Depressed

I'm not sure why, well, actually, I know why, but I am feeling depressed. My coworker who is pregnant is going around showing her ultrasound of her baby. That makes me depressed because why not me!!! And it's CD19 and I still haven't ovulated. It just seems like my cycles are getting worse rather than better. How can I get pregnant if my cycles are so crazy?

Oh, and it doesn't help that it just looks miserable outside, I hate my job, and that my mom had her surgery yesterday and I keep thinking about her and how she's doing. The surgery seems to have been successful. I just wish I could be there to help.

I just want this feeling to go away. I don't like feeling this way. I don't like feeling that I have no control over my life and what's going on with loved ones. I wish I knew if things were going to be o.k. That my mom is going to be o.k. and that I am going to be a mother and that I will find a job that I love.

UGH!!!