Update & Emotional Rollercoaster
Suppression check - Everything looks good. There are 5 antral follicles on each side, no cysts, and the uterine lining looked good. Please tell me this is good - the page that I linked to above is freaking me out.
I'll start stims on Saturday and will go back for blood work early Monday morning.
I wrote this part last night when I was a bit emotional and well, profanities are aplenty...
Today, I went to a CLE all about internet legal research - 1st half boring, 2nd half surprisingly interesting.
I got home - thought things were going o.k., then I get a phone call from my boss at 8 p.m. regarding the issue that's been stressing me out lately. She called and asked a quick question and so I didn't have a chance to ask her what was going on as she just said bye to me, plus my mom was on the other line. I so desperately wanted to call her back to find out what's going on that she had to call me at 8 and couldn't wait until the next day to talk to me about it. So I started stressing about that and couldn't enjoy what I was doing (watching tv).
I went to go get my husband around 9:40. We came back home and I was very hesitant with the shot - too hesitant really - not all of the liquid got into me which caused me to freak out and wonder if I did the shot wrong and whether that one little mess up will cause the whole process to be fucked up. It really hurt tonight and now I got a bump on my tummy like a bug bite. I'm scared to death that I'm messing this up. Which caused an emotional breakdown. If this doesn't work, I will be second guessing myself and my shooting myself capabilities.
I just want to go scream somewhere "FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is so fucking unfair. Why the fuck does some crack addicted woman have 13 children* and I can't have one! Just one!" I fucking hate all of this that I have to shoot myself with drugs and if I do get pregnant that I will be anxious the entire pregnancy of making it through the pregnancy to have a healthy baby at the end.
I am so irritated and emotional right now that I'm not sure if it's best for me to be around anyone. Our girls night out was canceled last week, so we've planned to go again tomorrow night and well, I'm not sure if I should. I can't drink - at least, I don't think I should - and I'm an emotional wreck - who the hell would want to be around me? Maybe I'll be better by the time the meeting time comes. I don't know.
* Saw a guy on The Colbert Report who was talking about his book in which a guy who is one of 13 children born to a crack addicted woman who gets adopted through the foster system by this couple (something like that anyway) and he becomes a really good football player.
I'll start stims on Saturday and will go back for blood work early Monday morning.
I wrote this part last night when I was a bit emotional and well, profanities are aplenty...
Today, I went to a CLE all about internet legal research - 1st half boring, 2nd half surprisingly interesting.
I got home - thought things were going o.k., then I get a phone call from my boss at 8 p.m. regarding the issue that's been stressing me out lately. She called and asked a quick question and so I didn't have a chance to ask her what was going on as she just said bye to me, plus my mom was on the other line. I so desperately wanted to call her back to find out what's going on that she had to call me at 8 and couldn't wait until the next day to talk to me about it. So I started stressing about that and couldn't enjoy what I was doing (watching tv).
I went to go get my husband around 9:40. We came back home and I was very hesitant with the shot - too hesitant really - not all of the liquid got into me which caused me to freak out and wonder if I did the shot wrong and whether that one little mess up will cause the whole process to be fucked up. It really hurt tonight and now I got a bump on my tummy like a bug bite. I'm scared to death that I'm messing this up. Which caused an emotional breakdown. If this doesn't work, I will be second guessing myself and my shooting myself capabilities.
I just want to go scream somewhere "FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is so fucking unfair. Why the fuck does some crack addicted woman have 13 children* and I can't have one! Just one!" I fucking hate all of this that I have to shoot myself with drugs and if I do get pregnant that I will be anxious the entire pregnancy of making it through the pregnancy to have a healthy baby at the end.
I am so irritated and emotional right now that I'm not sure if it's best for me to be around anyone. Our girls night out was canceled last week, so we've planned to go again tomorrow night and well, I'm not sure if I should. I can't drink - at least, I don't think I should - and I'm an emotional wreck - who the hell would want to be around me? Maybe I'll be better by the time the meeting time comes. I don't know.
* Saw a guy on The Colbert Report who was talking about his book in which a guy who is one of 13 children born to a crack addicted woman who gets adopted through the foster system by this couple (something like that anyway) and he becomes a really good football player.
posted by seattlegal @ 11:40 AM
6 Comments:
At 2:09 PM ,
BigP's Heather said...
I haven't done injections - but I would think missing a little bit of it one time wouldn't mess up the whole process. I think you will be ok. I'm sorry it is sucky right now. Hope it gets better soon and that it will be worth it really soon!
At 3:00 PM ,
Hopeful Mother said...
Sorry about the freak-out. It happens to all of us - I seem to come back to that anger stage a lot... No worries about the shot - it will be fine. The "bug bite" is a skin reaction - especially if you have Repronex or another urine-based medication it can cause itching at the injection site, especially if it doesn't all make it under the skin.
Your suppression check sounds great! You will have plenty of follicles it sounds - don't worry about the page you read. Antrals are just a predictor - it will likely be a different number when you go in for your next ultrasound.
Hang in there!!
At 4:46 PM ,
Anonymous said...
feel free to scream out the "fucks". if you hold that in, it will just cause you more stress.
It sounds liek everything is going great. I wouldn't worry tp much about messing up a little, as long as you have some of it in your system, you should be good.
*hugs*
*hey I saw that episode, when stephen colbert says that if we were only all adopted by rich white people then we can all make it.
At 6:29 PM ,
Mary Ellen and Steve said...
I am sorry about the incident with the medication. Like the others said. It happens to all of us.
It sounds like your supression check went really well, which is great news.
Hang in there! We are all rooting for you. Hugs.
At 11:00 AM ,
Keeping The Faith said...
10 total antral follies sounds great. No worries to be had over that one. It sounds like everything is going well. I'm excited for you! Hang in there.. you'll be heading in for your transfer before you know it.
At 5:16 PM ,
Nickie said...
I'm sure you got plenty of meds in with the injection. The crazy emotions are a good thing.
And the antral count is only sort of relevant at suppression check. The baseline u/s is more informative. Even so, 10 is a good number!! Remember you've been suppressing your ovaries for a while now and they still want to pop out follicles, this shows they are not over-suppressed - all good!
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