Expectations

I have a coworker who is talking about this trip to Rome that she is going to take and talking about taking off a week here and there throughout the year. She has 5 weeks of vacation, and she's complaining about wanting to take time off. I have no sympathy when I only get 2 weeks of vacation. Anyway, on the way home tonight (we're in a vanpool together), she was talking about her trip and that she wants to take this trip before she's pregnant because next year she'll be pregnant.

It really irritated me that she just expected that she'd be pregnant next year. Her and her husband are going to start trying soon, and she's a bit older than me. She knows all the stuff I've been through with trying to get pregnant, and yet she just expects she'll just end up pregnant right away. And wait, she will. I will be soooooooo depressed (more so than I am now - more on that later) if she ends up becoming pregnant before I do. And she looks like Jennifer Aniston. UGH!

Anyway, on why I'm depressed (at least, more than usual). I think my period is coming very soon. I REALLY, REALLY thought that this month I was going to end up pregnant. I really felt that I was pregnant, that is, until this morning when my temperature dropped. I had such trouble concentrating at work today. I just wished that the day would end so I could go home and cry. When I finally did get home, after feeling the way I did this morning when I saw my temperature dropped, then this afternoon, when a coworker was talking about her pregnancy plans, I did come and cry. My kitties tried their best to cheer me up - but seeing a positive pregnancy test would really be the only thing that could cheer me up right now.