Desperately Seeking Baby...Babies Found

My thoughts on raising twins and a singleton after infertility.

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Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Hyperventilating

I'm hyperventilating. How the hell am I supposed to come up with $15,000 with all the other bills I have to pay - especially since I've never been good about money?

Basically, when the doctor told me that IVF was my best bet, she might as well have been telling me that I will never have children.

I just looked over my finances, and it's just never going to happen. And I can't tell you how completely depressed I am about this. I just can't work anymore today. How am I supposed to get motivated about my job when I feel like such crap?

I guess it's good that I have my support group tonight, but it seems everyone in my support group has no problem with coming up with the money to do several IVFs. How do people do it? I can't go out and borrow money or refinance my house. It's just not going to happen. I already have a house loan, a car loan and way too many school loans (I'm really regretting law school even more so now than I did before all of this - no not all lawyers make the big bucks).

I'm second guessing everything that I've done in my life so far - wishing I wouldn't have done this or that. I can't believe I used to be so afraid of getting pregnant and it looks like I never had reason to be. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.

Sorry to be so emotional. I just don't know how I'm going to get through this. I just hope that I do somehow.

posted by seattlegal @ 2:13 PM  

7 Comments:

  • At 2:32 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I was just wandering around the web and found your blog. I have so much to say, but I'll keep it short right now.

    First, I know how frustrating having to go through IVF is. I am able to have children without it, but my husband and I are both carriers of a VERY BAD genetic disease, and so must use IVF in order to do something called Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis. Anyway...I am very newly pregnant after trying for three cycles to even produce viable embryos (I am 39 years old). It does work, and while it is expensive, it is worth it.

    Second, there is at least one clinic that gives a money back guarantee if certain criteria are met. The only one I know about is in Maryland, but check them out, and see if other clinics offer such a thing. The cclinic in Maryland is called Shady Grove (I know, sounds like a mental institution) and they have offices in Anapolis and Baltimore.

    Good luck to you-L

     

  • At 2:42 PM , Blogger CJ said...

    I've been where you are. Unlike the previous person who commented, we decided to NOT attempt IVF and chose to go the adoption route instead. That was less than a year ago. Soon we will finalize the adoption of our two little ones (through two COMPLETELY different adoptions/avenues.)

    Whatever you decide, it will work out. Whether you do IVF or not. Whether you adopt instead of doing IVF or AFTER doing IVF.

    I've been in the place of hopelessness and it does work out.

     

  • At 3:12 PM , Blogger seattlegal said...

    Thank you both for your responses. It really does mean a lot to me to have that support and to hear what others have done in similar situations.

    There are a couple clinics in Seattle who do have a shared risk program. I plan to set up an appointment with one of the doctors at one of the clinics to get a second opinion from him and to ask about the shared risk program. I'm not completely sure on how it works, so it should be interesting.

    Thank you again for your responses!

     

  • At 7:40 AM , Blogger Ladybug Ann said...

    I sorry to hear this. Would you consider a loan? I know of some couples who got loans especially for doing IVF.

    What about going outside of the US? I have heard of couples coming to Canada to cycle. Success rates in Canada vary from 37% to 65% per cycle, comparable to many clinics in the US (of course, not comparable to hig profile ones like SIRM). I don't know the details and how much less it costs. All I know is that it costs residents $5 to 6 K (Canadian dollars) to do a cycle of IVF. Of course, there are no shared risk programs here. I am not sure about the rates for out-of-country residents but it is certainly worth checking out. Since you are in Seattle, Vancouver would be closest but Ontario (where I am) has a lot more clinics to choose from. Pros and cons.

     

  • At 3:41 PM , Blogger seattlegal said...

    Ladybug Ann - My husband really doesn't want to have to borrow money for this, but we'll see how he feels after several months of saving money. I'll check to see how much it would be in Canada for us - thanks!

     

  • At 2:32 PM , Blogger NatD said...

    Thanks for your comment on my blog :). As you know, I can *totally* relate. Luckily the clinic I'll use (if we stay here in OK) is a shared risk. However, we still have to come up w/the initial money to do the program. *Sigh* It's just so freakin' frustrating!

     

  • At 9:39 PM , Blogger erinberry said...

    I know exactly what you mean. A few weeks ago I posted a similar, desperate post about finances as they relate to IVF and/or adoption.

    We realized there was no way we could do both, and the only way we could do one would be to do a home equity line of credit. We don't like the idea of going into so much debt, but it is the only way for us.

    Best of luck to you.

     

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