To Go or Not to Go?

So in my last post, I mentioned that I bought a baby shower gift for a baby shower I said I would go to on Sunday. I talked to my support group about it and they all seem to think that even though it is ultimately my decision on whether to go, I should really consider not going after my feelings over the past few weeks with having to try IVF and all the usual frustrations I have with going through infertility. I know how the last baby shower I went to was a little difficult when they talked about being pregnant and the symptoms and all that - what makes me think that this one will be any better for me?

But I want to be a good friend to this person. I am really just starting to get to know her and I want that to continue, but I just don't know if I can make it through the baby shower. I wasn't terribly excited about shopping for the gift either - I just made a quick trip to Target and got it over with. I don't want her to be upset with me for not coming, so I feel like I should go, but my group kept saying (and my husband agrees with all they've been saying btw) that I need to think of myself first and not think of what others are going to think of me.

These past 4 years have been a big struggle, but I don't want to let it control my life (even though it does). I'm sure most of you, if not all of you, reading this understands. I just don't know what to do.