratch each other).

    3)I can't help much there. I didn't use a crib and I used cloth diapers mostly. Robert used playtex bottles when I was away (that's the only thing that they wouldn't gag on). I do agree that you really don't need much.

    4)We didn't circumcise. We were told that in our area more than 50% of boys born at that time weren't so we figured it'd be fine. There was some discussion about him not being like his father but it wasn't convincing enough to do it. I just couldn't cut a brand new perfect baby. Sappy, I know.

    Um, now that he's much older, we've kind of agonized about it wondering if we did the right thing. I've asked him and he seems fine with it so I should probably not worry about it.

  • At 6:26 AM , Anonymous Lori said...

    I think I gained about 50lbs total with the twins. By 12 weeks maybe I'd gained 5 or 10lbs - I really don't know.
    We have our twins in the same crib. So far it's working out great.
    We didn't circ our son. J is circ'd but we just weren't willing to put our son through something painful if not medically necessary.
    As for the gear - we're still trying to figure out the essentials.
    Good luck!

  • At 8:53 AM , Blogger Nickie said...

    More assvice from a BTDT mom:

    1 - don't worry about your weight gain. Let your dr tell you when it's not enough or too much.

    2 - We started having NSWO sleep with us. That lasted a week. Then he was in a bassinet next to the bed for a week, then the bassinet was across the room for a few days, then off to his crib. He was such a LOUD sleeper (grunting all flippin night long!) that I was getting NO sleep at all. Once he was in his crib, I could get up and nurse him in peace in his room and the changing stuff was in there too. For us, it just worked better. I know moms who moved into guest room with baby so DH could sleep for work too. With 2 babies, you just don't know what is going to work best, so don't plan too hard yet.

    3 - Oh girlfriend! It's time to plan a trip for you, me and Alli to meet at BRU. We can let you know what worked for us and you can make tons of notes and leave TOTALLY overwhelmed! LOL

    4 - NSWO is circumsized. Hubby is too and I left the decision to him if he thought it was more impt for DS to look like him and he decided it was. I don't regret the decision and if this one is a boy, we'll probably do it again. There are lots of opinions on it, so you'll have your reading/thinking ahead of you if you have a boy or two.

    The best thing I eventually learned (although ppl tried to tell me this before DS was born) is that you can't really estimate your needs very well ahead of time so don't stress over it and figure out what works for you as you go.

  • At 10:08 AM , Blogger KeDaCoMo said...

    My answers:
    1) Normally you dont gain alot of weight until 16 weeks or so after that your babies start doubling their weight every few days. As for the being hungry all the time, try drinking more liquids. overeating can cause you to gain weight too quickly and too much and can also cause gestational diabetes.

    2) having your babies in the same bed is not good b/c of the risk that you might roll over and smuther one. One baby at a time could perhaps nap with you during the day in the same bed, but also once you get comfortable with having them in your bed, it might be hard to break that habit and 4 in one bed is too much!

    3) as for cribs, doesn't really matter what brand you buy, just buy a new one, a used one might not be up on safety. Bottles, I liked playtex, Diapers-Luvs or pampers.

    4) I did not get either of my boys circumsized. I felt that it was something that should be up to them,if they want to get that done and me and my husband also felt that it was unnecessary pain for the baby.

  • At 3:01 PM , Blogger Jaimie said...

    1. 25lbs by 20w sounds like a lot. I would just go with whatever your doctor says.

    2. We talked about a family bed long before we started trying to get pregnant and decided no way. My husband is such a sound sleep and wakes up with such a start. He has swung at me before when he is startled in his sleep. Plus we have oncall jobs and our phones ring all times of the night and day.

    3. know nothing, yet

    4. My very first day that I was in my OB rotation of nursing school I got to see this beautiful little boy be born. The next day I saw him circumised. He cried, I cried. Since then, I have been present for God only knows how many circumcisions. Hands down it was less traumatic with the baby. Phimosis (the tightening of the foreskin over the glans) can happen at any age. Then hygiene is a serious issue. I have been apart of many circs on little guys (four and under) with this problem and then again as older adults. I have also been apart of a number of circ revisions where there is scarring or (most commonly) not enough skin was removed at the initial circ and mom wants it to look better.

    As traumatic as the first circ I saw was for me, it has been much harder for me to try and comfort a three year old that can't understand why he hurts so much. We will circ boys we have at birth because of my experinces. I don't recommend dad watching though.


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