:-(

I can't stop thinking of Mary Ellen and Steve and their loss. There were days, especially those first few weeks of the pregnancy and the first few days in the hospital, when I was afraid that I would lose my babies. So afraid of finally achieving pregnancy and later, being so far along in the pregnancy, to only have everything taken away from us. When I read the news of Mary Ellen and Steve's daughters, I remembered those times and how much my heart ached at the thought of losing my babies, but thankfully, I didn't. I consider myself so extremely lucky to have my babies. I want this so much for Mary Ellen and Steve and for the countless others who go through this kind of pain. For those who want to be a parent but can't seem to get there.

I just cannot imagine what they are going through. I wish I could make things better for them. Why does it have to be so hard for wonderful people like them to have children while there are people in this world that treat children so horribly? It's enough to doubt everything you believe in. I want things to be different for them - for everyone who has gone through this kind of pain. For anyone who has ever gone through infertility. I don't want to say they deserve it because it's not a question of who deserves what - it's just - they've been through so much - so many have gone through so much.