Desperately Seeking Baby...Babies Found

My thoughts on raising twins and a singleton after infertility.

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Saturday, February 11, 2006

My Friends Don't Get It

I really wish my friends would at least try to understand how I feel. I showed them the Empty Arms video - though I doubt any of them watched it. I mentioned to them on my other blog (the one that I let them read) that I think insurance should cover infertility treatments. I don't know why they would even try to understand my point of view. They never ever ask me how I'm doing. It feels to me that they couldn't give a shit what I'm feeling or how much infertility is hurting me. I don't know why I mentioned it to them. I knew none of them would see my point of view. I knew that no one would care. I'm so close to not wanting to be around them anymore. I can't stop crying - mostly because infertility just sucks and I can't stand it anymore. I was supposed to be a mother by now. I can't believe we've been trying for FOUR years! FOUR years! And still no baby. Another reason I'm crying because my friends don't get it and they don't even seem to be making any kind of effort to even try to understand. And it isn't just because of their reaction to the insurance coverage (only one person has responded on this blog entry - I had mentioned it earlier in an earlier post and he doesn't think insurance should cover it - you'll notice my comments back then are way different than what I say now and that wasn't too long ago), it's because it feels like they don't give a shit about me and what my husband and I are going through.

I f***ing hate this, and I just want it to be all over and I haven't even tried IVF yet.

posted by seattlegal @ 1:50 PM  

5 Comments:

  • At 5:28 PM , Blogger Ladybug Ann said...

    Sending hugs. I have friends like that too. I think infertility is like a disability, people do not wish to acknowledge your pain.

    I remember a friend of mine, whom I emailed a couple of times about our TTC journey and she's never written back to acknowldge that she read them. Finally, I sat down and drafted an email to her. I told her that while my infertility does not define me, it is a very big part of my life and to have her not discuss it with me, it hurts. It felt like she chose to be shut out. I was going to email her the letter when she wrote me back and apologised for never discussing these things with me. It's like she read my mind. She checked out my blog once, but she's never been back. I think she's never going to be a friend whom I will turn to for support. I am fine with that.

    I hope you will find friends who are supportive.

     

  • At 5:23 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I'm so sorry your friends are being so unsupportive. That's just lousy and hurtful. I hope they see the light and figure out how to be more supportive.

     

  • At 11:51 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    You know, feel free to bring this up with "Michelle":

    (Would have happily posted it there, but can't log in)

    My father's cancer treatment costs more in a week than my ART has in almost six months. It is 100% covered. I would guess that the insurance company has shelled out close to a half a million dollars to keep him alive. I'm grateful that they're doing it, but it's not out of the goodness of their hearts. It's because they have to.

    My endometriosis treatment in a bad year costs more than an IVF cycle, but they'll keep paying for that until I go into menopause or die.

    Sam said "I wonder how many women get denied prenatal care so old men can keep getting V!agra." Good question.

    Incidentally, I used to live in a state with IVF coverage. I pay more for insurance in a state without IVF coverage, and I have fewer HMOs to choose from.

    From what I've heard, adding IVF coverage adds about a dollar and change to everyone's healthcare costs. A dollar and change A YEAR.

     

  • At 7:36 AM , Blogger seattlegal said...

    Thanks, akeeyu! I'll let her know.

    Also, in case anyone wants to post on my other blog, a pop up will come up asking for a sign in and password - that information should be given on the pop up - if it's not, let me know because anyone should be able to comment there. It's basically just to keep the spammers out.

     

  • At 2:52 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    So has michelle ever said anything about this now that she knows how much fetility drugs really are. Just curious, b/c she sounded like a real bitch in that post and I am very sorry that I did not post my comment about that back then.

     

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